Saturday, December 31, 2016

Are Democrats becoming the party of National Socialist (Nationalsozialistische)

During the election cycle many Democrats and they friends in the media often referred to Donald Trump as the second coming of Adolph Hitler.  This was a constant theme.  But it was Democrats not Republicans that nearly chose a self-described socialist as their standard bearer.  Matter of fact it was the party leaders and not the voters that selected Hillary.  The WikiLeaks email releases more or less confirmed this.  And don't forget just a few days ago the Obama Administration basically stabbed Israel in the back.  I have noticed for some time that many in the so-called progressive Democratic party have moved away from America's long standing support of the Jewish State, while at the same time sliding further to the left and embracing socialism. 
As best I remember those in the German Nazi party were referred to as National Socialist.  The current Democratic Party seems to be moving in that direction, while at the same time accusing those on the right of being dirty rotten stinking Nazis.  Guess they have become experts at Nazi identification---after all they do look into the mirror at least once daily.  Kind of makes one wonder if, subconsciously, they hate what they see!  After all, antisemitism and socialism are alive and flourishing in the Party of Barack Obama.      

Friday, December 30, 2016

Duck Dynasty Clan travels to Washington hoping to bag the Elusive Brown Crested Big-billed Lame Duck

The Good-ole-Boyz of the Duck Dynasty Clan are oiling their 12gauges and testing their duck-calls in eager preparation for the long-awaited opening day of the Lame Duck season in the nations capital.  They all hope to fill their bag limit, but the ultimate goal of each is to bring down that most elusive of all Lame Ducks, the rare Brown-crested Big-billed Quacker.  This domestic bird (well we're really not sure about it's origin), has eluded the nations most stealthy hunters for over 8 years.  This foul fowl Quacker is best known for silencing the quacks of others in the pond as he struts his stuff.  However, lately their seems to be a new Quacker on the block---do we dare call him Donald Duck.  At any rate the gold-crested Donald seems to have garnered the attention of most ducks in the pond---which are one by one are migrating toward the new "Drake of the Walk"!  For those who have never had baked wild duck, you may not be aware that quacker meat is all dark---nope, no white breast or wings.  But I would suspect that the meat from the brown-crested big-billed Quacker would be far  for most and would even present a challenge for the Clan from Louisiana.  I would humbly suggest that should they be fortunate enough to bag the big one they should have him mounted and placed on the bar facing a TV perpetually tuned to FOX News.

Thursday, December 29, 2016

John Kerry uses Caterpillar Dozer to reduce size of Fly Speck on Map of Middle East

In what could be called a "shades of Neville Chamberlain" speech, Secretary of State Kerry declared "Peace in our Time" if only greedy land-hungry Jews occupying ill-gotten lands of the West Bank, would return it to it's rightful owners.  Funny, I thought that to be Jordan.  However, it seems that even Jordanian King Hussein doesn't want it back.  But John Kerry, with the backing of President Obama, believes that peace will prevail in that region, if only the size of that hated fly-speck on the map (Israel) can be reduced.  Reduced even should it involve the use of a Caterpillar Dozer (United Nations).  Of course, we all know that in the final days of his Presidency Obama must point to something or someone for the total failure of his foreign policy---just look at Libya, Iraq, Syria, and Ukraine---so the reason for all his disgraceful blunders in that region is being placed squarely on the shoulders of Israel.  After all those in that nation are foolish enough to believe they can be both Jewish and democratic.  But secularist like both Obama and Kerry are grounded in the belief that Democracy and religion cannot co-exist as equals.  That is unless one is Islamic and most certainly not Jewish. 
Kerry would have Israel retreat to the existing border before the Six Day War of 1967.  A conflict between Israel and the 3 Arab states of Egypt, Jordan and Syria.  A war precipitated by the Egyptian blockade of the Straits of Tiran.  A move that denied Israeli shipping access to the Red Sea---Israel was not allowed to use the Suez Canal at that time.  Rather than have Israel withdraw to the existing borders pre-1967, why not do the historically correct thing and have Israel return to its 967 B.C. borders.

Wednesday, December 28, 2016

Would Obama be wise to Drone Mossad headquarters in Tel Aviv before leaving office

President Obama in his recent actions against the Jewish State of Israel, on the settlement issue,  apparently has forgotten that for some inexplicable reason the people of Israel have a long memory.  Maybe it has something to do with the Holocaust that resulted in the deaths of millions of their peoples.  Perhaps this would have explained the MOSSAD's (Israel's CIA---although less restrained) actions in Argentina in 1960, resulting in the kidnapping of Adolf Eichmann and his one-way ticket to Israel to face trial for crimes committed in the 1940's.  Then who could forget the events of the Munich Massacre, where Israeli athletes were killed by Palestinian Terrorist known as Black September.  Following that horrendous attack, it was the MOSSAD that tracked down these murderers---first Mahmond Hamshari, who was killed by a mysterious exploding telephone in his Paris apartment in 1972; followed by the death of Hussein Al Bashir in Nicosia, Cyprus who fell victim to an exploding bed.  The list of Terrorist, killed by the covert actions of MOSSAD is long and growing across the Middle East, Europe and North Africa.  Some however, including the current leader of the United States, seemed to have forgotten the lessons of the past. 
Lessons that should remind all that threaten the welfare and existence of the Jewish State that they take a perilous path filled with exploding phones and beds filled with soft and cuddly C-4 stuffing.  Stuffing that can be easily molded into most any shape.  Even that of a innocent-looking golf ball.  We all wish the best for all our presidents---both past and present.  And would hope that foreign entities would not take out their wrath on them whether justified or unjustified.  I suppose this post contains a bit of dark satire and is a little snarky in spots. But I do wonder if soon-to-be ex-president Obama, realizes he has poked a hornet's nest when he virtually slapped Israel in the face over the settlement question.  This makes me wonder if Obama is considering droning MOSSAD headquarter before leaving office on January 20, 2017!   

Tuesday, December 27, 2016

Taco Smugglers flee Southern Border as Trump prepares to Deploy "Super Eagle"!

Reports coming in from Brownsville, TX on the Gulf of Mexico to Tijuana, Mexico (home of the infamous "girl and donkey show" and watered down tequila shots), reveal that tens of thousands of Taco Smugglers are fleeing south for the perceived safety of the Sierra Madre Mountains.  Apparently the word has leaked, that following his inauguration as President of the United States, Donald Trump plans to immediately deploy a new and terrifying WMD specifically designed to not only interdict, but totally neutralize (on a permanent basis) any and all Taco Smugglers found near the site, of the soon to be built Great Wall of Trump.  When asked about this ominous development, sources inside the Trump administration, did not deny the existence of the secret WMD.  But were adamant in their declaration, "that although some domestic Tacos would be tolerated, in the future all imported Tacos would be banned".    

On a somewhat related note, Mexican President Enrique Pena Nieto, speaking from the Palacio Nacional (National Palace) in Mexico City said he is ordering the deployment of a squadron of "Jalapeno F-01's", his nation's newest air force planes to the southern border to insure there are no violations of Mexican air space by Yankee imperialist from the north.  Rumors, that have yet to be confirmed, are reporting that President Trump could not restrain his laughter when confronted with this Lilliputian-like move by the Mexican president.

Monday, December 26, 2016

Following Trump inaugration United Nations Headquarters move to Zimbabwee

After stabbing Israel in the back with the complicity of the Obama administration the Republican controlled Congress passed a bill quickly signed by President Donald Trump that withdraws the 25% cost of maintaining the United Nations Building in NTC.  A building that sits on prime land in the Big Apple.  After going into the emergency secession following this action by Congress member states voted to move their headquarters to Zimbabwe.  Apparently this was the only location in the world where they could afford the rent, since they no longer had a sugar-daddy in the person of America.  The Trump kids, who now control the vast empire of Donald quickly recognized the opportunity afforded by this piece of prime real estate coming on the market could not let this bargain slip away and made an offer that was accepted by the consortium which had a controlling interest in this grand structure on the East River.  Proud of their newest acquisition the Trump children placed their father's logo on the once despised symbol of multi-multiculturalism and globalism.  Already members of the NYPD have been applauding the exit of the UN. 
Stating that the tens of thousands of parking citations issued for illegal parking by foreign diplomats around the former United Nations Building had never been paid and the prospects of that happening were more likely than a virgin birth in the city.
Meanwhile in Zimbabwe, the land of the most honored of African despots,  President Robert Maugabe, the United Nations will soon open it's new headquarters.  Just as quickly as they get the chicken shit off the floor. 

Saturday, December 24, 2016

America's First Christmas Gift from George Washington

On Christmas day 1776 the Continental Forces lead by their commander, George Washington cross the frozen Delaware River and and win a resounding victory at Trenton, NJ.  Changing the course of the war and eventual leading to victory over the British.  One could easily call this America's first Christmas Gift.  Merry Christmas everyone and never, never forget those who gave their fortunes and even their lives so that you may exercise those freedoms we all hold so dear.

Friday, December 23, 2016

Sanctuary Cities brace for a new Sheriff in Town

This poor hombre is oblivious to the fact that a new sheriff is coming to town.  Hope he still has a house down south.  Most are unaware, that Mexico has a policy of burning down the shacks of those who fail to pay taxes.  Here we give them welfare and all kinds of free stuff----hell every day is like Christmas.  Yea, Juan the free ride is over---time to get off or get kicked out.

Thursday, December 22, 2016

Trump 45 Malt Liquor and Chicken Wings sent to inner cities for Inauguration

President Elect Donald Trump has commissioned the production of some 500,000 bottles of his new "TRUMP 45" Malt Liquor.  The first batch of what he has labeled as the world's greatest brew, along with thousands of buckets of Kentucky Fried Chicken wings will be distributed in designated cities on January 20, 2017 to celebrate the inauguration of the nation's 45th president, Donald J. Trump.  Additionally, and breaking with established tradition, the Trump Inauguration Committee has announced Inaugural Balls celebrating this greatest of all events, be held not just for the elites in Washington circles, but for those in the inner city as well as the patrons of Billy Bob's Road House.  Of course at Billy Bob's, Budweiser's will replace the "Trump 45"!

Why Rednecks love Donald Trump

Lot of truth in the above meme.  If you are one of those true patriotic Americans that was born with a shotgun in one hand and a skinned possum in the other you understand the meaning of the above.  If, on the other hand, you've been glued to the east coast or west coast and know little about the heartland and the music of the redneck----well what can I say?  You are just one of those poor souls that will never fully understand the meaning of what I comprehend.  So don't try!!!!

Wednesday, December 21, 2016

Michelle Obama lectures Americans on Hope

In a recent interview, the soon to be former first lady, Michelle Obama seemed to imply that when her hubby left the White House that would mean an end to hope in America.  Funny, but it seems to me that would mean the beginning of Hope after wondering in the wilderness for 8 long years.  Hey!  Wasn't it Michelle who said her first time to be proud of this country was the day Barack was elected president.  Kind of makes one wonder if she hated the country of her birth until that day.  After all, she did sit in the pews of Rev. Wright's church.  And remember Wright's primary teachings to his flock was his disgust with this nation.  Wasn't it the most reverend Wright that said, "America's chickens have come home to roost" when talking about the 9/11 attack in New York.  The truth is Michelle, "I've been hoping for change and finally after 8 years I have it".  And by the way lady, I've always been proud of my country, but not all it's leaders, including soon to be ex-president Barack Hussein Obama.
Wonder just how long I'll have to wait for President Trump's first apology tour following his inauguration?  Better now hold my breath!!!!    

Tuesday, December 20, 2016

Border Jumpers arrive before Wall built

When old Christopher arrived on the shores of America he found no Trumpian Wall restricting what would be a vast westward migration of the white man to the west and eventually the Pacific Ocean.  This of course, was not the white man's fault, but that of the Native American's open border policy.  A policy that would eventually see them placed on land unfit for anything except teepees and eventually tar-paper shacks.  However, it should be noted that, the Native American Indian has been able, despite the efforts of white-man, to maintain their beloved outdoor toilets.  One need only visit a reservation to see these proud relics of days gone by.  A philosopher, once said, the saddest words ever spoken were "what might have been".  I would suspect, the Native America just might agree.  Once again, America needs that wall.  A wall that must be built unless we go the way of the America Indian and become "strangers in our own land"!  

Monday, December 19, 2016

Christmas Card to Alt-Right Deplorables

You can have the Turkey and Stuffing!  
I got Trump and a fifth of Crown Royal.   
Merry Christmas!!!!

Sunday, December 18, 2016

Which came first, The Chicken or the Egg --- age old mystery solved

After years of disappointing studies by top researchers at S.H.I.T. (Sam Houston Institute of Technology), two dedicated staff interns assigned to the "Which came first, the Chicken or the Egg project" solved the perplexing problem.  Apparently the two young enthusiastic researchers locked themselves in a lab closet and after just one brief minute of probing inquiry found the answer to this age old question.  

Saturday, December 17, 2016

American News Media fall under influence of Svengali-like Russian Hackers

Vladimir Putin inspired Russian hackers, have succeeded beyond their wildest dreams.  These contemporary nerds, as it turns out, are more like modern day maleficent Svengali's in asserting their manipulative influence on the American Media and not the unsuspecting masses who were their original  targets.  It is becoming increasingly clear that it has been those in the hallowed halls of media corporate board rooms that have succumb to what has become the most persuasive factor of this recent election.  It has been the media and not the public that has taken the bait offered by the Boyz in the Kremlin.  Perhaps, the Russian Hackers provided a service to us, by not only exposing the truth about the Democratic Party and it's corruption but the rampant out-of-control bias within the media.       

Friday, December 16, 2016

Doing a complete 180 turn Obama approves massive East - West Pipeline

After moving heaven and earth to stop construction of pipelines across the nation, suddenly the Obama administration has taken a complete 180 degree turn.  Obama has just asked Congress to approve the construction of a 3000 mile long pipeline connecting the east and west coast.  Tears of laughter were seen on the right side of the aisle as Nancy Pelosi introduced this new legislation in the House of Representatives. Some conservatives members of Congress have refused to consider this measure during the Lame Duck session of Congress, despite the desperation expressed by those on the left claiming their constituents were in dire need of immediate relief brought on by the events of the 2016 elections.  It seems that the Prozac plant recently built near Chicago to lessen the fears of the public due to the alarming increase in the rate of air-borne lead poisoning is now being expanded to deal with the worsening situations on both coast.  Hence, the need for a efficient means to transport this life-saving chemical to those in need. 

Tuesday, December 13, 2016

The New York Times purveyor of half-truths and Fake News

When a newspaper splatters it's bias interruption of the news across the front page, in attempt to sway public opinion, instead of confining it to the editorial section; 
they might just as well place a huge image of 
"Barnyard Cake with Chicken Roost Filling" 
with the caption 
"Try it you'll like it" 
beneath it, above the fold.

Monday, December 12, 2016

Democrats upset because Russians revealed truth about Hillary and DNC corruption

If indeed, the Russians and not some 400 lb China man eating chop suey in a pagodas in Beijing, were responsible for hacking the DNC and the Hillary campaign they should be given a medal for exposing the rampant corruption in those two groups.  And less we forget, they tossed in the corrupt media for good measure.  

Sunday, December 11, 2016

Are Progressives attempting ot turn America into a Matriarchal Society

Do progressives have, shall we call it, a stealth agenda for turning America into a Matriarchal society.  While women are destined for fight in a combat role in the armed forces, at the same time we are breeding a generation of cream puff males at our universities.  Men, at least they call themselves that, who will not take the responsibility of raising a family.  Men (the vast majority) who will not lift a finger to fight for the nation's security.  Men, who in fact, are afraid to touch that terrible thing call a gun. 
While on the other hand, women are picking up the weapons of war to fight America's enemy----one might say, modern day Amazons!  On a personal note:  My father in addition to being a teacher was also a barber.  Remember those days when you could visit the local Barber Shop and always hear the latest non-politically correct joke from the man behind the chain.  I'm quite confident that women had the same experience at their neighborhood Beauty Salon!  Now however, if as a man, you visit that same Barber Shop----guess what?  Only women behind the chairs.  No more male orientated jokes or stories about that great fish that got away.  Puff---like magic--it's all gone.  Something is afoot in this nation and I for one fear the end result.

Friday, December 9, 2016

Biggest Fake News Story of 2016: "Hands Up Don't Shoot"

The biggest and by far, the most widely reported fake news story of 2016 was one that came out of the tiny Missouri town of Ferguson.  It was a story that had it's authenticity question by some from it's very birth, but a story quickly accepted as the gospel by news outlets from coast to coast.  It was a story, that just had to be true, because after all, it fit the narrative of contemporary Fabulist.  Fabulist, who have been given the title of news reporters and the credentials to prove it. These reporters quickly embraced a story coming out of Ferguson.  A story that had as its unlikely victim one Michael Brown.  A gentle giant who had been accused of stealing a small pack of cigarillos from a local convenience store, after which he was unjustly accosted by a jack-booted racist white police officer who shot the poor black young man in the back as he was attempting to surrender.  This fable, this fake news story, spread like a wild prairie fire across the nation.  This "tale", and it was just that, lead to the deaths of police officers in NYC, Dallas, and Louisiana and the birth of a true race hating group who  dared to call themselves, "Black Lives Matter"!  

Today, Democrats seem to have an almost orgasmic like experience when pointing out fake news stories coming from sources like right wing blogs.  Sites they would love to have shutdown by their mighty internet allies on the "left coast".  But they remain strangely silent when it comes to the biggest fake news story of the year.  The discredited story of the poor young black man, Michael "hands up" Brown shot on the streets of Ferguson, Missouri by a racist white storm trooper.     

Thursday, December 8, 2016

EPA to Initiate Actions of Bear Poop

After an exhaustive study, at a cost of 5 million dollars, to the American taxpayers the EPA has just announced they have found the reason for the shrinking wild rabbit population.  It now appears that global warming has brought about a decrease in tree foliage resulting in fewer leaves on the forest floor.  This extreme environmental  condition has forced both the Grizzly Bear an well as his smaller black bear cousins to resort to a unnatural act following their morning constitutionals.  Bureaucrats at the EPA are looking at two possible solutions to prevent this rabbit holocaust.  They would import massive numbers of leaves from forest areas yet to be effected by man-caused defoliation or else send animal trainers to the remote forest areas armed only with multiple rolls of Charmin and train the bears to perform the unnatural act of wiping their butts.  As of this time no animal trainers have volunteered for this assignment.
Satirical fiction, of course.  But not as strange as the actually regulations coming out of the, all too real, Environmental Protection Agency.  Regulations, that are about to experience sweeping changes under the Trump Administration.  No longer will the minnow-like Delta Smelt be given preference over water rights in California's central valley while farmers see their lands dry-up and blow away.  No longer will a single pair of Spotted Owls  be allowed to destroy the livelihood of hundreds of  lumber-jacks in the great Northwest.  Times are a changing, and the panty waist keyboard tickler's need to suck it up and get use to the new reality.    

Kingdom of the Delta Smelt

Wednesday, December 7, 2016

Harvard Coed blames Trump for destroying her dating life

A young Harvard Coed and Hillary supporter, who shall remain anonymous, blames President elect Donald Trump for destroying her dating life.  This young woman claims that all the real men of campus were Trump supports and that her pool of likely candidates for a date partner now only contains diaper wearing "safe space" freaks and others of undetermined sex.  The poor girl is at her wits end and declares if no relief can be found she will have to give in to her latent lesbian tendencies.  She simply cannot understand why all the hot men on campus go around wearing those obscene red ball caps.  The only advice I have for this unfortunate girl is just get a vibrator.  Of course, this is just a satiric fictional account of a young woman found all too often on the campuses of academia.       

Sunday, December 4, 2016

Santa Trump to bring Lumps of Coal to Democrats on Christmas Eve

After long and methodical deliberations Donald Trump and his closest advisers have decided on the perfect gift for those Democrats who not only supported Hillary, but called him and his supporters every derogatory term in the dictionary during the election.  They determined that perfect gift to be the one thing that environmental wacko's hated most.  The one thing that, in their minuscule minds, threatened the very existence of mankind.  That terrible black substance mined from the bowels of the earth---- 

Already, the Trump organization is setting up hugeeee distribution centers in the large cities and near university safe spaces to insure delivery on Christmas eve of this most hated substance and progressive symbol  of "man's inhumanity to man".  Merry Christmas to all and be assured it will be a Happy New Year with Barack gone from the White House.  Best present this ole fart ever got!     

Friday, December 2, 2016

Plans for Trump inspired Border Patrol Vehicle leaked to Media

Protest are breaking out in sanctuary cities as secret plans for a Trump inspired Border Patrol vehicle are leaked to the press.  However, many Trump supporters are voicing their disappointment and calling for an additional 50cal Machine Gun to be mounted on the rear.  Meanwhile, the southern border in being overrun by criminals from the south trying to get into the land of Milk and Honey, before the new vehicles are deployed along the border.  Sources also reveal that each of these new vehicles will carry service dogs specifically trained to detect bean farts.  The reason for this remains unclear to some, but frequent travelers to Mexico seem to appreciate the value of such animals.  

Thursday, December 1, 2016

Liberal Democrat Laments death of Somalian Terrorist at Ohio State University

This poor lady, just has to be a liberal democrat.  One must wonder what her twitter response would have been had the perpetrator been a white man raised by gun-toting, Bible-clinging parents!  Without a doubt she would be ranting about his racist Christian religion upbringing and place the blame squarely on the gun knife and his religion.  Because after all, we all know that Islam is a religion of peace---Heck, Obama and others have reminded us again and again about this.   Why do they feel the need to continually drive this point home?