The Obama Bed Bug

IT IS BEING REPORTED THAT ALL MAJOR BED MANUFACTURES IN THE UNITED STATES ARE NOW BEING FORCED, UNDER THREAT OF AN IRS AUDIT, TO INSTALL THE "OBAMA BED BUG" ON ALL NEW MATTRESSES.  MAJOR COMPANIES SUCH AS BASSETT, NAUTILUS, ORTHO, SEALY, SERTA AND SIMMONS AS WHILE HAS HUNDREDS OF SMALLER ONES ARE NOW GEARING UP TO INSTALL WHAT IS BEING CALLED THE "THE OBAMA BUG".  NOT ONLY IS THE "OBAMA BUG" CAPABLE OF RECORDING ANY "BED TALK" IT CAN ALSO SENSE ANY UNUSUAL MOVEMENT BENEATH THE COVERS.  SOURCES IN THE ADMINISTRATION WERE RELUCTANT TO ADMIT THE EXISTENCE OF ANY SUCH DEVICE, BUT UNDER INCREASING PRESSURE FINALLY ADMITTED TO IT'S EXISTENCE.  BUT THOSE IN THE ADMINISTRATION WERE QUICK TO INFORM  US, THAT ANY INFORMATION GATHERED WILL  BE STORED AT A SECURE LOCATION AND ONLY GOVERNMENT WORKERS WITH TOP SECRET CLEARANCE WILL HAVE ACCESS TO THE INFORMATION STORED THERE.  WHEN ASKED HOW MANY PEOPLE THAT INCLUDED JAY CARNEY WAS QUICK TO REPLY THAT IT WAS UNDER A MILLION AND THAT THEY HAVE ALL UNDER GONE SECURITY CHECKS JUST AS EDWARD SNOWDEN HAD.  CARNEY SAID THAT AMERICANS SHOULD  NOW BE ABLE TO GET A GOOD NIGHTS REST  KNOWING THE OBAMA BED BUG WON'T BITE.  IMAGE FROM THE PEOPLES CUBE