TOTUS: News, Satire, and Opinion Jan. 29, 2018

Trump's SOTU Speech on Steroids

We all know, by this time, that our 45th President is a man that speaks his mind.  We have no idea what Donald may say at his SOTU speech.  You just have to follow the below link to see what, I suspect Trump will be thinking as he looks out at those gathered in the House chambers.

Read more.... 

 ______________________________

Wash Hands before Touching Exotic Robotic Pole Dancers

Finally Vegas strip clubs have solved that age old problem of customers groping the Pole Dancers.  Some Las Vegas gentleman's clubs are now featuring erotic robotic dancers.  Apparently, the only requirement is that potential male gropers wash their hands thoroughly upon entering the establishment. Read more..... 

______________________________

Will Wooden Dildos replace Planet Destroying Plastic ones in California?

I'm old enough to remember the day when Paper Bags were condemned by those on the left as a 'real and present danger' to the forest of America.  At that time our astute neighbor to the south, Mexico was using those glorious plastic bags at the markets and tourist shops.  The Mexican Government was seen as the champion of the Green Movement.  

Read More.....

______________________________

Shocking: California Plastic Surgeons report astronomical increase among women for Botox Butt Enhancement Injections

Just recently, it was reported that a number of camels in a Saudi beauty contest were disqualified after it was discovered their beauty was enhanced by Botox Injections.  Recently I visited the Golden State, specifically the Hollywood area and was quite shocked to see the women of Sunset and Vine had unusually large butts and lips.  My cousin, who I was visiting explained this abnormality noting that for some reason the women of tinsel town felt that inflated butts and lips made them more attractive to members of the opposite sex and likewise members of the same sex for those so inclined.
Read more..... 

______________________________

  Shocking Explanation given by FBI for losing Trump Hating Lover's Text

What a tangled web we weave when first we try to deceive!

Read more..... 

______________________________ 

California Millennial's to Leave USA and Form new Nation of 'Safespaceistan'

Efforts by the residents of California to secede from the US haven’t yet received sufficient support to be realized. Consequently, a revolutionary group of Californian millennial's have decided to found their own country in unpopulated territory in Oman, near the Yemeni border.
Read more,,,,,, 

______________________________ 

Is Donald Trump the Reincarnation of Sam Houston

Coming soon to a town near you.  Open border Democrats would allow anyone to enter into the United States.  That is anyone they believe would vote for them.  Of course that would eliminate those from eastern European countries.  Progressive Dems fully realized those poor souls has witnessed the folly of the Socialist State while under the domination of the old USSR and would be unlikely candidates for future Democratic voters.
Read more..... 

______________________________ 

Democrats Shutdown Government to show their Support for Crime in the United States

It is becoming quite clear that most in the Democratic Party support illegal aliens in their law-breaking rampage across America.  They have in fact shutdown the government to show their support of the alien community in what can only be described as illegal acts.  They not only prevent ICE federal officers from enforcing their duties in sanctuary cities, but are now trying to hold the patriotic men and women of our armed forces hostage by not paying them while they put their lives on the line in defense of the nation.
Read more..... 

______________________________ 

ICE Raids homes and buildings flying Mexican Flag in San Francisco

Earlier today thousands of ICE agents were seen landing on California beaches just south of San Francisco.  They are apparently raiding homes and businesses flying the Mexican National flag.  Additionally dozens were seen entering state and local government buildings and removing officials in handcuffs.  It has been further noted that hundreds of heavily armed agents have parachuted into Sacramento and are at this time surrounding the governor's mansion with an arrest warrant for governor 'Moonbeam' Brown.
Read more.....

______________________________ 

Shocking: President Trump's Annual Medical Examine Reveals Small Callus on Right Index Finger

Following President Trump's annual Medical examine at Walter Reed National Military Medical Center the President's physician, Rear Admiral Ronny Jackson took the podium at the White House Daily briefing to answer questions regarding the President's health.  As one might expect, the questions centered on Trump's mental health.  Dr. Jackson announced that Trump's cognitive score (a screen for neurological abnormalities) was a perfect 30.  The news conference went down hill from that point with questions about how much ice cream, Hamburgers, and diet cokes the president consumed.
Read more..... 

______________________________