Adnow

loading...

Thursday, January 28, 2010

State of the Onion Address

I watched the State of the Union speech tonight as did dozens of others. And just as I suspected it sounded more like a campaign speech than a truly state of the union speech. Obama failed to move to the center as many thought he might. We've seen this before with Biden and Nancy sitting behind the great one and Nancy popping out of her seat every few minutes as if prodded by a hot iron and Joe Biden shaking his head in approval of every word that flowed from the TOTUS to the mouth of the great orator. Yes, the campaign for the off year elections is on and the number one campaigner is Barack, despite the fact that he scolded both party's for being in campaign mode all the time---this guy has got some nerve and must think we all are stupid. Again, he is trying to sell his magic elixir that is a cure all for the nations ills. He thinks he can do it again, he thinks he can continue to peddle his wares despite the fact that voters in PA, VA and MA have rejected his sells pitch. He just doesn't understand that we get it and continues to blame us for not buying what he is trying to force on us. I could go on and on and never get anywhere just as Barack did, so I will spare you the nonsense. I will leave you with this short satirical piece I can across yesterday at The Born Again Americans a great site that I visit daily.
Thank you. Emeril Lagasse thank you. Thank you very much. Paula Dean, Mr. Tyler Florence, Distinguished Members of the Food Network, honored guests and fellow citizens:

Today marks my first State of the Onion address to you, a culinary duty as old as our appetite itself.

Julia Child began this tradition in 1965 after reminding the nation that the destiny of self-indulgence and the "preservation of the sacred fire of halitosis" is "finally staked on the experiment encrusted in the pallets of the American people." For our friends in the press, who place a high premium on accuracy, let me say: l did not actually hear Julia Child say that, but it is a matter of historic record. (the preceding was a shameless adaptation of our last great president, Ronald Reagan's 1st State of the Union address)

So as I sit before you, allow me to reaffirm to you the American public that today indeed our "Onion" is in a great "State"... Unlike others that will remain nameless, our "Onion" with very little peeling becomes quite transparent. I must admit that I sometimes get teary eyed when working with our "Onion", as I'm reminded just how far we have come... I must warn you against those green or spring "Onions" as they deep down are real scallions... There are some "Onions" that are real pearls, others are sweet and some are blooming, but our red or Spanish "Onions" translate into great flavor... We have the white and brown "Onion" while the vidalia "Onion" is truly representative of our southern states... Though perhaps not normally considered an "Onion" you might want to take a leek... (try working that into a speech)...

So in closing, allow me to say "God Bless and Long Live Our Onion"

Post a Comment