Tuesday, May 21, 2013

What not to Name your Dog

Most people name their dogs "Rover" or "Tag".  I called mine SEX.

This dog has been very embarrassing to me.  When I took him to City Hall to get his license renewed.  I told the clerk I wanted a license for Sex.  He said he would like to have one too.  "but you don't understand I've had Sex since I was nine year old."  The clerk said I must have been quite a kid.
When I got married and went on my honeymoon.  I took the dog with me.  When I went to the motel clerk I said, "I want a suite for wife with a special room for Sex.  The motel clerk said every room in the motel was for sex.  I said, "but you don't understand, Sex keeps me awake at night.  The clerk said, "me too".
I went to enter the dog in a contest, but before he showed he ran off.  Another contestant asked me why I was standing around.  I told him I was hoping  to have Sex in the contest.  He said I should have sold my own tickets.  I said, "you don't understand, I wanted to have Sex on TV."  He called me a show off.
When my wife and I separated we went to court to fight for custody of the dog.  I told the judge, "your honor, I had Sex before we were married."  The judge said, "me too."  I said, "but you don't understand, after my marriage Sex left me".  The judge said, "me too".
The other day the dog ran away again and I spent hours looking for him in town.  A policeman came up to me and asked what I was doing in this alley at 1 o'clock in the morning.  I said I was looking for Sex. 
My case comes up this Friday. 
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