Conservative News, Commentary and Satire from TOTUS, Delta Smelt Satire

What should President Trump expect during an interview with Robert Mueller

On Wednesday from Switzerland, President Donald Trump told reporters that he was “looking forward” to speaking with Special Counsel Robert Mueller, that he “would love to do it,” and that “I would do it under oath”
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CALIFORNIA FARMERS IN THE JOAQUIN VALLEY HAVE STRUCK A BLOW AGAINST RADICAL ENVIRONMENTAL LAWS THAT WOULD PROTECT THE TINY DELTA SMELT AT THE EXPENSE OF THEIR FARMS BY OPENING SECRET DELTA SMELT CANNERIES IN THE SIERRAS.

Apparently the farmers in central valley of California have had enough when it comes to the tiny Delta Smelt---a fish put on the endangered species list because of actions by environmental activist groups. As a result, the state of California has diverted millions of gallons of water from the farms in the Central Valley resulting in the closing of hundreds and bringing the unemployment rate to a high not seen since the days of the Great Depression.

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Palestinian Authority Launches GoFundMe after US Aid Cuts

 

The Palestinian Authority has announced it will launch a GoFundMe page, after the U.S. State Department’s $80 million aid reduction and further threats from Donald Trump to cut all aid.

PA President Mahmoud Abbas decried the cuts. “After decades of brutal and humiliating occupation, this is a slap in the face of the Palestinian nation and will be devastating to its people. Our reduced circumstances will mean my new $13 million-dollar Presidential Palace will only have only one helicopter pad and no runway for my new $50 million private jet. Unacceptable!”

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Road to World War III: 3 Iranian Missiles strike Saudi Aramco Oil Refinery near Riyadh

Day 1:   Reuters News Agency is reporting that 3 Iranian missiles have hit the massive Saudi Aramco Oil Refinery near Riyadh.   Reuters is further reporting that the Iranian "Shahab" missiles were launched from the base near Tabriz. The White House has just broken it's silence on the unfolding events in the Middle East, saying the two sides should explore all avenues for a peaceful solution! 

Day 1 + 4 hours:   A flight of some 22 Saudi F-15's flying out of Prince Sultan Air Base some 60 miles south of Riyadh has attacked the Iranian Naval Base at Bandar Abbas in the Straits of Hormuz.
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Trump's SOTU Speech on Steroids

We all know, by this time, that our 45th President is a man that speaks his mind.  We have no idea what Donald may say at his SOTU speech.  You just have to follow the below link to see what, I suspect Trump will be thinking as he looks out at those gathered in the House chambers.

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Wash Hands before Touching Exotic Robotic Pole Dancers

Finally Vegas strip clubs have solved that age old problem of customers groping the Pole Dancers.  Some Las Vegas gentleman's clubs are now featuring erotic robotic dancers.  Apparently, the only requirement is that potential male gropers wash their hands thoroughly upon entering the establishment. Read more..... 

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Will Wooden Dildos replace Planet Destroying Plastic ones in California?

I'm old enough to remember the day when Paper Bags were condemned by those on the left as a 'real and present danger' to the forest of America.  At that time our astute neighbor to the south, Mexico was using those glorious plastic bags at the markets and tourist shops.  The Mexican Government was seen as the champion of the Green Movement.  

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Shocking: California Plastic Surgeons report astronomical increase among women for Botox Butt Enhancement Injections

Just recently, it was reported that a number of camels in a Saudi beauty contest were disqualified after it was discovered their beauty was enhanced by Botox Injections.  Recently I visited the Golden State, specifically the Hollywood area and was quite shocked to see the women of Sunset and Vine had unusually large butts and lips.  My cousin, who I was visiting explained this abnormality noting that for some reason the women of tinsel town felt that inflated butts and lips made them more attractive to members of the opposite sex and likewise members of the same sex for those so inclined.
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  Shocking Explanation given by FBI for losing Trump Hating Lover's Text

What a tangled web we weave when first we try to deceive!

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California Millennial's to Leave USA and Form new Nation of 'Safespaceistan'

Efforts by the residents of California to secede from the US haven’t yet received sufficient support to be realized. Consequently, a revolutionary group of Californian millennial's have decided to found their own country in unpopulated territory in Oman, near the Yemeni border.
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Is Donald Trump the Reincarnation of Sam Houston

Coming soon to a town near you.  Open border Democrats would allow anyone to enter into the United States.  That is anyone they believe would vote for them.  Of course that would eliminate those from eastern European countries.  Progressive Dems fully realized those poor souls has witnessed the folly of the Socialist State while under the domination of the old USSR and would be unlikely candidates for future Democratic voters.
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Democrats Shutdown Government to show their Support for Crime in the United States

It is becoming quite clear that most in the Democratic Party support illegal aliens in their law-breaking rampage across America.  They have in fact shutdown the government to show their support of the alien community in what can only be described as illegal acts.  They not only prevent ICE federal officers from enforcing their duties in sanctuary cities, but are now trying to hold the patriotic men and women of our armed forces hostage by not paying them while they put their lives on the line in defense of the nation.
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ICE Raids homes and buildings flying Mexican Flag in San Francisco

Earlier today thousands of ICE agents were seen landing on California beaches just south of San Francisco.  They are apparently raiding homes and businesses flying the Mexican National flag.  Additionally dozens were seen entering state and local government buildings and removing officials in handcuffs.  It has been further noted that hundreds of heavily armed agents have parachuted into Sacramento and are at this time surrounding the governor's mansion with an arrest warrant for governor 'Moonbeam' Brown.
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