Evolution of Mankind and Politics

Evolution of Mankind and Politics

Finally, an explanation of the evolution of mankind and politics we can all understand!

Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and would go to the coast
and live on fish and lobster in the winter.

The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer and the invention of the wheel.

The wheel was invented to get man to the beer. These were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:
1. Liberals
2. Conservatives

Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.

Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to B-B-Q at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservative movement.

Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly B-B-Q's and doing the sewing, fetching, and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the Liberal movement.

Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. The rest became known as girliemen.

Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy, group hugs, and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that conservatives provided.

Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant

Liberals are symbolized by the jackass.

Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare.

Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of their women have higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat.

Conservatives drink domestic beer They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, corporate executives, athletes, Marines, and generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.

Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America. They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get more for nothing.

Here ends today's lesson in world history: It should be noted that a Liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to the above before forwarding it. A Conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute truth of this history that it will be forwarded immediately to other true believers and to more liberals just to tick them off.

Liberalism and Barack Obama

The elites and academics all have told us over and over that Barack Obama is perhaps the most intelligent, one of the best educated, and certainly one of the greatest orators we have ever had as president. Is he all of the above, and is this why has these recognized leaders of academia and the east and west coast elitists are virtually swooning over his mere presence. What is this fascination with this heretofore virtually unknown senator from Illinois. Is it his undeniable charm, his youth, his appearance---what is the fascination these people have with Obama. Could it be the fact that he is black and that most liberals have deep guilt feelings toward the way they perceive blacks were repressed in the past and see this as a opportunity to somehow right a wrong. Perhaps its all of these. I do feel a need to point out however, that if Barack were a conservative then none of these things would cause liberals to support or much less praise this man. So the bottom line is not his race, it is not his charm, it is not his academic standing, it is not his youth, it is not his appearance, it is his political ideology. True his liberalism is the overriding factor and his other attributes are just gravy for the elites and the academics. He is in effect, is everything rolled into one for those on the left. The tingle that Chris Matthews, and others of a like mind feel when they see and hear this man is no mystery, he represents all that they believe in. He is to put it bluntly, their god, in him they see a path to a new future and the prospect of the great society they have long envisioned. These, so-called progressives, do not like the America that has in most cases given them a great life, but favor the establishment of a new order in which the government will be the great equalizer and lift up the down-trodden (as they see them) in our society. They think that everyone has the same ambitions and drives that they have, and those that are left behind have only the a repressive government to blame. They see the existing form of government as the problem ---individuals, in their minds, are all eager for a better life. To them government, and only government has the ability to help those left behind. What the liberal cannot grasp, cannot understand is that the drive for success does not exist in everyone. Some are content with their positions, but others feel that they are owed something---sadly, many fit into the category. They people are ripe pickings for the progressives; who with their misguided beliefs, think they can actually help. There is a common bond between these two groups---one who feels the are owed something and the other who feels they owe them something. The sad fact is that neither can, in the end be satisfied. Utopia is a wonderful dream, but a rational man will recognize it for what it is ---just a dream. The drive for perfection is often a good thing, but the act of taking from one to give to another will in the end destroy the prosperity of all.