Holiday Inn del Norte

As a result of the recent decision by the Department of Homeland Security to house illegal immigrants in hotels in this country signs are already popping up in many Mexican cities just south of the border announcing the great new Gringo Hotel, "Holiday Inn del Norte". The rates are unbelievable low (hell, its free) to all with one exception no American citizens are allowed. To qualify for this great deal you must be an illegal alien and present NO papers when checking in. Your stay at this great vacation spot is unlimited and includes free food (including refried beans, tacos, and tortillas daily), free drinks, free clothing, free bedding, free towels, free phone calls, free cable T.V.and some free Internet. The luxury pool is open to all guest, and management will only ask that any river mud be washed off before entering. No need to phone ahead for reservations, just show up in America without papers and you will be provided immediate transportation to the nearest Holiday Inn del Norte, but keep in mind no American citizens will be allowed, so if you have one leave them at home. The welcome mat is out for our friends south of the border. All this is available to our comrades in the south courtesy of Janet Napoltino, Barack Obama and the generous American taxpayers. So gather up your drug addicts, your criminals and other misfits and come to "Holiday Inn del Notre"!

The Department of Homeland Security announced last week that it plans to convert hotels, nursing homes, and other residential facilities into detention buildings to house "non-criminal, non-violent" illegal immigrants as they await court hearings and deportation to their native countries.

Thanks to the Department of Homeland Security, advocates on both sides of the illegal immigration debate have finally found common ground. They both agree that housing illegal immigrants in hotels while they await hearings and deportation is the wrong way to solve a national problem.

Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano and U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement Assistant Secretary John Morton announced last week that the DHS plans to convert hotels, nursing homes, and other residential facilities into detention buildings to house "non-criminal, non-violent" illegal immigrants while their cases are considered.

While there won't be room service or a mini-bar, officials and immigration reform advocates say converted hotels will be far better housing than the overcrowded, prison-like detention facilities illegals are currently placed in.

"There have been scores of deaths in detention centers and a lot of these people are nonviolent and awaiting civil deportation," said Marshall Fritz, director of immigration policy for the Center for American Progress. "The idea of a less punitive setting is a welcome one."

But the initiative is being roundly criticized by immigration reform advocates, who say it does little to change an underlying, flawed immigration system, and by deportation advocates, who say it is a drain of public funds.

Fritz and others say the very idea of using converted hotels to detain illegal immigrants underscores some of the "absurdities" of current immigration policy.

"They're converting the longstanding detention model into a hospitality model," said Bob Dane, a spokesman for the Federation for American Immigration Reform. "Instead of focusing resources where it would do the best -- enforcement -- they're retrofitting Ramada Inns with no specifics as to the security aspects."

"It doesn't change what we have -- and that's a dysfunctional, Draconian system based on a law that is unworkable," added David Leopold, president of the American Immigrations Law Association. "We detain far too many people at high costs to the American taxpayer, with no real benefit."

The Department of Homeland Security did not respond to repeated requests for comment.

While Leopold said he applauds the administration's efforts to make detention centers more "civil," he said he advocates less expensive, less restrictive measures like ankle bracelets to ensure illegal immigrants' presence at court hearings.

"People accused of vary serious drug crimes walk out of court all the time with ankle bracelets, while illegal immigrants who have never even been suspected of a crime get locked up all the time," he said.

But critics say that illegal immigrants have committed a crime -- entering the United States illegally -- and that they should be punished through speedy detention and deportation. read more from FOX News