Sunday, March 18, 2018

Holy Cross University to ban Crusader Knight as Macot, What's next? Changing it's name to "Holy Crescent"!!!

Holy Cross University will ban it's mascot.  The mascot was seen as a symbol of a Christian warrior in the Holy Crusades according to school administrators.  Kind of makes one will the school's name meet the same fate and become "Holy Crescent"!!!

Below is a time line on the events leading to the Crusades,  something progressive revisionist historians would rather forget:

Wednesday, March 14, 2018

Hillary Targets Married White Women while in India

Because we didn't make up the horrible, anti-American crap Hillary is spewing in the panels above. In India to promote her book "What Happened," Russia's favorite uranium saleswoman launched into this tirade to describe the millions of troglodytes who voted for Trump as hateful, misogynistic racists who would actually have to improve to be Deplorables.
Read more......

Monday, March 12, 2018

Senator Dianne Feinstein would ban hundred round capacity magazines for handguns

On March 1st of this year, Sen. Dianne Feinstein (D-Calif.) posted a Tweet stating "No one needs a hundred rounds for their handgun. Ban high capacity magazines. Reasonable gun reform NOW!" 

Note: This image is NOT Photoshopped! 

This 9mm Glock 100 round magazine has not even gotten an official patent, but it is available for sale online for $450.00. Ironically, the size and *ahem* shape of the magazine would make this gun extremely difficult to wield, rendering it much less dangerous than small-magazine alternatives. Furthermore, handgun magazines are easy to unload and replace, so banning high-capacity magazines would likely only make a small impact.
In response to Senator Feinstein's demand for banning 100 round magazines the NRA (National Rifle Association) has sent the Democrat Senator from California a traditional 6 round revolver.  No instructions were included in that the NRA recognized the Senator's expertise on handguns!  

Friday, March 9, 2018

'Little Rocket Man' blinks and will meet with Donald, no strings attached

Despite massive condemnation by those in the MSM about Trump's actions toward North Korea, the Donald has again proven his elite media critics wrong.  Yesterday, little Rocket Man begged for an audience with the world's most powerful head-of-state, Donald J. Trump.  The sanctions will remain in effect, no missile testing by North Korea, and joint military games with South Korea will continue.  Obama got the Nobel Peace Prize for just being elected president, one must wonder if Trump will be given one should he denuclearize the Korean Peninsular.   #MAGA

McDonalds Happy Male Salute to Opposite Sex on International Women's Day

McDonalds Happy Male

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, mcdonalds, women's day, arches, coffee couple
We don't even want to think about the "special sauce."
Yesterday was International Women's Day, which is a perfectly good thing considering how many countries treat their women like livestock, and their livestock like women (you do not want to be a goat in the middle east).

That being said, we found McDonalds' attempt to honor the day more than a little odd, per the cartoon above. Theoretically, the inverted arches form a "W" for "women," but those of a certain mind set (not necessarily a healthy or wholesome mind set) may see it differently. A perspective only encouraged by McDonalds' oft-repeated suggestion to "have it your way."

Still, we don't want to be spoilsports, so we'll acknowledge that McDonalds deserves at least a little credit for giving women the world over a reassuring pat on their sesame seed buns.
For more biting satire visit Stilton's Place!

Sunday, February 25, 2018

FBI appoints new Chief for it Tips Line Office

Following the disgusting lack of action by those at the FBI Tip Center at Clarksburg, West Virginia, FBI Director Christopher Wray after a nation wide search has selected Barney Fife of Mayberry RFD to be his new office chief.  When President Trump was asked about Wray's decision his only reply was, "anyone would be an improvement"!

Monday, February 19, 2018

Should the Native Americans of Columbus's day built a Wall to keep out Illegal White Hordes

If you've even been in the American West and on a Native Indian reservation you surely must realize it was the white man who screwed the Indians.  First he flooded into what was there country (sounds like illegal immigration).  And then to add insult to injury he pumped millions of dollars in the form of welfare into the reservations he had placed them on.  Making them absolutely dependence on the white man's benevolence in Washington D.C.  Does all this look familiar when you see today's America?  If not you are one of those uninformed ignorant Americans who will never learn from history because you don't know it.  And as the old saying goes, "those that don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it".
To bad the early Native Americans listened to the open borders leaders of that day.  They should have built the Wall!   

Thursday, February 15, 2018

Trump wants to slash food stamps and replace them with a 'TRUMP BOX'

Obama had his ObamaPhone; now Trump has his Trump Box.

We are surprised to announce that government services are expanding with the Trump Box: A meal delivery service for those who can't afford food. The goals of the Trump Box are to promote healthier eating, save money by purchasing food in bulk, and prevent fraud. When asked for a sample menu of what the non-perishable items may be, Trump's spokesperson provided this list, which sounds like an MRE from 1945: 

  Stale crackers Ramen noodles 
  An MSG packet 
  Can of sardines 
  Chopped meat spread 
  Brick dust 
  Dog food for granny, before she gets shoved off a cliff 
  Vitamin C tablets for scurvy 
  And a voter registration form, with Republican Party pre-marked.
Read more..... 

Tuesday, February 13, 2018

Obama Painter Kehinde Wiley Known For Portraying Black Heroines Decapitating White Women

Barack Obama unveiled his official portrait as painted by artist Kehinde Wiley at the Smithsonian's National Portrait Gallery in Washington DC on Monday. "Wiley typically portrays people of color posing as famous figures in Western art," the Portrait Gallery said of his work. "Through this practice, he challenges the visual rhetoric of power that is dominated by elite white men." "Barack Obama said he admired how Wiley's photos 'challenge our conventional views of power and privilege,'" NPR reports. Part of challenging the "power" of white people evidently involves angry black women decapitating white women, which Wiley has a fixation for:
Read more.....

Canadian Prime Minister would destroy 'Mankind'

During a recent speech, Canadian Prime Minister, Justin Trudeau announced he would no longer use the term 'mankind' and replace the word 'man' with people.  Kind of makes one wonder just how long this would be allowed by the other kooks on the left.  After all 'peoplekind' is not all inclusive and excludes billions of our winged and four-footed friends around the planet---let's just use the term 'animalkind' and be done with it.

The New Darling of the Elite Media: Kim Yo Jong, North Korea's leaders Sister

Finally those in the media have found someone among world leaders that hates Donald Trump almost as much as they do.  Kim Yo Jong, the sister to North Korean leader Kim Jong-un suddenly has been elevated by many in the press to 'Princess of Peace'.  Not since the days of Jane Fonda has such a woman burst on the international stage.  Rumors are flying that the Nobel Committee is considering  nominating Kim Yo for the Alfred Nobel Peace Prize!  This site is grateful to the all-knowing men and women of the press for opening the eyes of deplorable's in flyover country so they could see the beauty of this child of the North Korean Communist State. 

Coming soon: U.S. Military Parade in North Korea

President Trump has just requested the Pentagon give him plans for a grand military parade to honor the men and women of our Armed Forces.  Of course, as you might expect he was immediately attacked by the media and Democrats---I suppose this was just too damn patriotic for them. 

Personally, I think Trump should double down and instead of our troops and tanks marching up Pennsylvania Ave. in Washington D.C. have the parade in Pyongyang, North Korea.  This would also alleviate faux concerns of the D.C. city council that military tanks would destroy their streets.  After all, the roads of Pyongyang are much more suitable for such displays of military hardware.   

Trump's Grand Pyongyang Parade would be lead by a Jackass pulling a small cart with Kim Jong-un, in chains.  A very fitting end to 'Little Rocket Man', the leader of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea.  'Democratic People's Republic', damn sounds like a name provided by some modern day Democrat.
Please check out satirical remarks by Stilton on this subject!    

Saturday, February 10, 2018

White House Janitor accused of Assault on X-Wife, Dems call for impeachment of all Janitorial Staff

Apparently the "Me Too" movement now supersedes the individual's rights protected by the Constitution.  The Washington Post has revealed that a 64 old Black Janitor's ex-wife is now accusing the ageing man of sexual assault some 30 years ago.  Democrats in Congress are now calling for the impeachment of the entire Janitorial Staff of the White House. More.....

Tooth Fairy accused of sexually assaulting millions of children

Tooth Fairy accused of sexually assaulting millions of children, outs self as Transgendered Tooth Recovery Specialist

Hillary Clinton's 'Something Burger'

According to Fox News, “An FBI informant involved in the controversial Uranium One deal has told congressional committees that Moscow paid millions to a U.S. lobbying firm in a bid to influence then-Secretary of State Hillary Clinton by helping former President Bill Clinton’s charities during the Obama administration.”  Read more.....

Israel Puts Plans to Convert Al-Aqsa Mosque into a Katz’s Deli on Hold

After weeks of unrest in Jerusalem following rumors among Palestinians that the Al-Aqsa Mosque was in danger, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu announced that plans to convert the mosque into a Katz’s Delicatessen have been suspended indefinitely. 

“After a number of terrorists said their sole reason for stabbing random Jews in the street was that they felt Al-Aqsa was under threat, we decided now wasn’t the best time to announce that Islam’s third holiest site would be converted into a Kosher deli,” Netanyahu explained. “We’re going to wait until things calm down a bit.” 

Al-Aqsa is located on the Temple Mount, a site holy to both religions and a source of tension for close to 100 years. Recently, Jewish activists who have gone to the Temple Mount to pray have noted that there are no restaurants atop the holy site. 

“My religious experience of praying on the remains of the first and second temples doesn’t feel complete without a bowl of matzah ball soup afterwards,” explained activist Yehuda Glick, who has campaigned for Jewish access to the Temple Mount. 

While the deli would primarily cater to Jewish visitors, Netanyahu noted that Katz’s would be open to Muslims as well. 

 “I’m pretty sure all Palestinian opposition would disappear once they tried Katz’s world-famous pastrami on rye,” Netanyahu explained. “Muslims can eat pastrami, right?” Netanyahu would neither confirm nor deny reports that Israel planned to convert the Dome of the Rock to an H&H Bagels.  Thanks to The Mideast Beast

Is this a Racist Image

Now is this an offensive racist image?  
If a blackbird could speak he might say so!

Saturday's Girl Next Door

Just checked and I'm out of sugar.  
Wonder if I could borrow a cup from her?

How to spot a Floridian in Texas

This guy on a Galveston Beach is from Miami!  
Any questions?

Chain Migration: The Road to Destruction and Thrid World Status

This is exactly why the Democrats 
will never give up Chain Migration!

Young American Citizens are Dreamers too

The story you will never see on the MSM.  It just doesn't fit their narrative.  And now we're stuck with having to feed and cloth Hermilo for the rest of his life.  But they he did give the undertaker some business.  Build the Wall!

DACA, Slavery and Liberal Hypocrisy

Most liberal would support paying blacks reparations for the distant past because their great, great, great, great grandparents were plantation slaves.  In short they would have us pay for the sins of our fathers.  While at the same time they claim DACA kids are not responsible for their law-breaking parents.  WTF!

Building A Wall Will Violate The Rights of Millions of Illegals

The truth is Mexico and other Latin American Nations do not want to stop their citizens from coming to the USA.  They know that those who flock north to the unsecured border are in many, many cases criminals who are running from their own police or others who simply cannot make it in their own country. #buildthewall

DACA Kids: They are not all Rocket Scientist and Valedictorians

The shocking truth about those DACA kids is they are not all Valedictorians and rocket scientist as those in the liberal media would have you believe.  If fact, recent stats reveal they are some three times more likely to committee a felony than their citizen counterparts.  Of course you will never hear this from those in the MSM!

One big Turd for the Schiff-House

Adam Schiff is a member of the U.S. House of Representatives, but this astute Congressman spews as much stink as an old rural S*hi** House.  The liberal bottom feeders in the media lap his sh*t up!  A turd by anyother name is still a Schiff!  

Friday, February 9, 2018

Kim Jong-un on Launch Codes

Kim Jong-un: "What do you mean launch codes.  I don't need no stinkin' launch codes!"

Mueller Moves Goal Post

H/T to Terrell Aftermath
Don't you idiots know, it's all about winning!  
It's never how you play the game, 
but whether you win or lose that counts!

Three Cons in the Fountain

You know the above cartoon really says it all.....
Obama knew Hillary had an illegal, private ‘pay for play’ server and they both conspired to produce a false facts dossier on then presidential candidate Trump. The dossier was written with the help of the British spy and private investigator, Christopher Steele, whose anti-Trump bias was well known. He worked with his Russian operatives to produce a load of anti-Trump hogwash, long since proven to be nothing but lies. Steele was paid handsomely by Hillary to manufacture the dirt. Obama then used the dossier to obtain a FISA warrant, enabling him and his FBI cronies to spy on the Trump campaign.   More...

Why Trump should not sit down for Interview with FBI

H/T to Terrell Aftermath
Why is it that lying to the FBI is worse than lying to your wife, local police, or even God!  
Why the hell, are they so damn special!!!

COMEY: "Republican Memo No Big Deal"



H/T to The People's Cube

Somethings just go Better with Toilet Paper

A recent study by S.H.I.T. (Sam Houston Institute of Technology) revealed that the U.S. Capital Building had an astonishing 1431 toilets, but despite this was still unable to accommodate a conglomeration of the World's Biggest Assholes!   

Berkeley Coed gets Big Stiff One

 Tree-Hugging  University of California at Berkeley 
ANTIFA girl.

Better enjoy it girl.  
With the crowd you run with it's the last time you'll get a 
'big stiff one'!!!

Some Things you can't keep under Lock and Key

H/T to Terrell Aftermath
This time, it's the Democrats screaming 
'lock them up', 'lock them up'!!!

Why Nancy Pelosi must keep her 'Jaw in Motion'

Thanks to Stilton's Place
I can think of another way to keep her 'Jaw in Motion', however not sure I could stand 8 hours of it!!!

Thursday, February 8, 2018

Breaking News: Redacted Democrat Memo on Trump Dossier and FISA Court released by White House

After more than a full year of hearings we in the minority on the House Intelligence Committee have come to an indisputable conclusion that #Trump Sucks!  Furthermore that those Senior FBI agents presenting the FISA Court with evidence requesting surveillance on scurrilous deplorable members of the Trump Campaign are among the most trustworthy and honest public servants we have ever had before our committee.  #Trump Sucks!  Also, after months of investigation, we on the Committee has determined from unimpeachable Russian sources that were once proud members of the old USSR's KGB, that then citizen Trump and prostitutes, did indeed piss on a Moscow Hotel bed once used by former President Clinton#Trump SucksImpeach Trump!  And it should be noted that both candidate and President Trump are displaying all the characteristics of a Russian Agent as portrayed in the Manchurian Candidate#Trump Sucks!  This memo contains the truth and nothing but the truth, so help us Saul Alinsky.  

Wednesday, February 7, 2018

TOTUS: News, Satire, and Commentary. Updated Daily

Trump has asked the Pentagon to plan a 
grand parade of the U.S. armed forces

However we all know the reaction of the Democrats to Trump's plan to honor the men and women of the U.S. Military. They will call it a waste of money and compare it with military parades in Russia, China and North Korea. They will look for any reason to challenge Trump on this issue. After all, their forerunners were the college students and activist that spat on and cussed troops returning from the Vietnam War in the 1960's calling our young warriors "baby killers". Of course, times have changed and now this same crowd is forced to bite their tongues rather than express their true feelings toward Americans in uniform. Let's cheer the troops, rockets, and tanks as they parade down Pennsylvania Ave while stealth bombers and fighters overfly this grand parade as our brave troops march to John Philip Sousa's Stars and Stripes Forever. 
Read more..... 
White South African Farmers face Genocide while the Black Majority Government in Pretoria gives Tacit Support to it's Henchmen

Genocide in South Africa is becoming a fact of life with the white farmers in the Transvaal bearing the brunt of the attacks on what is seem by liberals as the most evil human to ever walk the face of the earth---THE WHITE MAN.  The successful removal of the white man from Zimbabwe to the North is almost complete.  Turning that once bread basket of Southern Africa into what many would call a vast wasteland with most of the people there facing starvation and becoming dependent on foreign aid coming from the developed world.  One would think their brothers to the south would learn from this.  But their hate for the white man has overridden whatever logic can be found in their  aboriginal minds.  But then one must give them credit in their effort to cover up the atrocities committed against unarmed white farmers---men, women and children.  While they are little-reported even within South Africa itself — the government directed police to stop releasing information about victims’ ethnicity in 2007 — one recent murder which made headlines was that of 64-year-old former pharmaceutical executive Sue Howarth, who was a British national.  
Read more.....
Just Leaked 'Democrat Rebuttal Memo'

We have just obtained a secret leaked copy of the Democrats rebuttal memo drafted to reveal the lies put forth in the purely fictional Republican memo on the FBI and the FISA Court.
President Trump invites members of the Elite Media 

to a Formal Dinner

In a bold move to quell the increasingly negative reports coming from those in the hate-Trump press. The President has invited members of the elite media to a formal (tuxedo only) dinner at an undisclosed location.
Read more..... 


Vladimir Putin uses trained birds of prey to take down drones sent by spies or ISIS and guard his Kremlin HQ

RUSSIAN strongman leader Vladimir Putin has specially trained birds of prey guarding his Kremlin HQ from drones, it's been revealed. The fortified seat of government in Moscow has long used birds of prey to chase away pesky crows.
Read more..... 


Voluptuous Blonde encounters over-sexed Bigfoot

On her first trip to the great American outdoors, a voluptuous city blonde goes on the deck of her remote wilderness lodge early one morning, just before her jog down the winding mountain path. For some inexplicable reason the young lady, decides to expose her bodacious ta ta's to the forest creatures below. 
Unbeknown to the titty flashing blonde, hidden eyes are watching from the forest floor. Hidden eyes, that focused squarely on the sensuous body of the young ripe blonde above.  
Read more if over 18.....


In a Daring Midnight raid on the Dumpsters outside 
Trump Tower reporters from the NYT dug up evidence 
Donald Jr. colluded with Russia
In a late night dumpster dive by reporters from the New York Times and CNN, 7 empty cases of Belver Bears Vodka valued at some $7,240 per bottle and 5 cases of Petrossian Royal Ossetra Caviar valued at $3,036 per can were found outside the residence of Donald Junior at Trump Tower. If is further being reported that the eldest son of President Trump had secret copies of what is soon to be, the banned film Doctor Zhivago, in a hidden vault at his Penthouse.
P.C. Bullies Claim Chief Wahoo’s Scalp
Another little piece of our culture is gone, erased because no one had the guts to stand up to progressive bullies. Based on the absurd claim that naming teams after Indians is somehow offensive, the militant liberals who run MLB have coerced Cleveland into dropping its beloved mascot Chief Wahoo.
Democrats call for increased importation of Haitian Guano

Following President Trump's statement on what he referred to as 'sh*thole' countries, Democrats are doubling down and demanding an increase in the importation of Haitian Guano.  Apparently Haiti and other third world sh*tholes are flush with an abundance of floating turds.  A recent comprehensive study at S.H.I.T aka Sam Houston Institute of Technology  has confirmed this. 
Read more..... 
With the Firing of Deputy FBI Director Andrew McCabe, Demolition of the Deep State has begun

With the firing of FBI Deputy Director, Andrew McCabe the fuse has been lite that will bring down the self-serving, un-American, Trump-hating Deep State. All patriotic citizens need to sit back and enjoy the demolition of our nation's Public Enemy No. 1!
Read more..... 
What should President Trump expect during an interview with Robert Mueller
On Wednesday from Switzerland, President Donald Trump told reporters that he was “looking forward” to speaking with Special Counsel Robert Mueller, that he “would love to do it,” and that “I would do it under oath”
Read more..... 
Apparently the farmers in central valley of California have had enough when it comes to the tiny Delta Smelt---a fish put on the endangered species list because of actions by environmental activist groups. As a result, the state of California has diverted millions of gallons of water from the farms in the Central Valley resulting in the closing of hundreds and bringing the unemployment rate to a high not seen since the days of the Great Depression.
Read more.....
Palestinian Authority Launches GoFundMe after US Aid Cuts
The Palestinian Authority has announced it will launch a GoFundMe page, after the U.S. State Department’s $80 million aid reduction and further threats from Donald Trump to cut all aid.

PA President Mahmoud Abbas decried the cuts. “After decades of brutal and humiliating occupation, this is a slap in the face of the Palestinian nation and will be devastating to its people. Our reduced circumstances will mean my new $13 million-dollar Presidential Palace will only have only one helicopter pad and no runway for my new $50 million private jet. Unacceptable!”
Road to World War III: 3 Iranian Missiles strike Saudi Aramco Oil Refinery near Riyadh

Day 1:   Reuters News Agency is reporting that 3 Iranian missiles have hit the massive Saudi Aramco Oil Refinery near Riyadh.   Reuters is further reporting that the Iranian "Shahab" missiles were launched from the base near Tabriz. The White House has just broken it's silence on the unfolding events in the Middle East, saying the two sides should explore all avenues for a peaceful solution! 
Day 1 + 4 hours:   A flight of some 22 Saudi F-15's flying out of Prince Sultan Air Base some 60 miles south of Riyadh has attacked the Iranian Naval Base at Bandar Abbas in the Straits of Hormuz.
Read more.....
Trump's SOTU Speech on Steroids

We all know, by this time, that our 45th President is a man that speaks his mind.  We have no idea what Donald may say at his SOTU speech.  You just have to follow the below link to see what, I suspect Trump will be thinking as he looks out at those gathered in the House chambers.
Wash Hands before Touching Exotic Robotic Pole Dancers

Finally Vegas strip clubs have solved that age old problem of customers groping the Pole Dancers.  Some Las Vegas gentleman's clubs are now featuring erotic robotic dancers.  Apparently, the only requirement is that potential male gropers wash their hands thoroughly upon entering the establishment.  
Read more..... 
Will Wooden Dildos replace Planet Destroying Plastic ones in California?

I'm old enough to remember the day when Paper Bags were condemned by those on the left as a 'real and present danger' to the forest of America.  At that time our astute neighbor to the south, Mexico was using those glorious plastic bags at the markets and tourist shops.  The Mexican Government was seen as the champion of the Green Movement.  
Shocking: California Plastic Surgeons report astronomical increase among women for Botox Butt Enhancement Injections

Just recently, it was reported that a number of camels in a Saudi beauty contest were disqualified after it was discovered their beauty was enhanced by Botox InjectionsRecently I visited the Golden State, specifically the Hollywood area and was quite shocked to see the women of Sunset and Vine had unusually large butts and lips.  My cousin, who I was visiting explained this abnormality noting that for some reason the women of tinsel town felt that inflated butts and lips made them more attractive to members of the opposite sex and likewise members of the same sex for those so inclined.
Read more..... 
  Shocking Explanation given by FBI for losing Trump Hating Lover's Text

What a tangled web we weave when first we try to deceive!
California Millennial's to Leave USA and Form new Nation of 'Safespaceistan'

Efforts by the residents of California to secede from the US haven’t yet received sufficient support to be realized. Consequently, a revolutionary group of Californian millennial's have decided to found their own country in unpopulated territory in Oman, near the Yemeni border.
Read more,,,,,,