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Friday, January 8, 2010

You May Be A Taliban If.................


Some interesting observations on the Taliban by that great American philosopher, Jeff Foxworthy.

"YOU MAY BE A TALIBAN IF..."

1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to liquor.

2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.

3. You have more wives than teeth.

4. You wipe your butt with your bare hand, but consider bacon "unclean."

5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.

6. You can't think of anyone you haven't declared Jihad against.

7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.

8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.

9. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least four.

10. You've always had a crush on your neighbor's goat.

11. Your cousin is president of the United States

Ray Stevens sing OBAMA CARE!



Shamelessly stolen from The Grouch at Right Truth

10 comments:

TexasFred said...

Can a good Muslim be a good American?

I forwarded that question to a friend who worked in Saudi Arabia for 20 years.

The following is his forwarded reply:

Theologically – no. Because his allegiance is to Allah, the moon God of Arabia.

Religiously – no. Because no other religion is accepted by his Allah except Islam. (Qu ran, 2:256)

Scripturally – no. Because his allegiance is to the five pillars of Islam and the Qu ran (Koran).

Geographically – no. Because his allegiance is to Mecca, to which he turns in prayer five times a day.

Socially – no. Because his allegiance to Islam forbids him to make friends with Christians or Jews.

Politically – no. Because he must submit to the mullah (spiritual leaders), who teach annihilation of Israel and destruction of America, the great Satan.

Domestically – no. Because he is instructed to marry four women and beat and scourge his wife when she disobeys him. (Quran 4:34 ).

Intellectually – no. Because he cannot accept the American Constitution since it is based on Biblical principles and he believes the Bible to be corrupt.

Philosophically – no. Because inĂ‚ Islam, Muhammad, and the Quran do not allow freedom of religion and expression.

Democracy and Islam cannot co-exist. Every Muslim government is either dictatorial or autocratic.

Spiritually – no. Because when we declare “one nation under God,” the Christian’s God is loving and kind, while Allah is NEVER referred to as heavenly father, nor is he ever called love in The Quran’s 99 excellent names.

Therefore after much study and deliberation, perhaps we should be very suspicious of ALL MUSLIMS in this country.

They obviously cannot be both good Muslims and good Americans.

Call it what you wish, it’s still the truth.

Debbie said...

I see a fatwa on the horizon for Foxworthy.

Seriously, those are so funny and so true at the same time.

I noticed on TV today in Detroit where the Christmas day Nigerian had his hearing in court, there were Muslims outside with signs, talking to the camera. No it wasn't what you think, they were AGAINST the Nigerian, against Islamic Terror.

They spoke to the terrorists through the camera, and told them "Here we are, we are Americans, shoots us right here." This is a good sign.

The group Muslims Against Sharia have solid American as well as Canadians and others involved, and they speak out as strong as you, me, Atlas, or anybody else.

There is hope.

Debbie
Right Truth
http://www.righttruth.typepad.com

MK said...

Think i've seen this one somewhere before.

"11. Your cousin is president of the United States"

That's a new addition though. :)

Teresa said...

Foxworthy was great! I agree with Ray that we should send these dang commies to Venezuela.

Matt said...

Good one, and good reply Fred!

TRESTIN MEACHAM said...

The two great rural philosophers of our time.

Grouch said...

Oh so funny.

Grouch said...

By the way, feel free to steal anytime. I stole it from the little woman.

Snarky Basterd said...

The irony is incredible.

The Born Again American said...

Texas Fred's friend say's it all... This country was founded on religious freedom, but when that religions' fundamental belief is that you as a nation must not be allowed to exist, it would be like a a medical doctor saying you must in the name of fairness allow cancer to exist in your body... After all it's only trying to kill you...