Following the election of Donald J. Trump as President actuarial tables have shown a sudden spike in the suicide rate among certain specific groups. These outbreaks are confined to University Campuses and urban areas. Whereas rural areas of middle America seem unaffected by this mysterious ailment. Statistics have revealed that not only have self-inflicted death rates increased, for some obscure reason the demand for twinkies, zoom zoom's and wam wam's soared. Leaving the confectionery companies scrambling to meet the increased demand for what amounts to adult pacifiers. Mental health specialist at the nation's top institutions (nut houses), have endorsed a recently developed medication for this spreading disorder---"The Impeachment of Donald Trump"!
Breaking News: Doctors at the CDC, Communicable Disease Center in Atlanta have isolated and identified the bug responsible for this growing world wide threat. This mind-altering danger to humanity is being called----TRUMPOZOA!