Friday, September 30, 2016

Trump, Alicia Machado, Sex Videos and Lies

At the last debate Hillary Clinton went deep into Donald Trump's past and was able to come up with a unsubstantiated account of what he said to a former Miss Universe from the 1960's.  According to Alicia Machado, Miss Universe from Venezuela, Donald once called her Miss Piggee because she gained over 60 lbs while wearing the Miss Universe Crown.  Of course Hillary would never dare tell you excessive weight gain was was forbidden in her contract during the one year period she wore the crown.  Following the debate, the Hillary campaign had Miss Machado primed and ready to hit the stage with with her charges from 20 years ago.  Charges that, in no way, could be substantiated.  However, I would like to ask Miss Machado, if she managed to kill the Venezuelan, Judge Maximilano Fuenmayor who had indicated her boy friend as she publicly threatened to do.  I would also like to ask her if she enjoyed making those steamy sex tapes.  And on a somewhat related note, I would really love to ask Hillary Clinton if she regretted dragging the name of those women, (who accused hubby Bill of improper sexual advances, including rape), through the mud.  And no she wasn't protecting Bill, but protecting the only man who could provide that stepping stone necessary to ensure her political aspirations!  In short, Hillary is unfit to hold any public office---and most certainly not the presidency.     

Wednesday, September 28, 2016

Astute Scientist tell us no two Whale Flukes are Identical

Damn, suddenly I feel the urge to read all those scholarly papers on global warming---after all the boys from M.I.T. must know it all.  Just like the scholars at the University of Florence were absolutely sure Christopher Columbus would meet his demise should he sail too far west and fall off the earth.   Or perhaps I should just venture down to Bubba's Road House to get the real scoop!

Who is this this Mystery Woman?

And don't ask Bubba either!  
He doesn't know.

Monday, September 26, 2016

Presidential Debate - Pigeon vs. Falcon and Hillary's changing email scheme

Numerous reliable reports are coming in that Hillary Clinton has developed a severe case of emailphobia and is now using large numbers of carrier pigeons for her most secret communication with the Obama White House and numerous other unsavory characters in her inner circle.  The feeling in the Clinton camp is there is no possible way to hack into these secretive documents by using this dated, but time-proven means of communication.

However, it should be noted that some low-flying helicopter pilots  in New York City have reported seeing some unusual cages atop Trump Tower.  After a closer inspection, these pilots observed the cages to be filled with what looked like Peregrine Falcons.  Birds of Prey, considered to be a pigeon's worst enemy.  As of this time Trump as not commented on this ominous development!

One must wonder who will be the Pigeon and who will be the Hawk in tonight's Presidential Debate!


Today's Bonus

One must wonder just how many drinks Hillary will have before hitting the stage this evening.  Of course Donald Trump is a teetotaler!  Regardless, it will be quite the show!

Sunday, September 25, 2016

Washington State Mall Killer a Turkish Immigrant - Act of Islamic Terrorism?

The shooter at the Burlington Mall in Washington State where 5 innocent victims were shot and killed as been taken into custody and identified as 20 year old Arcan Cetin, a Turkish immigrant.  When the early reports of the multiple shootings at the mall were reported the killer was thought to be Hispanic according to some in the media.  The story, of what is very possibility a terrorist related act has been swept from the headlines by the upcoming Presidential Debates between Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton.  It should be noted here, that in the past early reports by those in the media have been very reluctant to label such attacks as Islamic Terrorist.  And usually those in the media as well as government officials, will only admit terrorist involvement when the emerging evidence finally forces them recognize the reality of the facts.  It appears, that in certain political circles, to admit terrorist acts is akin to slapping Barack Obama in the face.  Over these past few years the current administration in Washington has often moved heaven and earth to avoid labeling a terrorist act, just that---a terrorist act.  Waiting to see how the killing of these 5 people will be classified by those in authority in Washington State?   


Your eyes and ears should tell you what you saw in the Presidential Debate, not the Media Spin

Hillary and Trump heading to the debate stage--Funny!  But seriously, many have already picked the winners of tomorrow night's debate.  You can safely bet that most liberals have crowned Queen Hillary as the victor, while referring to Truth as the vanquished.  On the other side of the coin, conservatives will be quite sure Trump stuck it to Secretary Clinton (but not literally).  And you can equally be sure that CNN, MSNBC, ABC, NBC, CBS and PBS will all turn in score cards that show the woman from Chappaqua as the clear winner.  The results coming in from FOX News will be mixed with some pundits coming down on the side of Trump while others will declare Hillary the winner.  My advice to all that watch Monday night's debate is simple---don't let someone tell you what you saw with your own eyes and heard with your own ears.  They will both be speaking in English so most Americans don't need a translation. 
Also posted at OBAMA CARTOONS

Not only does Hillary carry Tabasco sauce in her purse, 
Damn, wonder if she will start eating chicken wings 
and washing them down with Malt Liquor, 
in stead of that awful Beluga caviar and French champagne!

Friday, September 23, 2016

"Boyz n the Hood" reject Barack Obama's membership Application

Some contemporary history researchers have determined that at one time in his youth, Barack Obama's request for membership in the "Boyz n the Hood" was rejected by it's Los Angles Chapter because of his half-cracker heritage and pussy-like hand gestures.  A rejection, that left the Hawaiian-Kenyan no other choice, but a hasty retreat to nearby Occidental College located between Pasadena and Glendale.  Once at Occidental, Barack quickly found that most of his professors embraced the same philosophy that originally drove him to the hood.  It was there, that the young Hilo surfer or spear-tossing Kenyan, if you prefer; had to prove his hate for America and authority to Saul Alinsky, wannabe professors.

Years later Barack Obama took the helm of the nation, but as
one just might expect he brought to the nations highest office the same values and beliefs that his beloved professors at Occidental had instilled in him.  Beliefs that have guided him for the last 8 years as president.  Beliefs that have led him to embrace the actions of the mob in the streets.  Beliefs that have caused him to distrust the actions of law-enforcement across the nation.  Deep seeded beliefs, that are embedded in his DNA.  Beliefs that tell him police are evil racist and therefore should all be taken to task, and either eliminated or re-indoctrinated so their values can equate with the "mob in the streets"!  Sadly, Barack Obama is not just one of the "Boyz in the Hood" but has far exceeded his life long ambition of joining the Hood, by becoming their De facto leader.
Also posted at OBAMA CARTOONS  

Today's Bonus

Thursday, September 22, 2016

The Commonality of Malt Liquor, Chicken Wings, Tree-huggers, Racists, Hillary and Election Season

Have you ever noticed that during the election season, for some inexplicable reason the racist population in America suddenly mushrooms.  And suddenly without warning, tree-huggers emerge from the sprawling canyons of the metropolis telling us to watch our carbon footprint while they fly private jets across America spewing their lunacy.
At the same time the increased sale of malt liquor and chicken wings brings about a greater demand for home security systems, burglar bars and fire extinguishers.  It is also at this time of contagious  craziness, that the number of homeless soars to an unacceptable level and the man on the street is bombarded with venomous missiles hurled by
politicians like Hillary Clinton and her co-conspirators at the opposition because they have nothing but the charge of racism to offer the public.  The commonality of these events has become part of the domestic landscape.  A landscape, that can only be changed by the average John Doe and the firm hand of a strong leader sitting in the Oval Office.  

Wednesday, September 21, 2016

Police shoot black man media cries racism, terrorist kills Americans the matter under investigation

Yesterday in Charlotte, NC a armed black man was shot by police after he refused to obey police orders and apparently presented a threatening profile.  Following the shooting a mob (and they can be described in no other way) began touting officers and destroying property, including police cars in the area.  Later the mob moved to a local interstate, blocking it and looting trucks that were stopped.  Some 18 officers were injured by flying missiles.  The mob and the media have a commonality in this event, with both quickly pointing a condemning finger at the police, before the facts were even known. 
Now contrast this with the recent terrorist act in NYC, were the mayor and other top officials twisted themselves into pretzels trying to avoid the phrase that liberals most hate----ISLAMIC TERRORISM!  And, of course, most in the media refrained from calling the act what it clearly was, except for a few brave souls like Donald Trump.  However these voices were quickly condemned as reactionary and Islamophobic by progressive elitists and their fellow travelers.  Clearly, there is a double standard here by those who are (perhaps inadvertently---just giving them the benefit of the doubt) carrying  water for the street mob and the head-hunters in Raqqa!   

The media only shows us what they want us to see!

Tuesday, September 20, 2016

Placement of the Hillary Clinton Monument in Washington D.C.

Following the completion of the Hillary monument the decision of where to place it in the Washington D.C. Hall of Fame presented a problem.  Obviously it was not proper to place it beside the statue of George Washington, who never told a lie, or beside her husband William J. Clinton, who never told the truth, since Hillary could never tell the difference.

Finally, after careful deliberation, it was  decided to place it beside Christopher Columbus, the greatest Democrat of them all.  He left not knowing where he was going, and when he got there he did not know where he was.  He returned not knowing where he had been, and did it all on someone else's money.

Today's Bonus

Does anyone think it strange that while progressives point out the wonders of the animal kingdom, they seemed to have learned nothing from it.  Take the great African Hornbill, a pair mates and then find a hollow tree.  The females goes inside and then the male builds a wall around the entrance leaving only a small opening to feed the female and the young when they hatch.  The protective wall is only removed when the young inside have matured well enough to care for themselves.  Of course those on the left have failed to learn this simple lesson of nature.   And instead of building a wall to protect our own, will instead construct legal walls around so-called sanctuary cities to protect the interlopers therein.  So in reality the left is not against walls, but instead build them to protect sneaky predators who have found their way into the nest!  The progressive left instead of protecting the natural order of things, are in effect tossing the baby seal to the Orca! 

Monday, September 19, 2016

Hillary Rodham Clinton awarded Alfred Nobel Truth Medal

In a totally predictable move, the Nobel Prize Committee meeting in Stockholm, Sweden has awarded Hillary Rodham Clinton their most prestigious award---the coveted Alfred Nobel Truth Medal.  Also, at this time, the Committee is searching for Ahmad Khan Rahami aka NYC Bomber so he can be awarded the top scientific prize for his ground-breaking work on modern pressure cooker design.  These two Americans will join such past winners as Professor "Iknow Moore", Dean of Economics at Harvard for his outstanding contribution in establishing uniform standards for "freight rates across the anthill", and renowned sociologist, Inyour Heade for his efforts to send "convicts on a worldwide cruise" and his best-seller book entitled "Arabs Kissing Jews"!  OMG!  It is a mad, mad, mad, mad, mad world!

This will also be posted at Obama Cartoons      

Sunday, September 18, 2016

Tale of two Views

Last night there was a large explosive device (in short, a bomb) detonated in New York City.  The major of that city, Bill de Blasio, was quick to tell (what he must consider a dumb public) that although this was an intentional act, there was no evidence of terrorism.  Shortly after the explosion Donald Trump declared the explosion was a bomb and the act (although the source is unknown at this time) was an act of terrorism.  Then of course, we heard the same liberal account coming from the media (don't believe your lying eyes, but what we tell you).  Then those in the MSM went on to tell us that Donald Trump jumped the gun and the terrorist only did this because they are losing ground in the Middle East (what did they just admit the act was Islam inspired).  It appears to this observer, that it's the media getting their wires crossed, because the terrorist aren't!

Media:  "To all you Trump supporters out there, if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck it ain't a duck.  Just another example of workplace violence or right wing extremism!"

Saturday, September 17, 2016

Hillary Clinton opposes open carry laws, while surrounded by concealed weapons

While Hillary Clinton would have you believe that she strolls around streets freely with no guns in site we all know that the young men sporting those Armani suits are armed to the teeth.  At the same time, the "Queen of Lies" proudly pronounces her opposition to open-carry laws and also conceal-carry laws across the nation.  Seriously Hillary, at least require that those bodyguards surrounding your person to wear their weapons openly so Americans can actually see you care more about your personal safety than theirs.  But then, as with your personal email server, I suppose you just can't help hiding the truth from the people.  After all we are just too damn stupid to comprehend the meaning of what you understand.

Friday, September 16, 2016

The Great Trump Hair Escapade (Harriest Campaign in History)

Finally we get to see a candidate that not afraid to show us what he looks like in the morning after getting out of bed.  Not only has he done that, but he has given his weight.  Now I'm waiting to see Hillary with her hair down and provide us with that secret no woman wants to reveal----her weight.  The new gender neutral society demands of the progressive left requires that Hillary release her weight records.

Today's Bonus
Reporter:  "President Trump, after only one day in office, can you tell us where Raqqa, the ISIS capital is?"
Trump:  "Nope, but I can tell you where it was!" 

Thursday, September 15, 2016

WTF: Mexico got our Auto Jobs and we got their Dirty Water

Earlier this evening was watching a Trump rally in Ohio.  He had spent the first part of the day visiting in Flint, Michigan.  In the speech he hit a nerve with this viewer when he said, "remember when cars were made in Flint and you couldn't drink the water in Mexico.  Now cars are made in Mexico and you can't drink the water in Flint.  Just today, Ford announced it was moving a substantial part of their manufacturing operation to Mexico.  It's time to repeal or drastically modify NAFTA and bring back good jobs to America.  Vote Trump in 2016 to make "America Great Again"!

Today's Bonus

Hillary Clinton the Reincarnation of Marie Antoinette

Hillary Clinton with a statement against Trump supporters she called Deplorables has inadvertently started a movement that will sweep even more people to the polls to support the leader of the Deplorable Movement, Donald Trump.  In effect, Hillary has proved to be the second coming of Marie Antoinette, who during the French Revolution uttered those famous words defaming those in the revolution---"Qu'ils mangent de la brioche" translated: "Let them eat cake"!  Gee do you think Hillary will go the way of Marie?

Wednesday, September 14, 2016

President Trump reveals secrets of Obama's Hidden Box

One his first day in the White House, President Trump had his personal Trump Towers maids clean the presidential quarters on the 2nd floor.  Donald was fully aware, that the usual cleaning staff were government employees and as most such workers were somewhat sloppy with their assigned task.  So he gave the job of cleaning to his most trusted workers.  Not surprising, one of the maids presented the new President with a box found underneath Barack Obama's old bed.  The box bore the Presidential Seal along with a "do not open label".  Being suspicious that Barack might be up to his old tricks, the package was turned over to the Secret Service for a closer exam.  After a hour or so, two agents returned with the container and presented it to Donald, saying it was safe.  However, Donald being a keen observer of body english, could not help but notice the two were amused by their findings.

Once alone in the Oval Office, Donald opened Obama's Box and immediately burst out laughing.  Laughing because the box revealed the truth about what he has long suspected about the former President.  First neatly folded in one corner was a Muslim prayer rug, that obviously showed signs of use.  Next, and Trump was not really surprised, was a double-ended dildo (which was half white and half black, for some obscure reason) that also showed signs of use.  And of course, a large quantity of premium K-Y jelly.  Tucked beneath the prayer rug and the dildo was an envelope bearing documents marked "Top Secret".  Documents that included Barack's original application to Occidental College--where Obama claimed to be Indonesian in order to get the preferential treatment granted to foreign exchange students.  And to Donald's delight---the time worn original birth certificate of Barack Hussein Obama revealing he was born in the Aga Khan Hospital in Nairobi, Kenya!

President Trump, after serious consideration, consideration that lasted almost an entire minute decided to reveal the contents of Obama's Box to the nation.       

Tuesday, September 13, 2016

The real reason Mexicans come to America

The shocking result of a recent poll taken on illegal aliens who have come to America revealed that the vast majority came to this country in hope of getting a Taco not laced with cat fur.  It seems that because of the dwindling supply of the cattle, horses, and chickens in Mexico, many vendors have turned to the domestic cat (el gato) for meat used in Taco making.  Those streaming across our southern border also reported that the price of a mature cat has soared from 10 Pecos ($,50) to 200 Pecos ($10).  They further indicate that cats are almost extinct in some villages while those same villages are being overrun by hordes of hungry rats, depleting the grain supply in many cases.  This is leading many residents to believe that rats will soon become the primary ingredient of what is fast becoming known as the infamous Mexico Taco.  To combat the recent surge from the south of those seeking "cat free tacos" Donald Trump and others are calling for emergency measures that would allow an increase in the exportation of cattle and chickens to our southern neighbor.  Trump has also indicated that by solving the "El Gato Taco" problem there may be no need for Mexico to build the wall! 

Today's Bonus

The second coming of Marie Antoinette

Hillary Clinton with a statement against Trump supporters she called Deplorables has inadvertently started a movement that will sweep even more people to the polls to support the leader of the Deplorable Movement, Donald Trump.  In effect, Hillary has proved to be the second coming of Marie Antoinette, who during the French Revolution uttered those famous words defaming those in the revolution---"Qu'ils mangent de la brioche" translated: "Let them eat cake"!  Gee do you think Hillary will go the way of Marie?

Monday, September 12, 2016

University Millennials, America's most Indoctrinated Voters

Never before, in the history of the nation have so many been afforded the opportunity to enter behind the once cloistered ivy covered walls of academia to discover the mystery of what lies within.  Now, the University doors have opened wide---not just to those actually seeking more knowledge, but those who wish to experience the drunken orgies of campus life;  and of course, those who in far too many cases cannot read or write at a 5th grade level.  The one thing that campus academics, in charge, have been able to pass along to the pliable and often empty young minds entering these sprawling indoctrination centers is an intense hate for America and it's traditions.  Sadly, their success has far exceeded their expectations.  And now, perhaps for the first time, we are faced with a startling anomaly---one in which the less educated are the more knowledgeable.      

Today's Bonus

 The below is a fictional account of a conflict between Saudi Arabia and Iran.  A conflict that would quickly engulf the entire Middle East leading to a clash between the world's major powers.  As we all know the Middle East is a powder keg with a short fuse.  A short fuse that could easily be ignited by the slightest miscalculation.  A miscalculation that could lead to unintended consequences on a grand scale leaving the world powerless to control the onrushing events.   

Day 1   Reuters News Agency is reporting that 3 Iranian missiles have hit the massive Saudi Aramco Oil Refinery near Riyadh.   Reuters is further reporting that the Iranian "Shahab" missiles were launched from the base near Tabriz. The White House has just broken it's silence on the unfolding events in the Middle East, saying the two sides should explore all avenues for a peaceful solution!
Day 1 +4 hours   A flight of some 22 Saudi F-15's flying out of Prince Sultan Air Base some 60 miles south of Riyadh has attacked the Iranian Naval Base at Bandar Abbas in the Straits of Hormus.         
Day 2   Iranian Quds Forces move toward Iraqi-Kuwaiti Border.  Obama orders evacuation of American bases in Kuwait, including army  bases at Arifjan and Doha as well as the Air Base at Ali al Salem.  The White House claims the closure of these bases was already in the works and these installations were not essential to American security.
Day 3    Elements of the Kuwaiti Army have engaged forward deployed members of the Iranian Quds force as they crossed that country's border from Iraq.
Day 4    In a brief Oval Office address, President Obama sought to reassure the nation that the expanding conflict in the Middle East was under control and his team at the United Nations was having constructive dialogues with those evolved.  Meanwhile the cost of crude oil as jumped from $35 per barrel to an all time high of $400 driving gasoline prices to an astounding $8 per gallon in many locations.
Day 5    Iranian troops continue to push south into Saudi Arabia, while at the same time Kuwait City has fallen to the Islamic Republic.  Reports are coming in that in the past few hours numerous Iranian missiles have fallen on the Saudi capital of Riyadh.. Reuters news service in now reporting that some 20 planes from the RSAF (Royal Saudi Air Force) have been shot down by advanced Russian surface-to-air missiles as they attacked nuclear sites at Arak and Bushehr.  This just in from Sky News in Jerusalem: Missiles are now raining down on northern Israel.  These attacks are believed coming from Hezbollah forces in Lebanon and Syria.
Day 6   The Israeli government has announced that should these attacks by Hezbollah and Hamas continue on it's citizens, that not only will those two terrorist groups be targeted; but those states supporting the proxy war against the Jewish State will feel the wrath of Israel.  Following that official announcement it is being reported that top Israeli members of the of the Knesset as well as Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu have been relocated to a secret site, believed to be somewhere in the Negev Desert. If true, this is an ominous development.
Day 7    The AP in now reporting that Israel has launched an undisclosed number of Jericho III missiles at targets in the Islamic State following the successful downing of incoming Iranian missiles by Israel's "David's Sling" anti-ballistic missile system.             
Day 8     The Kremlin has just announced that Russian military advisers helping to maintain an Iranian SAM battery, were killed when Israeli F-15's attacked that site.  The Russian spokesman added that should these attacks continue Israel would suffer grave consequences.
Day 9     A war of words has erupted between Tel Aviv and the Kremlin with both sides claiming the other was in violation of international war.  Meanwhile the Obama administration is not taking sides and has assumed a neutral position as the Russian Black Sea Fleet moves into the Mediterranean.  Just breaking, the Russian Missile Cruiser Moskva has just shot down 2 Israeli F-15 fighters flying over Israeli airspace using their long range S-300F SAM's.
Day 10   The world is waiting for the reaction of Israel for the unprovoked attack by the Moskva, while at the same time Iranian forces continue their advances on the Arabian Peninsular and Hezbollah rockets are stilll falling on northern Israel.  Just breaking---Reports are coming in that witnesses reported seeing what appears to be a nuclear explosion some 30 miles off the Israeli coast.  Various news agencies around the globe are now reporting that all contact has been lost with their offices in Tel Aviv.
Day 11    Thousands of miles to the south a lone Bushman walking across the vast Kalahari Desert notices a strange small light moving across the night time sky in a northwesterly direction.  He knows this is just a white man's toy finding it's was through the millions of twinkling lights in the cosmos. What is almost beyond his comprehension is that this tiny light streaking toward some unknown destination was born some 100 miles east of South Africa some 200 feet below the surface of the Indian Ocean.  And that the birth mother was a Russian Typhoon Class Ballistic Missile Submarine.  This child of modern man was destined to shine it's final burst of blinding light on the city of Washington, Jefferson and of course Barack Obama.   The president awoke in a cold sweat realizing this all was only a dream.  He turned over and went back to sleep.  At that same moment some 4,500 hundred miles to the East an Iranian general pushes that small red button that will send 3 Shahab missiles streaking toward the Saudi Aramco Refinery near Riyadh.  Obama's dream was over, but the nightmare was only beginning!   .   
By Ron Russell

Sunday, September 11, 2016

15 Years Later Memories of "THAT DAY"!

9 - 11
The memories of 9-11 will not fade from the memories of those who experienced that fateful day of some fifteen years ago, nor should they.  That Day has become a part of the nation's history as much as Lexington and Concord, Bunker Hill, Gettysburg, Pearl Harbor and so many more.  Mere men however, will always do as those before them have.  So just as surely as the cave fires of the ancient Paleo Indians dimmed as time marched on, the sights of that clear September day of 2001, will shrink to little more than tiny specks of light in the vast cosmos.  But for those who lived That Day, wept That Day, held our loved ones close on That Day, despaired That Day, vowed revenge That Day, That Day will remain forever seared into our memories until the day we rejoin the thousands who perished on That Day!   
Today's Bonus

Both Obama and Lincoln are adopted sons of the state of Illinois.  One was born in the neighboring state of Kentucky and the other, well take your pick!  One boldly crossed a line, the Potomac River, setting in motion events that would kill over 500,000 thousand and displace millions sending them fleeing north to escape the destruction of war, so he could save the nation.  While the other retreated from a red line of his own making,  setting in motion events that would kill over 500,000 thousand and displace millions sending them fleeing north to escape the destruction of war, so he could save his sorry ass from a possible  political disaster.     

I was just thinking

Friday, September 9, 2016

The Gordian Knot, a creation of Politicians to stifle Common Sense

There is an old saying, that some of you might not have heard, "politicians will complicate the obvious and trivialize the momentous"!  At first glance, this appears to be nonsensical and should be dismissed by the thinking man.  But upon closer examination the truth of this statement comes into focus.  Have you ever noticed how our leaders will often take a seemingly simple matter and turn a meaningless mole hill into a mountain.  Suddenly, they have in essence created a problem that needs additional study, a problem that can only be tackled after  lengthy  congressional reviews. Reviews that require years and millions of dollars to complete.  Reviews, studies and of course money---all of which are vital in order for them to remain in their vaulted position above the common man. In short, they have created a modern day Gordian Knot.  Have you ever wondered why there are so many lawyers in government.  Well politicians and attorneys have one thing in common---to feather their nest, they must out of necessity muddy the issue, complicate the problem, and create a grand labyrinth.  A labyrinth, they and only they, have the key for.  And should any mere man dare to say that common sense dictates a easy solution to the complex problem they, themselves have created, suddenly that individual is labeled as a simpleton incapable of understanding the complexities of a modern world. Donald Trump has been branded as such a man, by the media and politicians on both sides of the isle.  They see him as a clear and present danger to their way of life.  Lives they have dedicated to complicating the obvious for their own personal gains and not those of the nation.  Just like Alexander the Great, Donald Trump will cut the Gordian Knot and those that cling to it will be swept away by a flood of common sense.  And "America will be great again"

S.H.I.T exposes Truth about Hillary's Poop
The Hillary Clinton campaign is in panic mode following reports that even dung beetles are rejecting Hillary's crap.  Seems that a cabin in a remote part of the Arkansas Ozark mountains sometime used by Bill and Hillary still maintains a traditional Outhouse.  An Outhouse dedicated to the proposition that all crap is created equal.  However entomologists from S.H.I.T. (Sam Houston Institute of Technology)  studying insect behavior in that isolated area have made a shocking discovery.  Apparently dung beetles have rejected Hillary's poop.  The reason for this rejection remains somewhat unclear at this time.  However one of the esteemed entomologists from the university did mention that in the not too distant past he did see a news article in which Hillary implied "her sh*t" didn't stink.  He points to this as one possible reason for the dung beetle's rejection of the candidate's dodo!  At any rate, Hillary is depending on the Dung Beetle Vote to sweep her into the White House, because critters that will swallow almost anything can be counted on to vote for her.  And the frightening fact that some in the Dung Beetle community are refusing what she has to offer is quite disturbing.  

Thursday, September 8, 2016

Hillary Clinton vs. Old Sparky, and the winner is!

I've heard several conservatives recently say, in jest, that we should waterboard Clinton to get the truth.  I am not one of those RINO's and would opt for that time tested device commonly known as "Old Sparky"!  Can you just imagine the old gal, sitting on a throne of her own making instead of that vaulted one in the Oval Office and watching as Donald Trump reaches for the level.  Damn, like Chris Matthews might say, "the mere thought sends tingles up my leg".
And just think after letting Old Sparky have his way with her.  We could send the former Secretary of State off to some remote Pacific island where cannibalism is still in vogue.  Oops forgot they prefer their meat rare and not well done.  
And before you Google proof-readers get your panties in a wad.  This is only satire with a tinge of sarcasm thrown in for good measure.

Hillary's Stand In for Presidential Debates

It will be difficult if not impossible to find any stand in for Hillary as Trump prepares for Presidential Debates.  First off the former Secretary of State has no equal when it comes to lying---there just isn't anyone out there who can hold a candle to this witch!  And then there is that shrillness coming from what should be her vocal cords.  Maybe she has a cat and chalkboard hidden there.  So Donald, guess you will have to go it alone when it comes to debate prep!  

Wednesday, September 7, 2016

Rural Mississippi Community Nuked by Feds

What few people know is that a small rural area in the state of Mississippi was nuked by President Lyndon B. Johnson.  On October 22, 1964 at precisely 10 AM local time a small nuclear device was detonated underground, near the small community of Baxterville in Lamar County in the southern part of the state.  Warning were given to some 400 residents of the area a few hours before the blast and $10 given to each family for the incontinence caused by their evacuation.  That day, I was a student at the University of Southern Mississippi some 30 miles away from ground zero.  Some of the students there reported feeling the ground shake that morning.  I, on the other hand, was in my off campus apartment with a lucky co-ed I met the night before and did feel the earth shake for an entirely different reason, unrelated to the nuke.  Many have wondered why the Mississippi site was selected to be the only area east of the Mississippi River to ever experience a nuclear test.  Preparations for the actual test at the "Salmon Site" were begun during the Kennedy administration and continued during the Johnson years following the assignation of JFK.  There was little love lost between the State and the Kennedy's due to the problems at Ole Miss a few years before.  And President Johnson was keenly aware that the good citizens of Mississippi were unlikely to vote for him in the upcoming election.  An election that would come some 12 days after he nuked the state.  Were both Kennedy and Johnson trying to send a clear message to the Governor of MS and it's people not to mess with their masters in Washington?  I would say, only history could answer that question; but obviously history has passed it by.  And until this day the real reason for the selection of the "Salmon Site"  remains a mystery cloaked in conspiracy theories.  Should you wish to check one of the sources for this piece follow this link  Nuclear explosion in Lamar County Mississippi!     

To this very day I remain pissed off at both Kennedy and Johnson for what I saw as a punitive action by both presidents against the State and citizens of Mississippi for political reasons.  So in order to get my blood pressure down I give you the below satirical joke.  Enjoy!
President Lyndon Johnson was in the Oval Office when his telephone rang. "Hello, President Johnson” a heavily accented southern voice said. "This is Jimmy Boy, down here at Bump's Catfish Shack, in Vicksburg, and I am callin' to tell ya’ll that we are officially declaring war on y'all!" "Well Jimmy Boy," Lyndon replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?" "Right now," said Jimmy Boy, after a moments calculation "there is myself, my cousin Tom, my next-door-neighbor and brother Gerald, and the whole dart team from JD's Bait Shop. That makes eight or maybe nine depending if Bump can close the store. Johnson paused. "I must tell you Jimmy Boy that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command." "Wow," said Jimmy Boy. "I'll have to call ya back!" Sure enough, the next day, Jimmy Boy called again. “Mr. Johnson, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!" "And what equipment would that be Jimmy Boy?" Lyndon asked. "Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and my brother Mike’s farm tractor." President Johnson sighed. "I must tell you Jimmy Boy, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also I've increased my army to one and a half million since we last spoke." "Lord above", said Jimmy Boy, "I'll be getting backto ya." Sure enough, Jimmy Boy called again the next day. “President Johnson! I am sorry to have to tell you that we have had to call off this here war." "I'm sorry to hear that" said Lyndon. "Why the sudden change of heart?" Well, sir," said Jimmy Boy, "we've all sat ourselves down and had a long chat over sweet tea, catfish, greens and pie and come to realize that there's just no way we can feed that many prisoners."

Monday, September 5, 2016

The Myth of Man-made Global Warming

Ugock and his small clan crossed the vast ice fields of the frozen north following the great herds of caribou and at night they sought shelter in the many ice caves of the enormous glaciers. Once inside they used their flint tools to build a fire to provide the warmth needed to get through the long night. As the heat from their several campfires began to warm the cave ice on the caves roof it would melt small amounts of the ice and the water would drip or run down the sides of the caves walls. This was their way of life, the nights in the caves and the days searching for the animals of the north. A cycle that continued for thousands of years. As time passed Ugock noticed the level of a nearby lake was rising. He thought about this at night while sitting near his campfire as he watched the ice melting on the caves roof with an occasional drop of water hitting him on the head. Suddenly on night he jumped to his feet, for he had discovered an absolute truth, he was causing the lake to rise. It was him and his small cave fire and the fires of other nearby clans. 

Next day he raised the alarm and warned all he met of the approaching danger and urged all to reduce the size and number of their cave fires, less the lake continue to rise and drown them all. The fires dimmed but the water continued to raise and eventually out of desperation sacrifices were made to the old gods. The Paleo-Indians had discovered man-made global warming.

Now some 15,000 years later the new cave-dwellers of the sprawling canyons of metropolis have again discovered that ancient enemy of global warming and just as Ugock they are calling for the dimming of the campfires to stop the rising waters. And in time they will call for greater sacrifices to the gods of science, not the virgin sacrifices of the past (alas, no more virgins), but instead, the sacrifice of "our way of life". The sky is falling again and the Chicken Little's of the world are sounding the alarm!
Today's Bonus
H/T to Hope n' Change
White House spokesman, Josh Earnest chief propagandist 
and winner of the coveted  "Joseph Goebbles award",  
recently informed that nation that shovel-ready jobs 
were now available in Chicago.  This wonderful development is the product of the mayor of Chicago and Barack Obama's policy of granting early release to hundreds of gun related convicted felons back on the streets of the windy city.  And then of course, both of their over-reactions when white policemen shoot black suspects.  An action that brought about the "Ferguson Effect", causing law enforcement officers to think twice before confronting criminals on the streets of Chicago.  Yes, we can thank Barack Obama and similar thinkers for the increase in shovel ready jobs in America's second largest city!