President Robert Mugabe changes Zimbawe's Lion Hunting Regulations

FOLLOWING THE BEHEADING OF ZIMBAWE'S MOST BELOVED LION, CECIL; THE BENEVOLENT DEMOCRATICALLY ELECTED LEADER OF THAT AFRICAN NATION, ROBERT MUGABE, HAS ISSUED AN EXECUTIVE ORDER DECLARING THAT IN THE FUTURE ALL PARTICIPANTS IN LION-HUNTING SAFARI'S BE ARMED ONLY WITH WATER PISTOLS----WITH THE EXCEPTION OF AMERICAN BOY SCOUTS WHO ARE NOT ALLOWED TO CARRY SUCH DEVICES.  AT THIS TIME SOME 53 MEMBERS OF PETA HAVE SIGNED UP FOR THE FIRST SUCH SAFARI ALONG WITH AN UNDISCLOSED NUMBER OF MEMBERS OF THE ACLU AND THE DNC.

IT SHOULD BE NOTED  THE NRA (NATIONAL RIFLE ASSOCIATION) IS CO-OPERATING WITH PETA AND PLANS TO FUND 90% OF THE COST OF THIS EXPEDITION.  BUT AT THIS TIME NO MEMBERS OF THAT ORGANIZATION HAVE SIGNED UP FOR THE GRAND SAFARI.  THE MOTIVE OF THE NRA REMAINS SOMEWHAT UNCLEAR.  HOWEVER, SOME NRA MEMBERS WERE SEEN LAUGHING WHEN THEY EXITED AN EXECUTIVE MEETING OF THAT ORGANIZATION.  MEANWHILE IN WASHINGTON, PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA, HIMSELF, HAS INDICATED AN INTEREST IN JOINING THE FIRST SAFARI TO THE ZIMBABWEAN SAVANNAS.  ONE CAN ONLY HOPE!!!!!!!   

Mugabe's Lost Nephew

Zimbabwe International Library (Rioters) It was just yesterday that an important factbook was unearthed in this famous books outnumbered by comics library. The book was dated in 1920s and contains entries of genealogical importance. Mr. Onil Sakadas, a 45 year old, and a proud contractual employee at the library was the person who found the book. At first Onil thougt that the book was another special issue of Zimbabwean Playboy magazine because of the nude woman posing at the coverpage. Onil brought it to his secret room, to his astonishment he found out that it was the genealogical book of the Mugabe family. "It was written their the entries of genealogical history of the Mugabe clan. Written on the first page was the enscription 'Oh oh, Gah gah,' you might think they descended from gorillas" Onil said. Written on the book was the common ancestor of Barack Obama and Robert Mugabe, who is Isaac Mugabe. Isaac Mugabe begot Robert Mugabe and a daugther Anna Mugabe. In 1933, a disaster came to the Mugabe family. Anna Mugabe was reported lost, and was never found by the local Zimbabwean authorities. The family presumed Anna as dead. Unbeknownst to the family, Anna was traded to the U.S by illigal human trafickers. Anna found herself in suburban Chicago, and worked as entertainer, she later changed her name to Anana Mugabe. In 1968, Anana Mugabe married Cobden Obama the former negro butler of Adolf Hitler. Cobden was brought to the U.S by the project paperclip by the CIA and was granted amnesty during the post WWII. The family moved to Honolulu Hawaii and was blessed with a son, and named it Barack Mugabe Obama. On the other side, Robert Mugabe cannot be reached by a telephone for a comment.