RECENTLY AN ELITE FACILITY PANEL AT OBERLIN COLLEGE, AMERICA'S MOST RENOWN PROGRESSIVE INSTITUTE RELEASED IT'S 5 YEAR STUDY OF THE JOHN KENNEDY ASSASSINATION. THE SOMEWHAT LENGTHY REPORT WAS CLEAR ON ONE POINT THAT LEE OSWALD DID NOT KILL THE PRESIDENT. IT WAS, IN FACT, THE 6.5mm CARCANO MODEL 91/38 RIFLE. A RIFLE THE WAS BORN AT THE ROYAL ARMS FACTORY IN TERNI, ITALY AROUND 1938. IT WAS ALSO DETERMINED "CARCANO" HAD PERPETRATED AN ATTEMPT ON THE LIFE OF EVIL RETIRED RIGHT WING GENERAL, EDWIN WALKER SOME MONTHS BEFORE THE KENNEDY ASSASSINATION.
ALTHOUGH THE MAJORITY OF THE PANEL WAS IN AGREEMENT ON THE REPORT THERE WERE A FEW DISSENTERS. ONE MEMBER OF THE DISTINGUISHED PANEL PLACED THE BLAME SQUARELY ON THE ARMS MANUFACTURING COMPANY IN ITALY WHILE YET ANOTHER, THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT FOR ALLOWING GUNS TO BE SENT THROUGH THE MAIL (AS OSWALD PURCHASED "CARCANO" VIA U.S.MAIL). THE DISSENTERS DID NOT STOP THERE AS YET ANOTHER MEMBER CLAIMED THAT THE WORLD STEEL INDUSTRY WAS GUILTY BECAUSE THEY PRODUCED THE STEEL THAT MADE THE GUN. BUT ANOTHER PANEL MEMBER REMINDED HIM THAT A KNIFE COULD HAVE BEEN USED JUST AS EFFECTIVELY EVEN IF MADE FROM STONE. FINALLY, AFTER BLAMING THE GUN, THE GUN MANUFACTURE, THE STEEL INDUSTRY, THE STONE KNAPPERS FROM ANTIQUITY AND OTHERS, ONE BRAVE FACULTY MEMBER REALIZING THAT THERE WAS NO ONE ELSE TO BLAME, DISSENTED FROM THE REPORT AND SAID, "OSWALD DID IT". HE WAS SOUNDLY REBUKED BY HIS FELLOW PANEL MEMBERS AND ACCUSED OF BEING A "RIGHT WING" PLANT.
No way ... Bush did it.
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