SEVERAL STATES HAVE PROPOSED LAWS TO REQUIRE URINE TEST FOR THOSE ON WELFARE. THIS SEEMS PERFECTLY FAIR TO ME IN THAT I MUST TAKE THIS TEST ON THE JOB IN ORDER TO PROVIDE FOR MY FAMILY AND PAY THE TAXES NEEDED TO PAY FOR THOSE ON WELFARE. BUT THEN, COMMON SENSE HAS NO PLACE IN THE WORLD OF PROGRESSIVES WHO WOULD OPPOSE THIS MEASURE. NOT, TOO MANY YEARS BACK PLACES THAT SOLD LIQUOR WERE CLOSED ON ELECTION DAY IN CERTAIN LOCALITIES FOR THE LEADERS REALIZED THAT DRUNKS COULDN'T CAST AN INTELLIGENT VOTE, SO WHY NOT A BREATHALYZER TEST AT THE POLLING PLACE, AFTER ALL WE WOULD NEVER ALLOW DRUNKS ON THE ASSEMBLY LINE IN A FACTORY SO WHY ALLOW THEM ON THE ASSEMBLY LINE THAT TURNS OUT OUR POLITICAL LEADERS---THE POLLING PLACE.
THE MASSIVE THRONGS ARE GATHERING WITH EAGER ANTICIPATION OF THE LONG AWAITED UNVEILING OF THE "GREAT OBAMA" STATUE. THEY WILL QUICKLY DECORATE THE BRONZE MONUMENT WITH ADORING SYMBOLS OF THEIR LOVE FOR THE GREAT ONE.
