Obama White House Staffers cling to their Desk and iPhones following Trump Victory

Following the historical upset win of Donald Trump, White House staffers are still in shocked disbelieve over the election outcome.  Apparently most thought they would retain their position in the new Hillary Clinton administration.  Many of the distraught staff have been seen walking the halls of the West Wing in a zombie-like state.  Additionally nearby George Washington University Hospital has noticed a spike in those admitted with drug overdoses.  With one doctor reportedly seeing butter knife scratches on the wrist of one young intern (seems that Democrats just can't do things right).  Another young woman, who had been promised an internship, on what was thought to be an incoming Clinton administration was admitted with a serious overdose. 

The delirious girl raved that she had been cheated out of her moment of fame by the racist Donald Trump.  Seems the impetuous girl intended to take a selfie of the carpet burns on her knees following a sought after, private meeting with Bill Clinton, the first dude.  An encounter that would catapult her into celebrity status following the posting of the revealing image on her Facebook page.   Now, that much anticipated  meeting would never happen due to the intervention of arch-misogynist Trump!  Apparently President-Elect Trump gets blamed for everything---including anticipated carpet burns!