Trump urges exportation of Lion Meat to Kenya to save Species

Many of the Hollywood elite had promised to leave America should their worst nightmare (the election of Donald Trump) come true.  It is being reported that none on this extensive list have made any airline reservations at this time and observers at LAX international airport have noticed no appreciable increase in private Lear Jet traffic leaving the facility. 

However, sources inside the West Wing have over heard muffled voices among the staff discussing, soon to be former President Obama's secret post Trump inauguration plan, which includes a trip to a remote Kenyan village on the slopes of Mount Kilimanjaro.  Villager's there are said to be preparing a warm welcome for the return of their prodigal son.  It appears, that the enthusiasm for the arrival of this ex-patriot has only grown since the rumors are flying that Barack is a "slow runner" --it must be his white half.  It should be noted that the villagers hold slow runners in a exalted position in the tribal hierarchy and  provided them with only the best cuisine---much like that of the fatted calf of biblical times---oops! 

Footnote:  You don't have to be the fastest runner to escape the lion, just not the slowest!      

Today's Bonus

White House Leaks Story of Obama's Birth Certificate!

This is a re-posting of an earlier article. Due to continuing interest in the subject we are bringing back this post.

Unidentified sources inside the White House are quietly revealing, what has just been a rumor up until this time, that Obama may have indeed been born in Kenya. It is believed that these revelations are coming now, as a result of the ongoing effort by some groups to get the original copy of his birth certificate made public. At this moment the complete details are sketchy, but some details are emerging. It now appears that Ann Dunham (Mrs Barack Hussein Obama, Sr) had returned to Kenya with her husband of only 6 month in mid-July of 1961 to meet members of his Kenyan family. It is thought that while on this visit Ann Dunham learned of Obama seniors earlier marriage to a woman named Kezia in 1954 and that the two were the parents of four children. According to White House sources Ann, distraught and shaken leaves the senior Obama and goes to the nearby capital city of Nairobi and fearing for her life at that time seeks refuse at the American Embassy there. At first the embassy officials were somewhat reluctant to admit the young wife, but upon hearing her story of the death threats leveled at her by the family of Kezia, Barack seniors true wife they decide to give the young obviously pregnant girl asylum in the embassy. According to recently released embassy records the embassy was over-flowing with American nationals at that particular time due to a sharp spike in black nationalist activities directed at whites in the country. Because of over-crowding in the embassy proper, Ann was given shelter in a small shed in the rear of the embassy, a shed formerly reserved for livestock. The livestock had been removed several months before. It was in this former stable, that Ann unexpectedly gives birth to Barack Hussein Obama II, the current President of the United States. The anonymous sources at the White House are quick to point out two things: first, President Obama was born on American soil (U.S. Embassy grounds are considered under international agreements to be part of the United States); second, the ONE was born in a stable (the source was quick to emphasize this fact) for what reason we are not sure! Finally the issue is settled, Obama was born on American soil with his humble beginnings in a stable---the message here well I'll leave that to you!

by Ron Russell