Harvard Conservative Club awarded Presidential of Freedom Medal by President Trump

After providing their favorite liberal professor with an all expense paid safari to Kenya the students at the Harvard  Campus Conservative Club have been awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom by President Trump.  This prestigious honor was bestowed on the Clubs 3 members for their above and beyond humanitarian efforts in assisting their distraught teacher overcome his grief brought on by the election of Donald Trump!  When asked how they felt about receiving the nation's highest civilian award the three replied, "we only wish we could have done more.  Next time, we'll try and send at least a dozen of more of our deserving professors on this life-changing adventure."

And for those morbid souls who are wondering what book the deserving professor was reading when he came face to face with the real world.  Well, that remains somewhat of a mystery because two books were found among the remains at the campsite---one was Karl Marx's, Das Kapital and the other Barack Obama's, Dreams from my Father.    

Trump teaches Harvard Grad how to draw a red line

A proud graduate of our most elite Ivy League school, Harvard, after some 8 years of attempting to draw a red line has finally been taught that lost art by a lowly alumni of the Wharton School of Business at the University of Pennsylvania.  We are not certain of the reason for this failure on the part of the Harvard graduate.  However, some enlightened unbiased observers have noted his crayon was not big enough!  

HOWEVER, IN ALL FAIRNESS TO HARVARD IT SHOULD BE NOTED THAT THE GRADUATE IN QUESTION HAS NEVER PROVIDED COPIES OF HIS RECORDS FROM THAT UNIVERSITY, OR ANY TRANSCRIPTS OF HIS TIME AT COLUMBIA UNIVERSITY OR AT OCCIDENTAL COLLEGE WHEN HE DID HIS UNDER GRADUATE WORK. .

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