Showing posts with label totus. Show all posts
Showing posts with label totus. Show all posts

Monday, January 29, 2018

TOTUS: News, Satire and Opinion Jan. 29, 2018

Road to World War III: 3 Iranian Missiles strike Saudi Aramco Oil Refinery near Riyadh

Day 1:   Reuters News Agency is reporting that 3 Iranian missiles have hit the massive Saudi Aramco Oil Refinery near Riyadh.   Reuters is further reporting that the Iranian "Shahab" missiles were launched from the base near Tabriz. The White House has just broken it's silence on the unfolding events in the Middle East, saying the two sides should explore all avenues for a peaceful solution! 
Day 1 + 4 hours:   A flight of some 22 Saudi F-15's flying out of Prince Sultan Air Base some 60 miles south of Riyadh has attacked the Iranian Naval Base at Bandar Abbas in the Straits of Hormuz.
Read more.....
______________________________
Trump's SOTU Speech on Steroids

We all know, by this time, that our 45th President is a man that speaks his mind.  We have no idea what Donald may say at his SOTU speech.  You just have to follow the below link to see what, I suspect Trump will be thinking as he looks out at those gathered in the House chambers.
 ______________________________
Wash Hands before Touching Exotic Robotic Pole Dancers

Finally Vegas strip clubs have solved that age old problem of customers groping the Pole Dancers.  Some Las Vegas gentleman's clubs are now featuring erotic robotic dancers.  Apparently, the only requirement is that potential male gropers wash their hands thoroughly upon entering the establishment. Read more..... 
______________________________
Will Wooden Dildos replace Planet Destroying Plastic ones in California?

I'm old enough to remember the day when Paper Bags were condemned by those on the left as a 'real and present danger' to the forest of America.  At that time our astute neighbor to the south, Mexico was using those glorious plastic bags at the markets and tourist shops.  The Mexican Government was seen as the champion of the Green Movement.  
______________________________
Shocking: California Plastic Surgeons report astronomical increase among women for Botox Butt Enhancement Injections

Just recently, it was reported that a number of camels in a Saudi beauty contest were disqualified after it was discovered their beauty was enhanced by Botox InjectionsRecently I visited the Golden State, specifically the Hollywood area and was quite shocked to see the women of Sunset and Vine had unusually large butts and lips.  My cousin, who I was visiting explained this abnormality noting that for some reason the women of tinsel town felt that inflated butts and lips made them more attractive to members of the opposite sex and likewise members of the same sex for those so inclined.
Read more..... 
______________________________
  Shocking Explanation given by FBI for losing Trump Hating Lover's Text

What a tangled web we weave when first we try to deceive!
______________________________ 
California Millennial's to Leave USA and Form new Nation of 'Safespaceistan'

Efforts by the residents of California to secede from the US haven’t yet received sufficient support to be realized. Consequently, a revolutionary group of Californian millennial's have decided to found their own country in unpopulated territory in Oman, near the Yemeni border.
Read more,,,,,, 
______________________________ 
Is Donald Trump the Reincarnation of Sam Houston

Coming soon to a town near you.  Open border Democrats would allow anyone to enter into the United States.  That is anyone they believe would vote for them.  Of course that would eliminate those from eastern European countries.  Progressive Dems fully realized those poor souls has witnessed the folly of the Socialist State while under the domination of the old USSR and would be unlikely candidates for future Democratic voters.
Read more..... 
______________________________ 
Democrats Shutdown Government to show their Support for Crime in the United States

It is becoming quite clear that most in the Democratic Party support illegal aliens in their law-breaking rampage across America.  They have in fact shutdown the government to show their support of the alien community in what can only be described as illegal acts.  They not only prevent ICE federal officers from enforcing their duties in sanctuary cities, but are now trying to hold the patriotic men and women of our armed forces hostage by not paying them while they put their lives on the line in defense of the nation.
Read more..... 
______________________________ 
ICE Raids homes and buildings flying Mexican Flag in San Francisco

Earlier today thousands of ICE agents were seen landing on California beaches just south of San Francisco.  They are apparently raiding homes and businesses flying the Mexican National flag.  Additionally dozens were seen entering state and local government buildings and removing officials in handcuffs.  It has been further noted that hundreds of heavily armed agents have parachuted into Sacramento and are at this time surrounding the governor's mansion with an arrest warrant for governor 'Moonbeam' Brown.
Read more.....
______________________________ 
Shocking: President Trump's Annual Medical Examine Reveals Small Callus on Right Index Finger

Following President Trump's annual Medical examine at Walter Reed National Military Medical Center the President's physician, Rear Admiral Ronny Jackson took the podium at the White House Daily briefing to answer questions regarding the President's health.  As one might expect, the questions centered on Trump's mental health.  Dr. Jackson announced that Trump's cognitive score (a screen for neurological abnormalities) was a perfect 30.  The news conference went down hill from that point with questions about how much ice cream, Hamburgers, and diet cokes the president consumed.
Read more..... 
______________________________

Sunday, January 28, 2018

TOTUS: News, Satire, and Opinion Jan. 29, 2018

Trump's SOTU Speech on Steroids

We all know, by this time, that our 45th President is a man that speaks his mind.  We have no idea what Donald may say at his SOTU speech.  You just have to follow the below link to see what, I suspect Trump will be thinking as he looks out at those gathered in the House chambers.
 ______________________________
Wash Hands before Touching Exotic Robotic Pole Dancers

Finally Vegas strip clubs have solved that age old problem of customers groping the Pole Dancers.  Some Las Vegas gentleman's clubs are now featuring erotic robotic dancers.  Apparently, the only requirement is that potential male gropers wash their hands thoroughly upon entering the establishment. Read more..... 
______________________________
Will Wooden Dildos replace Planet Destroying Plastic ones in California?

I'm old enough to remember the day when Paper Bags were condemned by those on the left as a 'real and present danger' to the forest of America.  At that time our astute neighbor to the south, Mexico was using those glorious plastic bags at the markets and tourist shops.  The Mexican Government was seen as the champion of the Green Movement.  
______________________________
Shocking: California Plastic Surgeons report astronomical increase among women for Botox Butt Enhancement Injections

Just recently, it was reported that a number of camels in a Saudi beauty contest were disqualified after it was discovered their beauty was enhanced by Botox InjectionsRecently I visited the Golden State, specifically the Hollywood area and was quite shocked to see the women of Sunset and Vine had unusually large butts and lips.  My cousin, who I was visiting explained this abnormality noting that for some reason the women of tinsel town felt that inflated butts and lips made them more attractive to members of the opposite sex and likewise members of the same sex for those so inclined.
Read more..... 
______________________________
  Shocking Explanation given by FBI for losing Trump Hating Lover's Text

What a tangled web we weave when first we try to deceive!
______________________________ 
California Millennial's to Leave USA and Form new Nation of 'Safespaceistan'

Efforts by the residents of California to secede from the US haven’t yet received sufficient support to be realized. Consequently, a revolutionary group of Californian millennial's have decided to found their own country in unpopulated territory in Oman, near the Yemeni border.
Read more,,,,,, 
______________________________ 
Is Donald Trump the Reincarnation of Sam Houston

Coming soon to a town near you.  Open border Democrats would allow anyone to enter into the United States.  That is anyone they believe would vote for them.  Of course that would eliminate those from eastern European countries.  Progressive Dems fully realized those poor souls has witnessed the folly of the Socialist State while under the domination of the old USSR and would be unlikely candidates for future Democratic voters.
Read more..... 
______________________________ 
Democrats Shutdown Government to show their Support for Crime in the United States

It is becoming quite clear that most in the Democratic Party support illegal aliens in their law-breaking rampage across America.  They have in fact shutdown the government to show their support of the alien community in what can only be described as illegal acts.  They not only prevent ICE federal officers from enforcing their duties in sanctuary cities, but are now trying to hold the patriotic men and women of our armed forces hostage by not paying them while they put their lives on the line in defense of the nation.
Read more..... 
______________________________ 
ICE Raids homes and buildings flying Mexican Flag in San Francisco

Earlier today thousands of ICE agents were seen landing on California beaches just south of San Francisco.  They are apparently raiding homes and businesses flying the Mexican National flag.  Additionally dozens were seen entering state and local government buildings and removing officials in handcuffs.  It has been further noted that hundreds of heavily armed agents have parachuted into Sacramento and are at this time surrounding the governor's mansion with an arrest warrant for governor 'Moonbeam' Brown.
Read more.....
______________________________ 
Shocking: President Trump's Annual Medical Examine Reveals Small Callus on Right Index Finger

Following President Trump's annual Medical examine at Walter Reed National Military Medical Center the President's physician, Rear Admiral Ronny Jackson took the podium at the White House Daily briefing to answer questions regarding the President's health.  As one might expect, the questions centered on Trump's mental health.  Dr. Jackson announced that Trump's cognitive score (a screen for neurological abnormalities) was a perfect 30.  The news conference went down hill from that point with questions about how much ice cream, Hamburgers, and diet cokes the president consumed.
Read more..... 
______________________________

Tuesday, June 6, 2017

TOTUS: News, Humor and Satire


Washington Monument Toppled in 

Terrorist Attack on Nation's Capital.  More.....


           

 Kathy Griffin and Hillary Clinton  to go 

 on Historic "BooHoo" Tour of America.       More.....


Pentagon releases previously classified 

image of epic WWII Submarine Battle  More.....




The Rebirth of Patriotic Nationalism.  I applaud President Trump for withdrawing from the Paris Climate Accord.  More.....




Salvadoran Officials Overwhelmed by Returning Deported Gang Members (Trump kicked them out)!  More.....




Some in the media accuse Trump of fomenting terrorist attacks in order to push his Islamophobic agenda  More.....

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Monday, March 23, 2009

TOTUS Monument

Inside sources at the White House have now confirmed that plans have been drawn up for the construction of a new monument in the nations capital. Although, the plans are somewhat sketchy, at this time some details have emerged. Funds for the new structure will come from items hidden in the new budget proposal under the Department of the Interior (cost is rumored to be an astounding 400 billion dollars). The new structure will reach a towering 1110 ft. and 10 2/8 inches high, thereby doubling the height of the Washington Monument which reaches a height of 555 ft and 5 1/8 inches. Studies to change existing laws governing the height of structures in the nations capital are now being undertaken in secret committee meetings in both the House and Senate. It has also been learned that some White House staffers have been sent to Brazil and have approached the chairman of the DNPM, Department of Mineral Production about the purchase of the worlds largest quartz crystal now housed at the Museum of Earth Sciences in Rio de Janiero. This amazing crystal weights a unbelievable 90,000 pounds (the need for this enormous crystal in the construction of the monument remains unclear, at this time). In addition our sources have learned that contacts have been made with Tiomin Resource Inc.--a multi-national company with large holdings in Kenya. Orders have already been placed with their mines at Mambrui, Kilifi and Kwale on the eastern Kenyan coast; for vast quantities of titanium that will be needed in this monument.

Mystery has surrounded this structure. What is it going to be? What is its purpose? Will it be a great monument to America's first black president. Finally the truth is out and we have the full picture. Welcome to the "Age of TOTUS". by Ron Russell
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TOTUS

Sunday, March 22, 2009

TOTUS and Obama

The sad truth is now coming out about our new president, the great orator. He is totally lost without his best friend and his constant companion TOTUS. In case you missed it TeleprOmpTer of the U S. Yes you've got it now--our real president is not Obama but TOTUS. Have you noticed, when this great orator speaks extemporaneously he is totally lost---a babbling fool. True Bush was a bad speaker, but at least he could speak off the cuff. This idiot, this incompetent is absolutely left groping for words without his friend TOTUS.

I use to think he was a great snake-oil salesman, but in the past few weeks I've come to the conclusion that he is not even that. This man, this great orator, this great tingle going up Chris Matthews leg couldn't sale virgins to a terrorist---unless he had TOTUS with him. Obama's handlers have created a myth and I'm afraid, a monster, that may in the end consume us all.


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