Fly the Friendly Skies Naked as a Jaybird

TSA CHECKPOINTS MAY SOON BE A THING OF THE PAST AS AL-QAEDA IS REPORTED TO HAVE DEVELOPED A EXPLOSIVE THAT WHEN CLOTHES ARE WASHED IN IT THEN DRIED IT BECOMES VIRTUALLY UNDETECTABLE.  THAT WOULD REQUIRE  ALL FUTURE AIR-TRAVELERS BOARD PLANES IN THE NUDE, THEREBY ELIMINATING THE NEED FOR TSA GROPERS. AND THOSE INFAMOUS X-RAY MACHINES.  MEMBERS OF "ANAL" AMERICAN NUDIST ASSOCIATION LIMITED ARE REPORTED TO BE ECSTATIC OVER THIS NEW DEVELOPMENT.  PRESIDENT OBAMA IS REPORTLY PREPARING  TO HAVE THE TSA ENFORCE NEW REGULATIONS ON NUDE FLYING.  HOWEVER, IN KEEPING WITH PAST TRADITIONS OF NOT HAVING MEMBERS OF THE GOVERNMENT COMPLY WITH EXISTING RULES AND REGULATIONS GOVERNING THE GENERAL PUBLIC, THOSE MEMBERS OF HIS STAFF AND THE MEMBERS OF CONGRESS WILL BE EXEMPT FROM THIS NEW "EXECUTIVE ACTION".  THE OBAMA ADMINISTRATION IS QUICK TO POINT OUT THAT THIS NEW EXECUTIVE ACTION WILL SAVE AMERICANS MILLIONS OF DOLLARS IN CLOTHING COST WHILE AT THE SAME TIME ADVANCING HIS GOAL OF EQUALITY FOR THE TEEMING MASSES.  BUT AT THE SAME TIME HE IS ASSURING MEMBERS OF HIS STAFF, THAT THESE RULES WILL NOT BE ENFORCED ON AIRFORCE ONE OR ON ANY PRIVATE FLIGHTS ACROSS THE NATION.  AFTER ALL, OBAMA EXCLAIMED, SUCH RULES AND REGULATIONS ARE NOT MEANT FOR ELITE BUREAUCRATS.  WHO AFTER ALL ARE NEEDED PUBLIC SERVANTS JUST DOING THE PEOPLES BUSINESS.