Rachel Jental and Barack Obama

H/T TO  THE PEOPLES CUBE

REMEMBER WHEN THE MARTIN-ZIMMERMAN CASE WAS FIRST BREAKING AND PRESIDENT OBAMA STEPPED IN OFFERING HIS TWO CENTS WORTH BY SAYING, "IF I HAD A SON HE WOULD LOOK LIKE TRAYVON MARTIN"---HE OF COURSE WAS TELLING US WHICH SIDE HE CAME DOWN ON.  CONSIDERING HIS STANCE ON GAY MARRIAGE I WONDER IF HE IS THINKING, "IF I HAD A DAUGHTER-IN-LAW SHE WOULD LOOK LIKE RACHEL JENTAL"!

SPECIAL THANKS TO  THE PEOPLES CUBE FOR THIS  EYE-POPPING THOUGHT.

Blonde and Gun. Something for Cat and Bird lovers!

A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head. The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it." The blonde replies, "Shut up, you're next!"

********************

JUST FOR CAT LOVERS

BUT US BIRD LOVERS WILL HAVE THE LAST WORD!

Blonde goes to XXX Video Store

A blonde decides to do something crazy she hasn't done before, so she sets out to rent her first X-rated adult video.

She goes to the dirty movie store and, after looking around for a while, selects a title that sounds very stimulating. She drives home, lights some candles, slips into something comfortable, and puts the tape in the VCR.

 

To her disappointment there's nothing but static on the screen, so she calls the video store to complain.

 

Blonde: "I just rented an adult movie from you and there's nothing on the tape, but static."

 

Store Clerk: "Sorry about that. We've had problems with some of those tapes. Which title did you rent?"

 

Blonde: "It's called 'Head Cleaner'

He said.... She said....

He said . . . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.  

She said . . . You wear pants don't you?

 

He said . . ..... Shall we try swapping positions tonight?

She said . That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart!

He said . ... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?

She said . .....Turn sideways and look in the mirror!

 

He said . . How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?

She said .. . We don't know; it has never happened.

 

He said . . Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and Good- looking?

She said ...... . . They already have boyfriends.

 

She said...What do you call a women who knows where her husband is every night?

He said . . . A widow.

 

He said . .. . Why are married women heavier than singlewomen?

She said . . . Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.

President Obama to visit the "New Africa"

 

CARTOON BY LISA BENSON

THE PRESIDENT WILL SHORTLY BEGIN AN EXTENDED TRIP TO HIS ANCESTRAL HOMELAND.  HE WILL BE ACCOMPANIED BY MICHELLE AND DAUGHTERS AND A VAST ARRAY OF SUPPORTING VEHICLES, PLANES AND SHIPS.  BUT NOT TO WORRY, THE PRESIDENT WILL NOT HAVE TO PAY FOR THIS LUXURY  TRIP, THAT COST WILL BE BORN BY THE POOR AMERICAN TAXPAYERS.  IT HAS BEEN RUMORED THAT EVEN OBAMA'S COUSINS ARE HEADING TO POINTS ON THE DARK CONTINENT FOR A REUNION WITH THEIR KIN.

IT HAS ALSO BEEN REPORTED THAT DUE TO THE NATURE OF THE COUNTRY SIDE THAT SPECIAL WARNINGS HAVE BEEN ISSUED TO THE PRESIDENT AND THOSE TRAVELING WITH HIM.  THE GOVERNMENT OF THE COUNTRIES OBAMA WILL BE VISITING HAVE ISSUED A STERN WARNING TO THOSE TRAVELING WITH THE PRESIDENT TO OBEY ALL OFFICIAL ROADSIDE SIGNS.

WE ALL HOPE THE PRESIDENT ENJOYS HIS PAID VACATION BACK TO HIS ROOTS.  WE ARE SURE HE WILL NOTICE THE AMAZING PROGRESS MADE IN THAT PART OF THE WORLD.  AFRICA AFTER ALL IS SAID TO BE THE BIRTHPLACE OF MAN.

 

ADDITIONAL SITES THAT THE PRESIDENT AND FIRST LADY WILL BE TREATED TOO UPON THEIR VISIT TO THE NEW AFRICA:

THANKS TO MODERN TECHNOLOGY THE HOLE IS NOW DEEPER. 
THE HOLE AT THE OVAL OFFICE MUST BE AWFULLY DEEP.
  THIS IS THE ONLY DRILLING THAT OBAMA SUPPORTS.

NEW EMERGING NATIONS NOW HAVE MODERN HIGHWAYS!

PROGRESS IS SLOW, BUT EVENTUALLY THE MONKEY WILL SIT IN FRONT.

LOW FLYING AIRCRAFT ARE STILL A PROBLEM AROUND MANY AIRPORTS. 

BUT SOME AIRPORTS ARE NOW INSTALLING FENCES!  PRESIDENT OBAMA DOES SUPPORT THIS FENCE BUILDING PROJECT.

 

Florida Senior Citizen

A Florida senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he pushed it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left. "Amazing," he thought as he flew down I-95, pushing the pedal even more.

Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a Florida State Trooper, blue lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this!" and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival.

Pulling in behind him, the trooper got out of his vehicle and walked up to the Corvette. He looked at his watch, then said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a new reason for speeding--a reason I've never before heard -- I'll let you go."

The old gentleman paused then said: "Three years ago, my wife ran off with a Florida State Trooper. I thought you were bringing her back.

"Have a good day, Sir," replied the trooper.

*****************************

Obama's sets loose his EPA Carbon Police

CARTOON BY  WILLIAM WARREN

IN A SPEECH JUST TODAY OBAMA IMPLIED HE IS SENDING THE EPA POLICE TO SHUT DOWN MANY COAL POWERED POWER PLANTS ACROSS THE NATION.  HE IS MAKING GOOD HIS PROMISE THAT UTILITY RATES WOULD NECESSARILY SKYROCKET.

 

Bowing down at the Altar of Big Government and our Dear Leader, Barack Obama

CARTOON BY GARY McCOY

COMRADES, WE SHOULD ALL DO OUR PATRIOTIC DUTY AND BOW DOWN AT THE ALTAR OF BIG GOVERNMENT AND BE GRATEFUL THAT OUR DEAR LEADER IS SO UNDERSTANDING OF OUR BOURGEOIS SHORTCOMINGS.

IF YOU WANT MORE DETAILS THAT JUST MUDDY THE WATERS GO TO ANOTHER SITE THIS IS NOT THE PLACE FOR YOU!
STOP OBAMA IN 2012! GET YOUR STOP OBAMA'S SECOND TERM AGENDA WIDGET. FOLLOW LINK FOR DETAILS.

Michelle Obama world's biggest Welfare Queen

MICHELLE AND HER HUBBY ARE LIVING HIGH OFF THE PUBLIC DOLE.  UNLIKE MILLIONS OF OTHER WELFARE RECIPIENT'S ACROSS AMERICA, THEY ARE BY FAR THE CHAMPS.  SPENDING MILLIONS OF TAX PAYER DOLLARS ON LAVISH UNNECESSARY TRIPS LIKE THE UPCOMING ONE TO AFRICA THAT WILL COST AN ESTIMATED $60-$100 MILLION DOLLARS.  THEY DID HOWEVER GIVE UP A SHORT SAFARI.  I CAN ONLY SPECULATE AS TO THE REASON.  I OFTEN WONDERED IF OBAMA ARRIVED ON A SURF BOARD OR JUST ONE STEP AHEAD OF A KENYAN LION.  MAYBE HE JUST DOESN'T WON'T TO GIVE THAT LION ANOTHER CRACK AT HIM.

IF YOU WANT MORE DETAILS THAT JUST MUDDY THE WATERS GO TO ANOTHER SITE THIS IS NOT THE PLACE FOR YOU!
STOP OBAMA IN 2012! GET YOUR STOP OBAMA'S SECOND TERM AGENDA WIDGET. FOLLOW LINK FOR DETAILS.

The IRS gets every last Nickel

A father walks into a restaurant with his young son. He gives the young boy 3 nickels to play with to keep him occupied. Suddenly, the boy starts choking, going blue in the face. The father realizes the boy has swallowed the nickels and starts slapping him on the back. The boy coughs up 2 of the nickels, but keeps choking.

The changing role of Goats in Warfare.

SHARING BANANAS WITH GOAT DURING THE BATTLE OF SAIPAN 1944

THE ROLE OF THE LOWLY GOAT IN WARFARE HAS SURE CHANGED.  AMERICANS ON SAIPAN FED THE POOR STARVING THINGS FRESH BANANAS.  AND NOW ON THE BATTLE FIELDS OF AFGHANISTAN THE TALIBAN ARE TRYING TO DO THE SAME THING, BUT ALAS THERE ARE NO BANANAS.

IF YOU WANT MORE DETAILS THAT JUST MUDDY THE WATERS GO TO ANOTHER SITE THIS IS NOT THE PLACE FOR YOU!
STOP OBAMA IN 2012! GET YOUR STOP OBAMA'S SECOND TERM AGENDA WIDGET. FOLLOW LINK FOR DETAILS.

Redneck Special Forces

The Pentagon announced TODAY the formation of a new 500-man elite fighting unit called the United States Redneck Special Forces (USRSF)
These boys will be dropped off in Afghanistan and have been given only the following facts about terrorists:
The season opened today.
There is no limit.
They taste just like chicken.
They don't like beer, pickups, country music or Jesus.
They are directly responsible for the death of Dale Earnhardt.
The pentagon expects the fighting  in Afghanistan to be over in a few weeks. 

Cartoons and conservative commentary on (NSA, IRS, DOJ, and Benghazi Scandals). Obama Cartoon, satire, breaking news, and current political issues such as gun control and Martin-Zimmerman trial.

Dangers of Inexperience

A seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and talk turns to their adventures on the sea. The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg-leg, a hook, and an eye patch.

Self Examination for Alzheimer's Disease

....It takes less than 15 seconds.... If you are over 45 yrs. old, you SHOULD take this Alzheimer's Test. How fast can you guess these words and fill-in the blanks?

1. _ _NDOM

2. F_ _K

3. P_N_S

4. PU_S_

5. S_X

6. BOO_S

Answers: . . . . .

Edward Snowden is something of an Enigma a modern day Scaramouche

H/T TO  THE PEOPLES SPOON

OCCASIONALLY THAT PERSON WALKS AMONG US WHO IS SOMETHING OF AN ENIGMA.  THAT INDIVIDUAL THAT WON'T FIT INTO A TRADITIONAL COVEY HOLE.  EDWARD SNOWDEN IS SUCH A MAN.  SOME WOULD SAY HE IS TOO SMART TO BE A DEMOCRAT BUT AT THE SAME TIME TO DUMB TO BE A REPUBLICAN OR VICE VERSA IF THAT'S YOUR BAG.  ACCORDING TO HIM, HE IS A DEMOCRAT, BUT AT THE SAME TIME HE IS REVEALING OUR DEAR LEADERS MOST CLOSELY GUARDED SECRETS.  AND WHILE HE IS DOING THIS GREAT SERVICE FOR THE CONSERVATIVE CAUSE HE IS AT THE SAME TIME APPARENTLY GIVING AID AND COMFORT TO AMERICA'S GREATEST ENEMIES---THE PEOPLES REPUBLIC OF CHINA BY EXPOSING IN SOME DETAIL OUR SPYING EFFORTS AND THEREBY CAUSING MANY ON THE RIGHT TO HAVE SLEEPLESS NIGHTS.  YOU KNOW THAT WHEN BARACK OBAMA AND DICK CHANEY AGREE ON SOMETHING THAT NEITHER IF FULLY INFORMED OR ELSE THEY BOTH KNOW SOMETHING THAT WE ARE ENTIRELY IGNORANT ABOUT.  FOR THE TIME, EDWARD SNOWDEN REMAINS A MYSTERY MUCH LIKE THE ROGUISH CLOWN FIGURE SCARAMOUCHE, WHO WEARS A MASK BEFORE REVEALING HIS TRUE IDENTITY IN THE END.

IF YOU WANT MORE DETAILS THAT JUST MUDDY THE WATERS GO TO ANOTHER SITE THIS IS NOT THE PLACE FOR YOU!
STOP OBAMA IN 2012! GET YOUR STOP OBAMA'S SECOND TERM AGENDA WIDGET. FOLLOW LINK FOR DETAILS.

The Taliban and the old Jew

H/T TO MOTIFAKE

IF YOU WANT MORE DETAILS THAT JUST MUDDY THE WATERS GO TO ANOTHER SITE THIS IS NOT THE PLACE FOR YOU!
STOP OBAMA IN 2012! GET YOUR STOP OBAMA'S SECOND TERM AGENDA WIDGET. FOLLOW LINK FOR DETAILS.

God and Adam

One day God came to Adam for a brief discussion. "I've got some good news and some bad news." God said.

It's Obamaman! Faster than a legal wiretap!

CARTOON BY  KEN CATALINO

IS IT A BIRD?  IS IT A PLANE?  NO IT'S OBAMAMAN!  FASTER THAN SLICK WILLY ON HIS BEST DAY!  MORE POWERFUL THAT A SPEEDING LOCOMOTIVE.  THE MILD MANNER LEADER, WHO FIGHTS AN UNENDING BATTLE AGAINST TRUTH AND JUSTICE AND THE AMERICAN WAY.  THE SUPER HERO THAT WILL SINGLE-HANDED RIP UP THE CONSTITUTION AND REPLACE IT WITH HIS BEST SELLER "OBAMA'S WAY OR THE HIGHWAY"!

IF YOU WANT MORE DETAILS THAT JUST MUDDY THE WATERS GO TO ANOTHER SITE THIS IS NOT THE PLACE FOR YOU!
STOP OBAMA IN 2012! GET YOUR STOP OBAMA'S SECOND TERM AGENDA WIDGET. FOLLOW LINK FOR DETAILS.

Heroism honored by P.E.T.A.

DRAMATIC IMAGES OF HEROISM WITH A HAPPY ENDING THAT TOUCHED MY HEART.

Hymn no.365

A minister was completing a temperance sermon.... With great emphasis he said, 'If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river.'

 

IRS Genie

A modern day cowboy has spent many days crossing the Dakota prairies without water. His horse had already died of thirst. He's crawling along the dusty ground, certain that he has breathed his last breath, when all of a sudden he sees an object sticking out of the ground several yards ahead of him. He crawls to the object, pulls it out of the ground and discovers what looks to be an old briefcase. He opens it and out pops a genie.

 

Wrong E-Mail Address and the NSA with the help of PRISM is taking notes.

A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier.

All the right Equipment

A couple went on vacation to a resort up north. The husband liked to fish, and the wife liked to read. One morning the husband came back from fishing after getting up really early that morning and took a nap. While he slept, the wife decided to take the boat out.

 

She was not familiar with the lake, so she rowed out and anchored the boat, and started reading her book. Along comes the Game Warden in his boat, pulls up alongside the woman's boat and asks her what she's doing?

She says, "Reading my book." The Game Warden tells her she is in a restricted fishing area and she explains that she's not fishing.

To which he replied, "But you have all this equipment. I will have to take you in and write you up!"

Angry that the warden was being so unreasonable, the lady told the warden, "If you do that, I will charge you with rape."

The warden, shocked by her statement, replied, "But I didn't even touch you."

To which the lady replied, "Yeah, but you have all the equipment!"

****************************************************

CERTAINLY HAS THE RIGHT EARS FOR THE JOB! 
BUT SEEMS TO HAVE A TALENT OF HEARING ONLY WHAT HE WANTS TOO!
H/T TO  TOWN HALL

 

How Government Works

Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert. Congress said "someone may steal from it at night." So they created a night watchman position and hired a person for the job.  
 

Then Congress said, "How does the watchman do his job without instruction?" So they created a planning department and hired two people, one person to write the instructions, and one person to do time studies. Then Congress said, "How will we know the night watchman is doing the tasks correctly?" So they created a Quality Control department and hired two people. One to do the studies and one to write the reports.  

 

Then Congress said, "How are these people going to get paid?" So they created the following positions, a time keeper, and a payroll officer, then hired two people. Then Congress said, "Who will be accountable for all of these people?" So they created an administrative section and hired three people, an Administrative Officer, Assistant Administrative Officer, and a Legal Secretary.  

 

Then Congress said, "We have had this command in operation for one year and we are $18,000 over budget, we must cutback overall cost." So they laid off the night watchman.

**********************************************

 

HOW GOVERNMENT REALLY WORKS!

Catholic School Joke

An eleven-year-old Jewish boy was failing math. His parents tried everything from tutors to hypnosis; but to no avail. Finally, at the insistence of a family friend, they decided to enroll their son in a private Catholic school.

 

After the first day, the boy's parents were surprised when he walked in after school with a stern, focused and very determined expression on his face. He went straight past them, right to his room and quietly closed the door.

For nearly two hours he toiled away in his room - with math books strewn about his desk and the surrounding floor. He emerged long enough to eat, and after quickly cleaning his plate, went straight back to his room, closed the door and worked feverishly at his studies until bedtime.

This pattern of behaviour continued until it was time for the first quarter's report card. The boy walked in with it unopened laid it on the dinner table and went straight to his room. Cautiously, his mother opened it and, to her amazement, she saw a large black 'A' under the subject of Math.

Overjoyed, she and her husband rushed into their son's room, thrilled at his remarkable progress. "Was it the nuns that did it?" the father asked.

The boy shook his head and said "No."

"Was it the one-to-one tutoring? The peer-mentoring?"

"No."

"The textbooks? The teachers? The curriculum?"

"No", said the son. "On that first day, when I walked in the front door and saw that guy nailed to the plus sign, I KNEW they meant business!"

VERIZON and PRISM: Can you hear me now? Obama: Yes we can!

SOME HAVE BEEN WONDERING WHAT OBAMA WAS TALKING ABOUT WHEN HE KEPT SAYING, "YES WE CAN"!  NOW WE KNOW.

THE NAME OF THE GOVERNMENTS NEW INTERNET GATHERING PROGRAM "PRISM" IS VERY TELLING.  A PRISM FOR THOSE WHO DON'T KNOW IS A DEVICE THAT BREAKS DOWN WHITE LIGHT TO ALL ITS COMPONENTS.  PRISM WILL IDENTIFY EACH AND EVERY PERSON WHO USES THE INTERNET AS TO SEXUAL ORIENTATION, RACE, RELIGION, POLITICAL VALUES, SEX AND HUNDREDS OF OTHER WAYS.  THIS INFORMATION WOULD BE INVALUABLE TO POLITICAL OPERATIVES OF EITHER PART.  THIS INFORMATION IS A VIOLATION OF EVERY AMERICAN'S PRIVACY.  GATHERING THIS TYPE OF INFORMATION IS UNCONSTITUTIONAL.  EVERY AMERICAN WHETHER LIBERAL OR CONSERVATIVE SHOULD CONDEMN THIS ACTIVITY BY THE GOVERNMENT.  THIS IS NOT A LEFT OR RIGHT ISSUE, BUT AN AMERICAN ISSUE.

STOP OBAMA! Stop Obama's Second Term Agenda WIDGET. FOLLOW LINK FOR DETAILS. IF YOU WANT MORE DETAILS THAT JUST MUDDY THE WATERS GO TO ANOTHER SITE THIS IS NOT THE PLACE FOR YOU!
STOP OBAMA IN 2012! GET YOUR STOP OBAMA'S SECOND TERM AGENDA WIDGET. FOLLOW LINK FOR DETAILS.

D-Day June 6, 1944. The Beginning of the end for Hitler's National Socialism

 ACTUAL IMAGE OF NEW YORK TIMES FRONT PAGE PRINTED ON JUNE 7, 1944.  A GREAT DAY IN AMERICAN HISTORY.  SOME HAVE CALLED JUNE 6, 1944 THE "LONGEST DAY" AND IT CERTAINLY WAS THAT FOR THE TENS OF THOUSANDS STORMING THE BEACHES AT NORMANDY FACING A HAIL OF ENEMY FIRE.  THANKS GUYS.  THANKS FOR REMOVING THE TYRANT, ADOLPH HITLER, AND HIS NATIONAL SOCIALISM PARTY.  WE COULD LEARN A GREAT DEAL  FROM READING THE HISTORY OF THIS ERA  SO AS TO NOT REPEAT IT.

IF YOU WANT MORE DETAILS THAT JUST MUDDY THE WATERS GO TO ANOTHER SITE THIS IS NOT THE PLACE FOR YOU!
STOP OBAMA IN 2012! GET YOUR STOP OBAMA'S SECOND TERM AGENDA WIDGET. FOLLOW LINK FOR DETAILS.

Rude Drunk

Three guys are drinking in a bar when a drunk comes in, staggers up to them, and points at the guy in the middle, shouting, "Your mom's the best sex in town!" Everyone expects a fight, but the guy ignores him, so the drunk wanders off and bellies up to the bar at the far end. Ten minutes later, the drunk comes back, points at the same guy, and says, "I just did your mom, and it was sw-e-et!" Again the guy refuses to take the bait, and the drunk goes back to the far end of the bar. Ten minutes later, he comes back and announces, "Your mom liked it!" Finally the guy interrupts. "Go home, Dad, you're drunk!"

****************************************

 

FINALLY THE REASON REASON
FOR THE SORRY STATE OF THE UNION!

 

Coyotes and Sheepe

Fed up with failure in preventing coyotes from killing his sheep, a rancher brought out his rifle to eliminate the pack.

Monkey and the Cue Ball

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking it the monkey is running wild. The monkey jumps up on the pool table and grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows it whole.

Bubba Clinton and the Pope Joke

Bill Clinton and the Pope both died on the same day. Due to a minor clerical error, the Pope went to Hell, while Clinton went to Heaven. When the Pope arrived in Hell, everyone realized the mistake. Due to an issue with the union, they couldn't swap the two until the next day, and the Pope had to spend the night in Hell, while Clinton spent the night in Heaven. The next day the paperwork got worked out. On his way up to Heaven, the Pope ran into Clinton. Clinton asked the Pope, "How was your night in Hell?" "Very educational," responded the Pope. "I've learned a lot from the experience, but now I'm glad I'm going to Heaven. I've been waiting all my life to meet the Virgin Mary." "Ooh, sorry," said Clinton, "you should have been there yesterday."


YOU CAN SEE HOW HILLARY REALLY FEELS ABOUT BUBBA

Priest and the Miracle

A woman starts dating a doctor. She eventually becomes pregnant and they don't know what to do. About nine months later, just about the time she is going to give birth, a priest goes into the hospital for a prostate gland infection.

Long Haul Trucker

A trucker who has been out on the road for two months stops at a brothel outside Atlanta.