In a late night dumpster dive by reporters from the New York Times and CNN, 7 empty cases of Belver Bears Vodka valued at some $7,240 per bottle and 5 cases of Petrossian Royal Ossetra Caviar valued at $3,036 per can were found outside the residence of Donald Junior at Trump Tower. If is further being reported that the eldest son of President Trump had secret copies of what is soon to be, the banned film Doctor Zhivago, in a hidden vault at his Penthouse. It is also confirmed that an anonymous source, only know as Boris, claimed that he tossed down shots of 'Russian Whiskey aka Vodka' with the young Trump at a bar in Brighton Beach, nicknamed 'Little Odessa', where they discussed the glories of the Russian Revolution.
The vodka, the Caviar along with the hidden film of Doctor Zhivago leave little doubt that Donald Junior was colluding with the Russians. Needless to say, this earth-shattering information was first reported in the New York Times, which we all know is an unimpeachable source of non-bias news.
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