Heck of a Day

There I was sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a large, trouble-making biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig. 

 "Well, whatcha' gonna do about it?" he says, menacingly, as I burst into tears. 

 "Come on, man," the biker says, "I didn't think you'd CRY. I can't stand to see a man crying." 

"This is the worst day of my life," I say. "I'm a complete failure. I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don't have any insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my wife with another man... and then my dog bit me." "So I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all, I buy a drink, I drop a capsule in and sit here watching the poison dissolve; and then you show up and drink the whole damn thing! 

"But, Heck, enough about me, how are you doing?"