Putin for President (of the United States) in 2016

AMERICA NEEDS A REAL MAN IN THE WHITE HOUSE AND NOT SOME WIMPY COMMUNITY ORGANIZER.  SO I'M JOINING THE GROWING NUMBER OF AMERICANS FOR VLADIMIR PUTIN.  WHAT YOU SAY, HE IS NOT ELIGIBLE BECAUSE HE WAS BORN IN THE OLD USSR.  AS HILLARY CLINTON WOULD SAY, "WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE"!  ALL ONE NEEDS IS A DOCTORED BIRTH CERTIFICATE.  HOWEVER, AS I UNDERSTAND IT, PUTIN WAS BORN ON THE GROUNDS OF THE AMERICAN EMBASSY IN MOSCOW WHERE HIS PREGNANT MOTHER WAS WORKING UNDERCOVER FOR THE KGB.  OFFICIALLY THAT WOULD MAKE HIM  A CITIZEN OF THE UNITED STATES.  AND I FEEL SURE THE KGB CAN PROVIDE DOCUMENTATION AS TO THAT FACT.  OF COURSE PUTIN DOESN'T SPEAK ENGLISH AND SOME CLAIM THAT WOULD BE A PROBLEM IN THE CAMPAIGN AND LATER AFTER HE IS ELECTED. 

BUT MOST AMERICANS WILL NOT CONCERN THEMSELVES WITH THAT BECAUSE AMERICANS DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT THE CURRENT PRESIDENT IS SAYING AND JUST WHEN THEY THINK THEY DO, THEY FIND HE IS LYING SO WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE.  AND PRESIDENT PUTIN WOULD IMMEDIATELY BEGIN TO CUT THE BUDGET BY LAYING OFF THE ENTIRE SECRET SERVICE AS HE CAN HANDLE HIS OWN SECURITY.  THAT ALONE WOULD CUT HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS FROM THE VAST WHITE HOUSE BUDGET.  AND WHEN IT COMES TO OIL PRODUCTION PRESIDENT PUTIN WOULD MAKE US TOTALLY INDEPENDENT FROM MIDDLE EAST OIL BY BUILDING PIPE LINES AND OPENING ALL FEDERAL LANDS  TO DRILLING.  AND IF THAT DIDN'T WORK HE WOULD JUST TAKE THAT DAMN ARAB OIL AT GUN POINT IF NECESSARY.  SOME MAY SAY, THAT PUTIN WOULD NOT FOLLOW THE CONSTITUTION OR UPHOLD THE PRINCIPLES OF THE FOUNDERS, WELL DOES OUR CURRENT PRESIDENT.  WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE ANYWAY.  YES, AMERICA NEEDS A MAN LIKE VLADIMIR PUTIN AT THE HELM.  A MAN OF ACTION, A DECISIVE LEADER WHO CAN MAKE A DECISION IN A TIME OF CRISIS AND NOT LEAVE AMERICANS TO DIE IN SOME FOREIGN LAND WAITING FOR HELP TO COME.   WE HAVE ALREADY ELECTED A "MANCHURIAN CANDIDATE". AT LEAST WITH VLADIMIR WE KNOW WHAT WE'RE VOTING FOR.   PUTIN FOR PRESIDENT.