Wednesday, October 4, 2017

Venezuela, N. Korea offer asylum to oppressed NFL players

The governments of Venezuela and North Korea came out today offering asylum to those oppressed NFL players who refuse to stand for the National Anthem. 

"We understand how oppressive that song can be and if you accept our offer, you will never have to hear it again," said a joint spokesperson. "We would also invite them to deposit their funds in our banks and invest in our countries. It would be worthwhile." 

The governments also reminded the players that they are still owned by capitalist team owners so we understand their oppression is real. 

Meanwhile Nancy Pelosi, Charles Schumer and their mascot Maxine Waters have introduced legislation to ban the playing of the Star Spangled Banner at all sporting events. 

A spokesperson for the Democratic party said that the Democrats kneel in solidarity with the players and understand the oppression that the song represents: "We feel that the old Soviet Anthem is more in line with party-approved thought and besides, it has a much catchier tune.
  Looking at the history of the American Anthem, it was once a bawdy drinking song and is no longer appropriate, considering it was written by a privileged white male." 

Maxine Waters added that Trump should be impeached for introducing such an oppressive song.  Thanks to The People's Cube

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