We are surprised to announce that government services are expanding with the Trump Box: A meal delivery service for those who can't afford food. The goals of the Trump Box are to promote healthier eating, save money by purchasing food in bulk, and prevent fraud. When asked for a sample menu of what the non-perishable items may be, Trump's spokesperson provided this list, which sounds like an MRE from 1945:
Stale crackers Ramen noodles
An MSG packet
Can of sardines
Chopped meat spread
Brick dust
Dog food for granny, before she gets shoved off a cliff
Vitamin C tablets for scurvy
And a voter registration form, with Republican Party pre-marked.
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