Wednesday, September 17, 2014

President Obama, "EBOLA is not Islamic"

PRESIDENT OBAMA RECENTLY TOLD THE WORLD THAT ISIS/ISIL WAS NOT ISLAMIC.  ONE MUST WONDER IF THIS IS THE REASON HE KEEPS INSISTING THAT WE WILL PUT NO BOOTS ON THE GROUND IN SYRIA OR IRAQ.  IF IT IS SUDDENLY REVEALED THAT ISIS/ISIL IS INDEED AN ISLAMIC ORGANIZATION WOULD HE THEN PUT BOOTS ON THE GROUND OR PERHAPS STOP ALL AIRSTRIKES AGAINST THESE ENEMIES OF AMERICA. 
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Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Butch, the Rooster, wins "No Bell Piece Prize"

Fred was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young pullets and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs. He kept records, and any rooster not performing went into the soup  pot and was replaced. 
This took a lot of time, so he bought some tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a different tone, so he could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing. Now, he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report by just listening to the bells. 
 Fred's favorite rooster, old Butch, was a very fine specimen, but this morning he noticed old Butch's bell hadn't rung at all! When he went to investigate, he saw the other roosters were busy chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing, but the pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover. 
To Fred's amazement, old Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one. Fred was so proud of old Butch, he entered him in the Brisbane City Show and he became an overnight sensation among the judges. 
The result was the judges not only awarded old Butch the "No Bell Piece Prize," but they also awarded him the "Pulletsurprise" as well. 
Clearly old Butch was a politician in the making. Who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the unsuspecting populace and screwing them when they weren't paying attention.Vote carefully in the next election, you can't always hear the bells.  

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Monday, September 15, 2014

Brave Man Jokes

How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
Marry It! 

What is the difference between a battery and a woman? 
 A battery has a positive side. 

Why is the space between a woman's breasts and her hips called a waist? 
Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there.. 

How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good? 
Put a nipple on it. 

Why do women fake orgasms ? 
Because they think men care. 

What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes? 
Nothing, she's been told twice already. 

If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you done wrong? 
Made her chain too long. 

Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you. 

Why do women have smaller feet than men? 
 It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink. 

Why do men pass gas more than women? 
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure. 

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first ? 
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in. 

Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.. It's called a Wedding Cake. 

Why do men die before their wives? They want to.  

Friday, September 12, 2014

Liberals cling to their Obama Phones and Welfare Checks

SOMETIME BACK OBAMA ACCUSED SOME CONSERVATIVES OF CLINGING TO THEIR "GUNS AND BIBLES", BUT SAID NOTHING ABOUT LIBERALS CLINGING TO THEIR OBAMA PHONES AND WELFARE CHECKS.
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