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Thursday, January 28, 2010

State of the Onion Address

I watched the State of the Union speech tonight as did dozens of others. And just as I suspected it sounded more like a campaign speech than a truly state of the union speech. Obama failed to move to the center as many thought he might. We've seen this before with Biden and Nancy sitting behind the great one and Nancy popping out of her seat every few minutes as if prodded by a hot iron and Joe Biden shaking his head in approval of every word that flowed from the TOTUS to the mouth of the great orator. Yes, the campaign for the off year elections is on and the number one campaigner is Barack, despite the fact that he scolded both party's for being in campaign mode all the time---this guy has got some nerve and must think we all are stupid. Again, he is trying to sell his magic elixir that is a cure all for the nations ills. He thinks he can do it again, he thinks he can continue to peddle his wares despite the fact that voters in PA, VA and MA have rejected his sells pitch. He just doesn't understand that we get it and continues to blame us for not buying what he is trying to force on us. I could go on and on and never get anywhere just as Barack did, so I will spare you the nonsense. I will leave you with this short satirical piece I can across yesterday at The Born Again Americans a great site that I visit daily.
Thank you. Emeril Lagasse thank you. Thank you very much. Paula Dean, Mr. Tyler Florence, Distinguished Members of the Food Network, honored guests and fellow citizens:

Today marks my first State of the Onion address to you, a culinary duty as old as our appetite itself.

Julia Child began this tradition in 1965 after reminding the nation that the destiny of self-indulgence and the "preservation of the sacred fire of halitosis" is "finally staked on the experiment encrusted in the pallets of the American people." For our friends in the press, who place a high premium on accuracy, let me say: l did not actually hear Julia Child say that, but it is a matter of historic record. (the preceding was a shameless adaptation of our last great president, Ronald Reagan's 1st State of the Union address)

So as I sit before you, allow me to reaffirm to you the American public that today indeed our "Onion" is in a great "State"... Unlike others that will remain nameless, our "Onion" with very little peeling becomes quite transparent. I must admit that I sometimes get teary eyed when working with our "Onion", as I'm reminded just how far we have come... I must warn you against those green or spring "Onions" as they deep down are real scallions... There are some "Onions" that are real pearls, others are sweet and some are blooming, but our red or Spanish "Onions" translate into great flavor... We have the white and brown "Onion" while the vidalia "Onion" is truly representative of our southern states... Though perhaps not normally considered an "Onion" you might want to take a leek... (try working that into a speech)...

So in closing, allow me to say "God Bless and Long Live Our Onion"

8 comments:

Maggie M. Thornton said...

This speech was something my 15 year old nephew could write for his debate class. Of course, even at his tender age, he couldn't do it without gagging.

It was hilarious to see bobble-head Biden bobbling and Nancy chewing her cud...or something. What's up with that?

Really enjoyed the Emeril piece. I linked you in my hit piece:-)

Debbie said...

I searched high and low for an image of a BUNCH of flapping seals. I was going to photoshop an image of the State of the Union speech using the seals, but I could not find one that I likes. That's what Pelosi looked like.

The fact checking today is what is really interesting.

YOU LIE OBAMA

Debbie
Right Truth
http://www.righttruth.typepad.com

PatriotUSA said...

Absolutely the worst SOTU
speech I have watched.The
way Obama insulted the
Supreme court right
to their faces, the lies
and half truths that he
told, really really pathetic.
If he is hoping to reclaim
his standing it surely
won't happen after this speech.

Obama is truly a one term blunder!

The Born Again American said...

Ron,

Receiving notority on your blog is like Obama receiving the Nobel Peace Prize... We didn't earn it, but we're both willing to bask in the glory...

Thanks...

Snarky Basterd said...

Well ... I'm glad he's campaigning for Democrats in November ... they're all sure to lose now.

Samuel Gonzalez said...

Ron

Very nice read!

Last night I had a church board meeting and I got home at 10:15. I was shocked that he was still speaking.

But, I guess he did blame Goerge Bush again without using the word "inherit", but he alluded to it again in a diffeent way.

I can't believe this guy!

CAPTAIN THURSTON said...

Oh. He stopped talking? Thanks for the heads up.

TRESTIN MEACHAM said...

I want Biden to be President next year. At least he has some entertainment value. I should have sniffed glue instead of watching, I would have saved brain cells.