The Turd also Rises

by Ron Russell

Money, "the root of all evil" or is it power that's--"the root of all evil". I think the answer in this case is both, but tilted in favor of power. These buffoons in congress who spend the tarp money, will want us to pat them on the back for building a new road. One we don't need between Podunk and Hog Hill. And a great bridge across Pigee's Creek connecting farmer Hamhouck's home on the west bank to his out-house on the east bank. The creek will benefit in that the number of UFO's (unidentified floating objects) spotted downstream will be decreased by an estimated 50%, although the over all catfish population may suffer because of their dependence on these UFO's. This has some environmentalist crying foul, the EPA nevertheless has given it stamp of approval. Saying that the benefits out-weigh the downsides. Fisherman upstream from the bridge seem to favor the construction of the bridge, those downstream are dismayed over the prospect of a smaller catch--not in just the quantity, but in the size of the individual fish. Farmer Hamhouck is pleased and says," I've always voted Republican in the past, but from now on I'm Obama's man---I finally have a place to put my shi...t" end of quote---we're not completely clear as to what he meant.