Friday, December 13, 2013

Jenny Craig for Men or Saving Your Butt from a fate worse than Death!

I called the company and ordered their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program. The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before me a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck. She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, 'If you can catch me, you can have me.' Without a second thought, I took off after her. A few miles later huffing and puffing, I finally gave up.
The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens. On the fifth day, I weighed myself and am delighted to find I lost 10 lbs. as promised. I called the company and ordered their 5-day/20 pound program. The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman I have ever seen in my life. She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, 'If you catch me you can have me'. Well, I'm out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and I do my best, but no such luck. So for the next four days, the same routine happens and I'm gradually getting in better and better shape. Much to my delight on the fifth day when I weigh myself, I discover that I have lost another 20 lbs. as promised.
 So I decide to go for broke and called the company to order the 7-day/50 pound program. "Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program." "Absolutely," I reply, "I haven't felt this good in years." The next day there's a knock at the door; and when I open it I find a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads, "If I catch you,... you're mine." I lost 63 pounds that week,
If I had lived in Frisco, wouldn't have lost a pound but gained a friend.


Sandee said...

Bwahahahahahahaha. Some weight loss plan.

Have a fabulous Friday the 13th. ☺

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Ron, did he catch you in the end?

Ron Russell said...

My end is ok!