IF ISIS/ISIL SHOULD EVER COME TO AMERICA, THEY WOULD BE WELL ADVISED TO AVOID WEST MONROE, LOUISIANA THE HOME TOWN OF THE BOYS OF DUCK DYNASTY. THEIR BEST BET WOULD BE SAN FRANCISCO, WHERE THE MEN ARE.........WELL YOU KNOW!!!!!
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Little Johnny came home from school one day slightly confused. His mother was Jewish and his father was Black.So Johnny asks, "Mommy, am I more Jewish, or more Black?""What does it really matter?" his mother tells him. "If you want to know for sure, you'll just have to ask your father."
So, when his father arrived home from work, Little Johnny asks the same question Daddy, am I more Jewish or more Black?""What the hell kind of a question is that? Why do you want to know if you're more Jewish or more Black?" asks his dad.
“Well, it's like this dad. Tommy down the street wants to sell his bicycle for $50, and I don't know whether to Jew him down to $25,
or wait until it's dark and just steal the damn thing."
SUPPORT OUR TROOPS AND JOIN THE GROWING MOVEMENT TO BREED "SUPER PIG DOGS" TO FIGHT ISLAMIC TERRORIST. THIS NEW HYBRID CANNOT ONLY SNIFF OUT THE ENEMY, BUT SEND HIM INTO A PANICKED FLIGHT BY HIS MERE PRESENCE. EMBED CODE
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JUST LIKE HIS FORMER PAL, THE MOST REV. WRIGHT SAID, "BARACK'S CHICKENS HAVE COME HOME TO ROOST". LIFE'S A BITCH AT TIMES AIN'T IT BARRY! EMBED CODE Code for Facebook, Blogs, Websites and Myspace. Just copy and paste into your site.
SOMEWHERE IN THAT MYTHICAL ISLAMIC SHANGI-LA A VIRGIN IS WAITING. WAITING TO EMBRACE A MARTYRED ISIS WARRIOR. SHE HAS ADORNED HERSELF WITH THE FINEST JEWELS. JEWELS FIT FOR A SULTAN. AS THE SWEET SMELL OF AN EXOTIC "BARNYARD" INCENSE FLOATS ACROSS HER BED CHAMBERS, SHE IS READY FOR THE WARM EMBRACE OF HER ISIS LOVER WHOSE SCIMITAR IS DRENCHED WITH THE BLOOD OF INFIDELS. INFIDELS WHO REFUSED TO ACCEPT THE TEACHINGS OF THE PROPHET. THE GREAT FALLEN WARRIOR WAS HEARD TO UTTER BUT ONE PHRASE UPON ENTERING HER CHAMBER, اللعنة أين هو بلدي الماعز TRANSLATED
"DAMN WHERE IS MY GOAT"!
ALSO POSTED AT STOP OBAMA SATIRE & CARTOONS EMBED CODE Code for Facebook, Blogs, Websites and Myspace. Just copy and paste into your site.
THE OBAMA ADMINISTRATION IS PATTING ITSELF ON THE BACK FOR BRINGING NATIONS LIKE QATAR AND SAUDI ARABIA INTO THE COALITION TO ATTACK ISIS/ISIL IN SYRIA. THE ONLY PROBLEM IS THAT IT IS ESTIMATED THAT FOR EVERY DOLLAR THEY SPEND ATTACKING ISIS THEY SEND 10 TIMES THAT MUCH TO THE COFFERS OF THAT SAME TERRORIST GROUP. CARTOON BY DANA SUMMERS
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SHOULD ANYONE BELIEVE THAT OBAMA'S PROMISE NOT TO PUT AMERICAN BOOTS ON THE GROUND IN IRAQ AND SYRIA THEY NEED A FRICKING HEAD EXAM. WE ALREADY HAVE BOOTS ON THE GROUND WITH MANY MORE TO FOLLOW.THE PRESIDENT IS KEENLY AWARE THAT WITHOUT THEM THE WAR AGAINST ISIL/ISIS IS DOOMED TO FAILURE.
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I DO SUSPECT THAT SECRETLY, OBAMA WOULD LOVE TO FIRE ALL THE GENERALS IN THE MILITARY. AFTER ALL HE CONSIDERS HIMSELF A MILITARY GENIUS AND HAS LITTLE USE FOR AMATEURS.
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THE LATEST WAVE OF ILLEGALS FROM THE SOUTH CAME BRINGING INFECTIOUS DISEASES. DESPITE THIS THEY WERE SCATTERED TO THE 4 CORNERS OF THE UNITED STATES AND GIVEN WAIVERS ON VACCINATIONS REQUIRED FOR NATIVE BORN AMERICANS. WTF GIVES HERE.
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THE LONG AND SHORT OF THIS STORY IS THAT LIBERALS CLAIM TO BE IN FAVOR OF "FREEDOM OF EXPRESSION". THAT IS FREEDOM OF EXPRESSION FOR EVERYONE EXCEPT FOR THOSE WHO DISAGREE WITH THEM.
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PRESIDENT OBAMA RECENTLY TOLD THE WORLD THAT ISIS/ISIL WAS NOT ISLAMIC. ONE MUST WONDER IF THIS IS THE REASON HE KEEPS INSISTING THAT WE WILL PUT NO BOOTS ON THE GROUND IN SYRIA OR IRAQ. IF IT IS SUDDENLY REVEALED THAT ISIS/ISIL IS INDEED AN ISLAMIC ORGANIZATION WOULD HE THEN PUT BOOTS ON THE GROUND OR PERHAPS STOP ALL AIRSTRIKES AGAINST THESE ENEMIES OF AMERICA.
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Fred was in the fertilized egg business. He had several
hundred young pullets and ten roosters to fertilize the
eggs. He kept records, and any
rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was
replaced. This took a lot of time, so he bought some tiny bells and attached them to his roosters.
Each bell had a different tone, so he could tell from a
distance, which rooster was
performing. Now, he could sit on the porch and fill out an
efficiency report by just listening to the bells. Fred's
favorite rooster, old Butch, was a very fine specimen, but
this morning he noticed old Butch's bell hadn't rung
at all! When he went to investigate, he saw the other
roosters were busy chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing, but the
pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for
cover. To Fred's
amazement, old Butch had his bell in his beak, so it
couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job
and walk on to the next one. Fred was so proud of old Butch,
he
entered him in the Brisbane City Show and he became an
overnight sensation among the judges. The result was the judges not only awarded old Butch the
"No Bell Piece Prize," but they also awarded him
the "Pulletsurprise" as well. Clearly old Butch
was a politician in the making.
Who else but a politician
could figure out how to win two of the most coveted awards
on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the
unsuspecting populace and screwing them when they
weren't paying attention.Vote carefully in the next election, you can't always hear the bells.
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What is the difference between a battery and a woman? A battery has a positive side.
Why is the space between a woman's breasts and her hips called a waist? Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there..
How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good? Put a nipple on it.
Why do women fake orgasms ? Because they think men care.
What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes? Nothing, she's been told twice already.
If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you done wrong? Made her chain too long.
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
Why do women have smaller feet than men? It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
Why do men pass gas more than women? Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first ? The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%..
It's called a Wedding Cake.
SOMETIME BACK OBAMA ACCUSED SOME CONSERVATIVES OF CLINGING TO THEIR "GUNS AND BIBLES", BUT SAID NOTHING ABOUT LIBERALS CLINGING TO THEIR OBAMA PHONES AND WELFARE CHECKS.
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OBAMA'S STRATEGY TO PROTECT AMERICANS FROM ISIS/ISIL HEAD-HUNTERS IS GAINING SUPPORT IN CONGRESS WITH THAT BODY ABOUT TO APPROVE $5 BILLION FOR THE SPECIFIC PURPOSE OF PROVIDING ALL CITIZENS WITH THE ULTIMATE PROTECTION AGAINST THE "SWORD OF ISIS"!
JUST THIS WEEK RUSSIA TESTED A NEW NUCLEAR MISSILE---THE FIRST IN MANY YEARS. COUPLED WITH THAT PUTIN HAS STEPPED UP HIS PRACTICE BOMBING RUNS ON THE UNITED STATES. THE PERCEIVED WEAKNESS OF PRESIDENT OBAMA HAS EMBOLDENED BOTH RUSSIA AND CHINA TO TAKE MORE AGGRESSIVE MOVES TOWARD THE U.S. IN THIS CLIMATE DANGEROUS MISCALCULATIONS COULD LEAD TO UNINTENDED WAR----NUCLEAR WAR!!!!!
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On his 70th birthday, a man was given a gift certificate from his wife. The certificate was for a consultation with an Indian medicine man living on a nearby reservation who was rumored to have a simple cure for erectile dysfunction! The husband went to the reservation and saw the medicine man.
The old Indian gave him a potion and with a grip on his shoulder warned, 'This is a powerful medicine. You take only a teaspoonful, and then say '1-2-3.'
When you do, you will become more manly than you have ever been in your life, and you can perform for as long as you want." The man thanked the old Indian and as he walked away, he turned and asked, "How do I stop the medicine from working?"
"Your partner must say '1-2-3-4,' he responded, "but when she does, the medicine will not work again until the next full moon."
He was very eager to see if it worked so he went home, showered, shaved, took a spoonful of the medicine, and then invited his wife to join him in the bedroom. When she came in, he took off his clothes and said, "1-2-3!" Immediately, he was the manliest of men.
His wife was excited and began throwing off her clothes, and then she asked, "What was the 1-2-3 for?"
And that, boys and girls, is why we should never end our sentences with a preposition, because we could end up with a dangling participle.
SEEMS THOSE IN THE MEDIA FOR THE MOST PART FAWN OVER EVERY ARTICULATE WORD OUR DEAR LEADER UTTERS. AND WITH THE SAME BREATH LABEL RACIST ANYONE WHO DARES TO SAY HE IS ARTICULATE. IT APPEARS THAT EVERY TIME SOME MUSLIM TERRORIST GROUP COMMITS A HEINOUS ACT OBAMA FOR THE MOST PART IS QUICK TO CONDEMN, BUT HE SELDOM DOES SO WITHOUT FIRST PRAISING IN SOME WAY THE GREATNESS OF THE PROPHET AND CALLING ISLAM, A RELIGION OF PEACE. BUT THEN, THOSE WHO HELPED BARACK IN HIS EARLY DAYS UNDERSTAND THE WORLD, WERE QUICK TO POINT OUT THE EVILS OF THE WHITE MAN AND CAPITALISM AND BLAMED WESTERN NATIONS LIKE AMERICA FOR ALL THE WORLDS TROUBLES. ABOVE IMAGE FROM POLITIFAKE
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WHEN IT COMES TO PROTESTORS THE MEDIA IS INCLINED TO CANONIZE THOSE ON THE LEFT WHILE DEMONIZING THOSE FROM THE RIGHT. HELL, THAT IS NOTHING NEW. CARTOON BY WILLIAM WARREN
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Just when you thought you’d seen everything!
No reason to stand on your feet while waiting to get your welfare check.
Just put your flip-flops next in line and go back and sit on your lazy butt and play games on your free iPhone.
Is this a great country or what?
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WILL THE BUTCHER OF DAMASCUS, PRESIDENT ASSAD, BECOME THE NEW ALLY OF BARACK OBAMA IN THE WAR ON ISIS? SEEMS THAT POLITICS DOES MAKE STRANGE BEDFELLOWS.
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