Newsmax

Saturday, May 27, 2017

Former President Obama's small Plane comes under attack during low pass over remote Kenyan Village

Although those in the media are desperately trying to suppress this story nevertheless details are beginning to leak out.  Apparently, ex-president Obama and a cadre of close "clinger-on's" were on their way to visit a tribe, somewhere in the remote Kenyan countryside near Mt. Kilimanjaro when their small plane, Air Force 44, came under attack.  Apparently the restless natives were upset with the former president for not carrying out his campaign promises of:  "a chicken in every pot(a phrase stolen from a former racist FDR Democratic governor of Louisiana--Huey Long)" and "a goat in every outhouse(another stolen phrase, this time from the Taliban)."

Friday, May 26, 2017

Spare a Snowflake. Don't show him this graphic image!

Should you come across some snowflake 
who has ventured from his Utopian safe space, 
please show a little mercy and spare him from this 
graphic view of the real world.
********************
On a totally unrelated subject.  Ever wonder why UFO sightings are down?

Thursday, May 25, 2017

Breaking News: Secret Message President Trump left at Western Wall in Jerusalem

Many have speculated about the content of the message President Trump slipped into a small crevice during his recent visit to the Western Wall in Jerusalem. The mystery has been solved due to stealth actions of an unidentified source who apparently approached the Wall under the cover of darkness and retrieved the note to God.  Apparently Trump was asking for guidance in governing the nation.  Nothing news worthy here, but what was most shocking was the short note was written in Russian.  Leading some to speculate that Melania might have written the message since she does speak Russian.  But as you might think, this obvious explanation was quickly dismissed by those in the media.  After all, it would not fit their narrative.  Because everyone knows that Donald Trump is a closet Russian agent.  And was trying to pass a coded message to his Russian handler.

Wednesday, May 24, 2017

Kim Jong-un in tears after vaporizing Vladimir Lenin Statue in Seattle while nuking that city

Sources deep in a vast underground bunker some 2000' below what use to be Pyongyang the former capital city of the DPRK are reporting that beloved leader Kim Jong-un is in tears after learning that the 16' high statue of Vladimir Lenin was vaporized during his nuclear attack on Seattle, Washington.  In a speech to his few remaining followers, the "Dear Leader" has pledged to replace that symbol of the glories of communism when his grand army enters America and destroys the forces of Imperialism.
It is also being reported that a close advisor to Kim; who had dared to tell him, he nuked the wrong city and should have selected one in Texas instead of that bastion of commie progressives in Seattle, has mysteriously gone missing from the bunker.