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Saturday, November 28, 2009

Tiger Woods on the Wrong End of His No.1 Iron

Golfing great Tiger Woods mysterious 2AM crash outside his upscale home is now solved. The great golfer after a heated exchange with his wife over an affair with a New York socialite found himself confronted by his wife wheeling his trusty #1 iron. As his wife flew into an uncontrollable rage and began swinging the club wildly Tiger fled the house for the safety of his Cadillac Ecaslade with the angry wife in hot pursuit. Locking his doors behind him the angry wife followed, and began hitting the car with the golf club causing the great golfer to stomp the accelerator in an attempt to flee his wife, who by this time was in a complete jealous rage. I don't know what Tiger was expecting for this is "par for the course" for the "hole-in-one" he scored in the Big Apple. Tiger is fortunate in that he is a great golfer and not a member of the U.S. Pistol team. Until this hour the Tiger, who now seems more like a little pussy cat, has refused to talk to police about this incident and has lawyered up, perhaps still feeling the sting of Elin's wrath. This is just my account of that evening and is pure speculation, but it does sound plausible in the absence of eye witnesses, lack of cooperation from the Wood's and the mangled no.1 iron.


Tiger Woods' bizarre overnight car crash outside his Florida home came only two days after the National Enquirer published an article claiming the golf champ was having an affair.
Police said they had no knowledge of a fight between Woods, 33, and his wife, Elin, before Woods left their house at 2:25 a.m. Friday — backing out of his driveway and plowing into a fire hydrant and a neighbor's tree in a gated community near Orlando.
The Enquirer's explosive story hit the stands Wednesday contending that Woods has been seeing New York night club hostess Rachel Uchitel and that the pair recently were spotted in Melbourne while Woods was playing in the Australian Masters tournament.
SLIDESHOW: Tiger Woods
Uchitel denied having an affair with Woods when contacted by Fox News and said the Enquirer story was completely fabricated.
She said she barely knows the tabloid paper's sources and only has met them twice.
"I don't know who they are," Uchitel told Fox. "These two women put this out there. This is not something I want to be involved with at all. I'm not trying to go out there saying I'm having an affair with Tiger Woods."
Uchitel said she is in the process of retaining an attorney.
A representative from the National Enquirer declined comment.
Woods was found lying in the street with his wife hovering over him when authorities arrived at the scene, according to Windermere, Fla., Police Chief Daniel Saylor.
Saylor said Woods' wife told officers she was in the house when she heard the accident and "broke the back window with a golf club."
"She supposedly got him out and laid him on the ground," he said. "He was in and out of consciousness when my guys got there." read more from FOX News

8 comments:

MK said...

Personally i think this is a needless distraction, with leftists all across the western government trying to impoverish us and strip us of our liberty, a golfer doing something is of little concern

Mr Pink Eyes said...

I think that you probably summed up the events of the crash pretty accurately.
How is it that Tiger Woods is allowed to cancel three "meetings" with the police. I think we know the answer to that.

Debbie said...

We assume your version is correct, but we still don't really know. If Tiger is innocent of the charges he cheated, then I hope he sues the tabloids.

MK is correct though, it is a distraction from health care, Afghanistan. The Obama administration should be thankful to Tiger.

It also shows the sad state of American journalism.

Debbie
Right Truth
http://www.righttruth.typepadcom

TexasFred said...

If you are caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron.
~Lee Trevino~

Ron Russell said...

You got that Fred the No.1 iron is almost extinct and hard to hit. I recall using one in high school over 50 years ago. You're the only one so far to catch my meaning.

Ron Russell said...

Yes, MK and Debbie it is just a bit of trivia to break the flow of depressing news. Even the most serious movie is sometimes preceded by a cartoon.

Matt said...

I'm with you Ron, sometimes, you just have to go with something different, like my occasional car posts.

Teresa said...

Like you said, I think that Tiger has turned into a pussy cat. Very good informative article!

If Tiger did cheat on his wife than I don't blame his wife for going after him with a 1- iron.