Two Aliens and well endowed Earthling

Two aliens landed in a very remote section of an Arizona desert. After a long walk they come to an abandon gas station. One of the two approached the gas pump, thinking it to be an inhabitant of the planet and said, "greetings Earthling, take us to you leader".  

Of course there was no reply. Where upon the first alien repeated his words, "greeting Earthling, take us to you leader." Again there was silence. The Alien was getting mad and drew his ray gun and repeated the message, "take me to your leader or I'll shoot." The second Alien said, "don't shoot"! But before the words has scarcely passed his lips the first Alien fires. 

There is a huge explosion, tossing the two hundreds of yards. After coming around, the first Alien asked the second, "how did you know these earthlings were so mean. The second replies, after years of traveling the galaxy I have learned you never mess with a man whose pecker is so long he can wrap it around himself twice and then stick it in his ear.

Be careful what you say in Texas

A man walked into a cowboy bar and ordered a beer just as President Clinton came on the TV. After a few sips he looked up at the screen and mumbled, "Now there is the biggest horse's ass I've ever seen." Immediately a customer at the end of the bar got up, walked over, decked him and left. A few minutes later, the man was finishing his beer when Hillary Clinton appeared on the TV. "She's a horse's ass too," he said. A customer from the other end of the bar got up, walked over and knocked him off his stool. "Dadgum!" the man said, climbing back up to the bar. "This must be Clinton country." "Nope," the bartender replied, "Horse country!"

Rule 5: Rabbit and Bear

One day in the great forest, a magical frog was walking down to a water hole. This forest was so big that the frog had never seen another animal in all his life. By chance, today, a bear was chasing after a rabbit to have for dinner. The frog called for the two to stop. The frog said, "Because you are the only two animals I have seen, I will grant you both three wishes. Bear, you go first." The bear thought for a minute, and being the male he was, said, "I wish for all the bears in this forest, besides me, to be female." For his wish, the rabbit asked for a crash helmet, and immediately put it on. The bear was amazed at the stupidity of the rabbit, wasting his wish like that. It was the bear's second turn for a wish. "Well, I wish that all the bears in the next forest were female as well." The rabbit asked for a motorcycle and immediately hopped on it and gunned the engine. The bear was shocked that the rabbit was asking for these stupid things, after all, he could have asked for money and bought the motorcycle. For the last wish the bear thought for a while and then said, "I wish that all the bears in the world, besides me, were female." The rabbit grinned, gunned the engine, and said, "I wish that the bear was gay."

Alt-Left Creed

BERKELEY:  CITADEL OF FREE SPEECH

"VIOLENCE IN THE NAME OF LIBERALISM 

IS NO VICE 

AND DEBATE IN THE NAME OF CONSERVATISM 

IS NO VIRTUE." 

I finally figured out how to spell 'Progressive', it's Neo-Fascist

I'm a simple man with only a Master's degree 

from a lowly state university.  

It took me a while, 

but finally figured out how to spell 'progressive'.  

It was right in front of me all the time--'Neo-Fascist'!

President Trump pledges $10,000,000 to support Earth Day Project

Saturday we will celebrate the 47 annual Earth Day.  Over the years the sponsors have initiated numerous projects to return Mother Earth to her pristine state.  This year, however the organizers have outdone themselves.  They have determined the only way to stop the pollution of the planet is one person at a time.  Therefore they have asked all true believers to make the ultimate sacrifice and KILL THEMSELVES in order to reduce the amount of CO2 gases emitted into the atmosphere.  Accordingly the Board of Directors for Earth Day are installing a massive slab of Brazilian Granite on the grounds of the United Nations in NYC.  A slab on which the names of all, who put Mother Earth above Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness will be inscribed.  However, it should be noted that those over the age of 65 will not qualify for this honor, as their emissions of bodily gases is limited due to their advancing years.  But should anyone over the maximum age choose to take that final leap of faith, their names will be recorded in a large book to be donated to the Library of Congress in Washington.  At this time, I would be remiss if I failed to mention that the younger those participating in this grand project are---the higher their names will appear on granite marker.  The Board of Directors in hoping that many millennial's with take advantage of this once in a lifetime offer.
President Trump has just announced that in order to get the ball rolling he is pledging a $1,000 donation for each of the first 10,000 millennial's that take that final plunge.  That would come to some $10 million dollars.  Making him the biggest contributor to date for the Earth Day Foundation.        

12 Images of how the Left sees America

RACIST

NOT RACIST

POOR BLACK CHILDREN HAVING TO PICK COTTON

CHILDREN OF DUMB CRACKERS
FORCED TO PICK COTTON

OMG! HOW RACIST CAN YOU GET!

POOR KID, DOESN'T KNOW HIS FATHER SUFFERS
FROM WHITE PRIVILEGE

POOR MISUNDERSTOOD FATHERLESS
BLACK MAN BEATEN BY RACIST WHITE COP.

IF HE WOULD HAVE JUST TURNED OVER
THE MONEY IN THE CASH RESISTER TO THE
BLACK ROBBER THIS WOULD HAVE NEVER HAPPENED.

RACIST ALL WHITE COUNTRY CLUB WEDDING

INCLUSIVE ALL BLACK CONGRESSIONAL CAUCUS

POOR BLACK KIDS JUST LETTING
OFF A LITTLE STEAM
ON A HOT SUMMER DAY

STORM TROOPERS SQUASHING
THE RIGHTS OF PEACEFUL PROTESTERS. 

This is for liberals everywhere, but especially those

 close-minded snowflakes at Harvard and Berkeley!

Dissidents in Venezuela are on the verge of over-throwning the Socialist Government of Nicolas Maduro

After over a decade of living under socialism the people of Venezuela have apparently had enough of the utter failure of the socialist state first under Hugo Chavez and now under Nicolas Maduro.  Remember when the socialist of Chavez first came to power how those on the American left praised the change with many Hollywood elites actually making the trek to that nation to break bread with the leaders of what amounted to another communist revolution in Latin American.  Now that socialism as emptied the shelves in the stores, the people of one of that oil rich nations find themselves starving in many cases.  In short, the shit is about to hit the fan in that socialist nation.  One must wonder in the young socialist on American college campuses will take note.  Hell I would venture a guess, they couldn't even find that country on a fricking map.  Read more on the breaking news out of Venezuela in the Breitbart article below. 

Dissidents participating in what Venezuela’s opposition dubbed the “mother of all protests” Wednesday faced gang attacks, tear gas, and other repressive tactics by state police and civilian militias alike. Dictator Nicolás Maduro announced a plan Monday to arm as many as one million chavistas seeking to join government-sponsored gangs on Tuesday in anticipation of the protest. Addressing a socialist rally on Monday, Maduro announced he would begin expanding the ranks of the National Bolivarian Militia, a creation of late dictator Hugo Chávez meant to arm radical socialists in a nation where legally owning firearms outside of such groups is banned.  Read more....

The Crime rate of Blacks against Whites is 200 times of that of Whites against Blacks

Any person whether white or black is or should be aware that the crime rate of blacks against whites is much higher than the reverse.  Anyone occasionally picking up a newspaper or watching the nightly news on TV knows this.  And the reality is that the rates are much higher than are reported.  It seems that many cities have attempted to mask the racial identity of those committing crimes in order to to preserve the myth that it's the white cop or white nationalist that is unmercifully preying on the docile black man.  Why is it that liberals scream for the identity of the white man who commits an act against a black, be plastered across the media.  While at the same time shout racism when the black criminal is exposed.  And why do so many in the media refuse, if possible, to identify the race of a criminal---unless he is that hated evil white man.  Could it just be those in the newsrooms of America are products of our great universities, that teach their impressionable young captive audience that it is the white man who is responsible for all the world's problems.  Their was a time when the black man had a legitimate gripe---in the days of the short rope and the tall tree.  Those days are gone.  Today, it's the innocent convenience store white employee versus the black thug with that Saturday-night special.  I don't expect these stats to change anytime soon.  And they will never change as long as progressives continue to make excuses for those black criminals who prey on whites while maintaining that, the occasional white criminal who preys on blacks is nothing more than a racist.  Just yesterday, in Fresno, CA a black man killed 3 white men just because they were white.  Or maybe, they just got in the way of his bullet.  After all stray bullets kill people every day---just look at Chicago.  Of course, in those parts of the windy city most afflicted by stray bullets, the vast majority of the people living there are black.  And as a result, most the victims of lead poisoning are likewise black.  Occasionally however, some dumb pimpled-face cracker will wonder into that vast no-man's land and fall victim to black gang members.  Gang members who are little more than cowardly punks who only find courage in numbers and wouldn't confront a pussy cat when it's one-on-one.  Shit, I could go on and on, but honestly it just wouldn't do any good.  Presenting the facts to liberals or progressive politicians in the big cities is akin to trying to feed your dog lettuce.

    

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Trump teaches Harvard Grad how to draw a red line

A proud graduate of our most elite Ivy League school, Harvard, after some 8 years of attempting to draw a red line has finally been taught that lost art by a lowly alumni of the Wharton School of Business at the University of Pennsylvania.  We are not certain of the reason for this failure on the part of the Harvard graduate.  However, some enlightened unbiased observers have noted his crayon was not big enough!  

HOWEVER, IN ALL FAIRNESS TO HARVARD IT SHOULD BE NOTED THAT THE GRADUATE IN QUESTION HAS NEVER PROVIDED COPIES OF HIS RECORDS FROM THAT UNIVERSITY, OR ANY TRANSCRIPTS OF HIS TIME AT COLUMBIA UNIVERSITY OR AT OCCIDENTAL COLLEGE WHEN HE DID HIS UNDER GRADUATE WORK. .

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Rule 5: Sue Ann Langdon

Hollywood movie queen from the mid 1960's.  Played in a number of movies and TV shows.  My favorite from those years was the movie "The Rounders with Sue Ann, Glenn Ford and Henry Fonda.  You may recall it.

******************************

SHOWN HERE WITH 007

WITH  THE 'KING'

SKINNY DIPPING WITH FONDA AND FORD AT A STATE FISH HATCHERY IN 'THE ROUNDERS'

******************************

Other Rule 5 Sites:  Give them a Peek

Doubletroubletwo

 Goodstuff's Cyber World

The Vulgar Curmudgeon

The Feral Irishman

Rule 5 Sites

 Proof Positive

 Randy's Roundtable 

 Teresamerica 

 Woodsterman
 In A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World
 Old Retired Petty Officer
 Knuckledraggin My Life Away
 American Perspective
The Daley Gator
 Jake Finnegan
 SayanythingBlog
The Last Tradition
 The Other McCain
 Maggie's Notebook
 The Camp of the Saints
 Pirate's Cove
The Classic Liberal

 90 Miles from Tyranny

TOTUS

Obama Cartoons

Defeat Obama Toons

Political Incorrect Cartoons
Guns and Bikinis

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MOAB Dating Service providing ultimate hookup between ISIS and 72 Virgins

Following the unqualified success of President Trump's dating service 'MOAB' targeted directly at ISIS members.   Top executives  at  both 'Match and eHarmony' are  scrambling to bridge the growing dating gap caused by the explosive nature of MOAB.  With the CEO of eHarmony offering those ISIS members who switch, 73 USDA approved Virgins.  The staff at 'Match' are still struggling for innovative ways to lure ISIS members back into the fold.  With one staff member floating the idea of offering one beautiful Russian girl here on earth instead of the promised 72 in paradise.  

The Grand War of no Destruction between the United States and Russia

A day in the not too distant future finds the President, his cabinet and members of the Joint Chiefs sitting in the White House War Room.  They calmly watch as computer screens show an enemy missile headed toward the newest American aircraft carrier, the USS Donald J. Trump on station in the Persian Gulf.  Despite counter measures the doomed warship with it's 3000+ member crew is unable to evade the attack.  Shortly after, the War Room computers reveal retaliatory action against the Russian Naval base at Tartus in Syria.

Just a little over a week following the attack on the USS Donald J. Trump, the huge nuclear powered carrier enters it's home port at Norfolk, VA.  to the cheers of family members anxious to see their loved ones after their long deployment.  The reunions are brief as all crew members of the Carrier have been ordered to report to a top secret facility somewhere in the Appalachian Chain.  While some 4000 miles to the East, thousands of Russians are loaded on ships headed for an undisclosed location in Crimea.

What these thousands of Americans and Russians do not know is their number has been punched and their extermination ordained in the protracted war between the United States and the Russian Confederation.  A war that assures no destruction of valued infrastructure.  A war where the only casualties of a grand computer game between the great powers, of simulated attacks, is one that guarantees only the loss of our most abundant resource---the human being.

I either saw or read a story to this effect some many years ago.  One in which the only causality of  war was human and not property.  I think it was back in the late 1960's that the U.S. was in the process of developing what was referred to as a Neutron Bomb.  Basically a bomb that would kill humans instantly with little damage to structures.  Because of protest by the Russians and protest by others production of the "N" bomb was shelved.  What caused me to remember these events was the recent use of the MOAB in Afghanistan.  Actually the MOAB, although destructive was less than 1/000th that of the little nuke delivered to Hiroshima by the Enola Gay in WWII.  One could say it was like dropping a BB on an anthill.  There was a story in Tolstoy's 'War and Peace' about a Russian colonel who was presented with a group of French prisoners during Napoleon's retreat from Moscow, asked by his subordinate what to do with them.  The Russian officers reply was brief and to the point, "shoot them, I don't take prisoners.  War is not some game!"  I wonder if we are approaching the point where collateral damage will refer to property and not human beings.  Perhaps, simulated computer wars will one day save our great cities---those that are worth saving.  But in war there must be a cost or it has no purpose.  Damn, today I have moved over to the dark side.  

    

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POCAHONTAS: The First American Liberal

Pocahontas, daughter of the great chief Powhatan of the mighty Tsenacommacah nation pleas with her father to spare the life of Captain John Smith and allow him and the other migrants to remain in the land.  The Chief respects his daughter's wishes, believing she must be right.  After all Pocahontas, is a recent graduate  of Know-it-all University in his nation's capital at Werowocomoco.  Thus began the assimilation of the white man into the American Indian Nation.  Or to put it another way, the Native American's first step toward the reservation.

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Putin searching Archives for Dossier confirming Trump's collusion with Russia during Election

Following President Trump's recent attack on Russia's primary ally in the Middle East, Syria.  Vladimir Putin is said to be outraged and has ordered Sergey Lavrov, the Russian foreign minister to turn over the dossier on Trump's collusion with KGB agents during the last U.S. election so they could be forwarded to the DNC (Democratic National Committee).  However, after an extensive search of the Kremlin archives no such document was found.  On a related note, Foreign Minister Lavrov was found dead at his Moscow estate earlier today.  ITAR-TASS, a state controlled media outlet is reporting that Sergey Lavrov fell victim to the traditional parlor game of 'Russian Roulette'.  But some are questioning why the only empty chamber in the revolver was the one that fired the fatal shot. 

We are pleased that this post was picked up by the 

IOTW Report

Painted Ladies, Dime a Dance Halls and more

Yes, that's Clark Gable, the King of the silver screen.  Many of the old westerners featured the Saloon Dance Hall girl.  There sole function in real life was to entertain the dusty and I should add often stinking cowboy who came through those swinging doors.  Doors that lead to a paradise in those distant days.  Whiskey, beer, gambling, dancing and that all important trip to the back room.  Today, most of these delights have been outlawed in one form or another, but nevertheless came be found in every town and hamlet across the nation.  Below are images of the painted ladies, dance hall queens, taxi dancers (dime a dance girls) and scenes from before and after the Great War and WWII.

______________________________

ONE MUST WONDER HOW MANY COWBOYS CROSSED HER THRESHOLD FOR A FAST 'POKE'

JUST WHAT IS SHE TRYING TO TELL US?

THIS ONE LOOKS A LITTLE ON THE YOUNG SIDE!

THE OCCUPATION HAD IT'S DANGERS

VERY OFTEN THERE WAS A SHORTAGE OF WOMEN!

SHE LOOKS PRETTY GOOD

THINGS HAVEN'T REALLY CHANGED THAT MUCH!

WASP WAIST

______________________________

It was not the cowboys that packed heat

ANNIE OAKLEY WAS A REAL PERSON AND NOT JUST SOME MYTH

WONDER WHERE THEIR MEN FOLK ARE?

DON'T KNOW WHO THIS GAL IS, BUT NEVER MESS WITH A GIRL WITH A SHOTGUN!

OBVIOUSLY A FAKE BACK DROP, BUT THAT WAS COMMON IN THESE OLD PHOTOS

______________________________

Women of the Barbary Coast

I'M SURE MOST OF YOU KNOW THAT THE BARBARY COAST WAS THAT AREA AROUND THE SAN FRANCISCO AREA.

WAITING FOR THE NEXT CUSTOMER

THEY LOOK A LITTLE YOUNG, BUT REMEMBER THERE WERE NO AGE LIMITS BACK THEN.  KIND OF SOUNDS LIKE TODAY!

ONE THING FOR CERTAIN, THIS WAS TAKEN EITHER BEFORE OR AFTER HER LATEST TRICK!

______________________________

Taxi Dances  1930's  -  

I suppose 'taxi dancers' have been around in one form or another since the beginning of civilization, but the term didn't come into use until the 1930's or so.  I recall my days in service and the time spend aboard the USS Yorktown whose home port was Long Beach, CA.  Often when in port on Friday or Saturday night I would go up to L.A. and spend the evening on Spring Street at a local Taxi dance establishment.  There you would by your tickets at the door and later give them to the  young ladies as you danced with them.  No back rooms there.  I do recall one girl from New York.  Jodie Conte, I became a regular--very regular of her and found myself invited to her small apartment after a few weeks.  Don't need to say more.  I should add, the Taxi Dance clubs were often referred to as 'Dime a Dance' clubs.  Honestly, I can't recall how much I had to pay per ticket back in those days.  It didn't seem to matter---it was just Jodie!!!

WAITING TO GET THEIR HANDS ON THE NEXT TICKET.  THEY CASHED THEM IN AT THE END OF THE EVENING.

______________________________

World War II GI's

YOU WOULDN'T HAVE KNOWN IT THEN, BUT THESE YOUNG PEOPLE TURNED OUT TO BE AMERICA'S GREATEST GENERATION.

Germans World War II

DER FUHRER WAS WATCHING

Russians World War II

THE 'REDS' HAD A LOT OF VODKA AFTER THIS

Post World War II Japan

THEY SAY TO THE VICTOR BELONG THE SPOILS

I HAVE LITTLE USE FOR WOMEN WHO WAIVE THE FLAG AS THEIR MEN MARCH OFF TO WAR AND THEN EMBRACE THE VICTORS ON THE OTHER SIDE AS THEIR MEN LAY DEAD IN THE GRAVE.  HOWEVER, I UNDERSTAND THE GI's PICTURED HERE!

Gimme that Rock and Roll

Rule 5's Pick of the Day

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