Newsmax

Tuesday, July 25, 2017

Strange events at Area 51 contributed to Trumpites having extraterrestrial relationships with obnoxious beings

A witness before the Senate Foreign Relations Committee investigating the strange goings on at Area 51, where it is alleged that members of the Trump administration had extraterrestrial relationships with obnoxious beings with a red star on their forehead opened his testimony with the following brief statement:
"I am not now nor have I ever  been a member of the communist
party. Furthermore, I did not honeymoon in Moscow.  Although I do prefer Russian Dressing on my salad."

Monday, July 24, 2017

OJ's Search for Justice

After 9 long years of sitting in a Nevada sweat box somewhere in a southwest desert, where the air-conditioning system often failed and being provided only with the absolute minimum necessities necessary to sustain life---namely 3 hots and a rack, O.J. Simpson has finally been freed.  Freed by the efforts of ten of millions who pressured a racist state to correct the injustice imposed by a racist judge for a virtually non-existence crime in sin city where the 'Juice' was simply trying to regain his personal properties.  Properties stolen by speculators merely seeking financial gain.

At last OJ is free to continue his search for the person or persons responsible for his beloved wife's death so many years ago.  It is being reported that OJ will begin his search for this dastardly killer somewhere on the golf links of south Florida and the surrounding 'water-holes'. Where, The Juice, had spotted him some years back before his unlawful confinement by the racist police state of Nevada. 

Even as Mr. Simpson is preparing to continue his epic search for the owner of those now infamous gloves, there are other forces arrayed against.  Against the one who was perhaps the greatest football player and movie actor of all time.  It now seems that OJ, has become a target of ICE (Immigration and Customs Enforcement) who now claim that his distant ancestors entered this country illegally in the hole of a Portuguese Merchant Ship, that ran the British blockade somewhere off the West coast of Africa in the 18th Century.

All white Americans should be outraged at the treatment our black brother has been forced to endure and immediately go home and remove and burn the white robes and hoods they have hidden in their closet.  We must all show solidarity with 'The Juice' and help him sweep the Golf Courses of South Florida as well as the many watering holes along the beach in his quest for the real killer of Nicole Simpson and Ron Goldman.  
by Ron Russell

Saturday, July 22, 2017

Jew in Israel


A Jewish businessman in America decided to send his son to Israel to absorb some of the culture of the homeland. When the son returned, the father asked him to tell him about his trip. The son said, "Pop, I had a great time in Israel. By the way, I converted to Christianity." "Oy vey," said the father. "What have I done?" 

He decided to go ask his friend Jacob what to do. Jacob said, "Funny you should ask. I too sent my son to Israel, and he also came back a Christian. Perhaps we should go see the rabbi and ask him what we should do." 

So they went to see the Rabbi. The Rabbi said, "Funny you should ask.I too sent my son to Israel. He also came back a Christian. What is happening to our young people? 

Perhaps we should go talk to God and ask him what to do." The three of them prayed and explained what had happened to their sons and asked God what to do. Suddenly a voice came loud and clear from Heaven. The Voice said, "funny you should ask, I too sent my son to Israel..."
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Friday, July 21, 2017

Crocodile Returns Body Of Man He Killed Day Before After Village Asks Witch Doctor For Help

In Indonesia (you know, Obama’s vacation spot), a witch doctor performed a ceremony to get the body of a man back from a crocodile who had killed him. And guess what? It worked. The crocodile brought the body back to the shore so the men could retrieve it. Now, whether the entire story is true or not, I have no idea. But enough of it is, that it is seriously creepy. It’s bad enough that a croc killed this guy. But to obey a black wizard? Yeah… that’s the stuff of nightmares. 

The crocodile had just killed the man the day before. He was bathing in the river with friends when the croc snatched him. He was dragged to his death and drowned by a salt water crocodile. And they can get really big. They can reach almost 16.5 feet long in some cases. These are prehistoric animals with tremendous jaw strength and wickedly sharp teeth. The poor guy didn’t stand a chance.

"This is the astonishing moment a crocodile clutches a missing man in its jaws after a witch doctor claimed he summoned it to return the body. 
The missing man, identified as Syarifuddin, 41, was bathing in a river with friends when the beast pounced and dragged him beneath the water in Berau, Indonesia, on Tuesday at 6.20pm. 
Desperate relatives reportedly searched in vain for him and it was assumed that he had been taken into the depths of the Lempake River when police failed to find him. 
Villagers contacted a local black magic wizard who specializes in ‘crocodile witch craft’ and it’s claimed they cast a spell for Syarifuddin to be brought back alive. Incredibly, his body is said to have emerged yesterday morning."

Desperate relatives called the witch doctor and implored him to get their loved one’s body back. The wizard then cast a spell and claimed that is why Syarifuddin’s body was then returned. The victim was 41 and lived in Berau, Indonesia. This happened last Tuesday in the early evening. His relatives had been searching everywhere for him and feared the beast had taken him into the depths of the Lempake River, where he could be stashed for later dining. 

This wizard specializes in crocodile magic. The spell was meant to bring him back alive. I guess the croc missed that part of the memo. Too late for that. The odd thing is that the croc did not eat any of this guy. He brought him back intact. They say he did have injuries to his ribs on the right side, so maybe the croc took a taste and didn’t like the guy. Who knows?  Read more.....