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Friday, May 23, 2014

CONCEALED GUN FOUND IN BUSH!

Be sure to read the comments at end of this article---great one-liners!
APRIL 22--A 19-year-old Tennessee woman had loaded handgun hidden in vagina when brought into jail following collar for driving with suspended license. As Dallas Archer was being booked into Kingsport jail, female corrections officer alerted to “unknown object” in teenager’s crotch during search. Jailer and female cop accompanied Archer to bathroom for examination led to recovery of “North American Arms 22 LR revolver (loaded) which Ms. Dallas had concealed in vagina,” according to a Kingsport Police Department report. Check revealed five -shot mini revolver--four inches in length--had been “stolen from auto burglary in 2013.” Handgun, valued at $250, is owned by John Souther, 70-year-old retired car salesman. Souther said gun was taken from his 1994 Mustang, last year while parked in his Kingsport carport. Police told him revolver had been recovered, but offered no details. When told where gun had been stashed, Souther said, “Oh, gosh.” He noted that he would eventually like “the little fellow” returned, but added that the weapon would require “a bath.” News of the weapon in Archer’s vagina was first reported by Kingsport Times-News. Archer, was charged with gun possession and introducing contraband into penal facility. According to jail official, Archer was released from custody after posting $6,000 bond.  Posted one-liners. A few relate to the article, so read it first! 

1.  ​I thought it was her gun. Turns out it was snatched! 
2.   Gives new meaning to "hair trigger". 
3.   Happiness is warm gun? 
4.  At four inches it comes....... half cocked. 
5.  "For sale AA22LR never used; still in box." 
6.  Report reads, "...Introducing contraband into penal facility." Shouldn't that be 'penis' facility? 
7.  If it went off, could you call it her 'boom box'? 
8.  Every vagina is to be treated as if loaded. Keep pointed in safe direction. 
9.  They say it was gun, but something smells fishy. 
10.You can have my gun when you can pry it from my cold, stinking... 
11.Accident waiting to happen, could 'shoot beaver'. 
12.I have heard of shooting your mouth off, but this takes on a "hole" new meaning. 
13.Complete reversal on classic, "Is that pistol in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?" 
14.I wonder if she had 'gun-areah'? 
15.Gives a whole new meaning to "Vaginal Discharge".
16.Gun in hand is worth 2 in bush? 
17.Uses 'rim shot' ammo.

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3 comments:

Sandee said...

Bwahahahahahahaha. This is funnier than heck.

Have a fabulous day Ron. :)

Proof said...

I guess size does matter!

Kid said...

I saw a story in the news in the last few months of a woman who tried to smuggle a full size 38 revolver in this body cavity.

I did a search of "woman smuggles 38 in her vagina" and there are a Number of stories... wow.